Wednesday, July 31, 2002

conflicting emotions:

matt says to me that he can't even look at me sometimes. he also says that he can see things working, that he can't see things working, that he's giving us 6 months then that's it, that we should break up now, and that we should have another baby.
none of this is helping. i know he can't help what he's feeling as much as anyone involved in this right now. i still keep coming back to the me moving away idea. at least for a while. although, it's looking like staying away from sean hasnt been such a good idea. we're arguing more now than we ever have. i'm contemplating calling him now but i'm scared that holly will answer, and i don't think that either of us are ready to talk with each other right now. i think that now would be the best time because we'll be more than honest since both of us are still reeling from things that have been said. it's almsot like the original problem has been taken over by all these stupid ones...we need to sort this out.

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