Saturday, December 29, 2007

well, last night was pretty gross

after having a headache and a sore back all day at work, i went home for a short nap and a shower. i was going to bens, to be a sounding board for the goings on of the last few days.

i did this job well, laying on his bed in the dark with my eyes closed because my head was still hurting and my back was still sore, so the listening part was achieved with the utmost excellence. what i had to listen to wasnt all that nice, but i suppose, not all that surprising

there are sad things in the world, and people are stupid ('and boys are shit!', says sharyn. yes sharyn, boys are shit)

we walked down to the wheatsheaf. my feet started to hurt straight away. i wasnt sure why. i wasnt wearing new shoes, they're shoes i always wear. by about halfway there i had to walk bare foot and, although it wasnt as bad, it was still hurties. we got inside and i hobbled to a couch where i sat down, listened to cookie baker, and put my glass of coke on the soles of my feet.

x rang. he was bored and missing me. it was 10 oclock, i told him to go to sleep. he's in a wedding today, with e. they'll be beautiful.

i had to go out the front of the pub to hear him. while i was sitting on the ground i noticed that i had huge blisters on the soles of my feet. so i popped them with a badge. and it was gross, but fun, because popping blisters, like squeezing pimples and pulling out splinters, is all fun.

i hobbled back to ben and tried to sleep on the couch again, listening to andrew p street. he played end credits. i love that song. then i started feeling really yucky. there was sweat all around my hairline and i felt woozy. i hobbled to the toilet but the bright was too much, so made my way back to ben.

i feel sick ben. i want to go home

so i got in a taxi. we were on south road when i told him to pull over. he says 'turn here?' i say 'pull over!' and spew into my hand while opening the door to spew outside. i dont know what was in my tummy, but it was gross. i apologised as he gave me eftpos roll to wipe my hands on. we made it to bens, i apologised again, paid and got in my car.

i got back out onto south road and my eyes started to freak out. the world was going from horizontal to vertical. i felt better in my tummy, but my head was not good. wearing my sunglasses seemed to help that a bit, and i drove home from thebarton to noarlunga at 11 at night with sunglasses on.

instead of christmas like it was last year, it was then that i realised i was alone and had no one. there was no one i could call to pick me up if i decided i couldnt drive anymore

so i kept driving

stumbling into my house, i have slept until 11 and while i cant walk anywhere because my feet are fucked, i dont really feel sick anymore. i do believe that i shall go back to bed now though. its ninites again

Monday, December 24, 2007

just because you got a new dress, doesnt mean you get all the boys

im part of the addicted to plastic community of blythe collectors. we had a christmas swap on the forum board. i sent off a couple of little felt skirts that i made with no patterns, no sewing machine and no idea, and a kite and a cat and a couple of other little cute things.

this is what i got in return from someone who actually can do stuff

here is amelia, modeling the new dress, jacket and clip


"it matches my eyes, it must be for me"

next, flora showing us the cute badge


she's a little bit miffed that amelia stole all the clothes.

and here is amelia realising that because she was a spoilt little bitch, kurt cobain troll has decided to hang out with flora for the day


which goes to show you that just because you have new clothes, doesnt mean you get all the boys

Sunday, December 23, 2007

say, if in your house, you had a toy room, what would be something you wouldnt expect to find in it?

the boys and i were watching harry potter and the order of the phoenix, when there was a tremendous bang up the other end of the house. i figured the cats were being spastics and ignored it, but then that noise started. that one which means cats are running around your house and you dont understand why and you dont even think they understand why. you know that sound? that was the sound.

i thought perhaps i should investigate

in the toy room, i found the source of the noise. clancy

she was...chirping? making small chirrupy noises. she was standing in the cupboard that holds the nintendo and looking at me strangely. i looked around the cupboard and couldnt find anything weird. nothing that could explain the ridiculous running around, anyway. then she jumped behind the cupboard and there was a flustery noise. i peeked behind. there was a dark shape in the corner. clancy was chirping again, and when i called her, she looked up at me and had a feather in her mouth

i removed clancy and had the boys stand guard incase any other furry creatures happened to feel like helping me, and rescued a small, very soft, very fluffy pigeon. we wrapped it in a tea towel and put it in a box with a saucer of water. e thought it would probably be hungry so he went and found a millepede for it. thoughtful boy.

after about half an hour, the box started jumping, so we took it outside and after a quick look around and a big deep breath, it was off into the air and over the fence

how the hell did it get in my house?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

house smells like melted burning plastic

its not pleasant

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

things that shouldnt be allowed

high heeled shoes on stupid drunk girls when i am out having a dance with my friends.

also, their stupid faces when they realise they've stepped on your foot AGAIN and you now have a massive chunk of skin missing and a large unsightly bruise

people are stupid


hand holding occurred again. and then he went home

people are stupid


sunday night, voldemort played with his new band supporting darren hanlon. another of those times when i can walk into a room and my past is all sitting there having a beer with each other. thankfully, i had ben and a nice group of people to sit with and talk to.
during this discussion, ben repeatedly referred to 'our band'. this would have been fine, except that the people we were talking to were in actual real bands and i felt a bit dumb saying that i had recorded songs. still, was nice to meet nice people.

dazz played an awesome set and laughed at my compulsive air drumming

and then it was time for home

quote of the night:
'what was the last name of that guy troy who went to high school with us and lived next door to me?'
'i dont know....mclure?'
'no, i dont think it was troy mclure'


busy thursday night? if not, come to the moonlight cinema to see jim sturgess...i mean... across the universe. get there early and join us for tasty treats, or late if you want to be anti social and just come for the movie

Monday, December 10, 2007

sometimes, i like to do puzzles. i particularly like them if ive only had to pay 50 cents for them.
yesterday i started this puzzle

and so far, i've gotten this much done

today, it got harder

what is that?'s you

of course it is

Now playing: Ben Folds - Such Great Heights
via FoxyTunes
a boy held my hand saturday night

it was weird, and kinda nice

Thursday, December 06, 2007

i know you're all wondering, so rather than make you ask me, i'll just let you know

i have a two story house in animal crossing, with a green roof. yesterday i caught a string fish which is worth 15000 bells, and i proclaimed myself awesome. this wasnt a learned behaviour, like teaching the rabbit to say 'jim sturgess' or the parrot to say 'tres bien', i did this all of my own accord.

then today i spent 32000 buying the moon. because, well, what if smurfette comes over and says she'll only marry me if i give her the moon? i'll totally be prepared

Sunday, December 02, 2007

surprisingly, especially considering my lack of sleep and the goings on of election day and subsequent reading of the local paper, im doing ok.
due to my not being able to find the prescription for my medicine, i was limiting myself to one tablet every two days, to see me through until my appointment on friday. when i told my doctor this i was expecting her to be a bit upset at me for messing with my medication, but she just asked me how i was going and as i recalled the last 6 weeks or so since my last doctors appointment, i realised that actually, i was going ok

dishes are getting done, washing is being hung out, as far as i can tell, christmas presents are finished and wrapping has begun. the kids had aquatics all week and i managed to rinse out their swimming gear every night and have it ready to go the next morning. i know that to a lot of you these things may come as second nature, and it could seem a bit strange to be talking about them as achievements, but when all you want to do is lay in bed and sleep, they are achievements.

miffy and i went to see hairspray at the moonlight cinema last night. it was TEH AWESOMES!!1!
we had a lovely dinner of potato salad, dip and pita bread, along with popcorn and maltesers for dessert. yummo. it was a lovley night, but we both admitted that as much as we are team awesome and, like, totally cool, it would have been nice to be snuggling with a nice boy.
the last time i was at moonlight cinema was with tom. we saw the spanish apartment

after the movie we went to jive for gosh and that was pretty darn good too. i havent goshed for ages, and neither had miffy. and it was good. i had fun. we had to move around the dancefloor a little bit as there were seriously annoying people everywhere. i have a bruise on my foot from being stepped on by a stilletto boot. she knew she'd done it too cos she turned around and looked at me and just laughed and kept dancing. whore faced bitch. also, one side of the rom seemed to be almost entirely populated by couples. we didnt need that side of the room

miffy decided she had had enough and got angry. with everyone. so we left. james needed a lift home, and as he is (as he rightly says) probably the nicest guy we'll ever meet, i gladly gave him a lift. james has a friend who is a girl. he buys her dresses and tickets to gigs. seems to me that as miffy and i are also friends of james' and also girls, that we should get dresses and gig tickets too. just saying

earlier this week i had told tom i was going to email him, but i didnt. he messaged and asked why not. i wrote back and said i was too scared

it was cos i was going to send this song

Now playing: Tom Song-02
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

you know that dithery kind of thing that hugh grant does?

clancy does that. well, she just did that. i went out the back and she was holding a rat in her mouth by its head. she put it down carefully, did the dithery head thing, looked around a bit, gently picked it up again, took a couple of steps, dithered again, put it down like she was about to explain something ( picked it up again and slinked (slinked? slunk?...apparently its slunk) slunk off behind the cubby

presumably to eat the rat

i dont know if hugh grant does that part


this morning e sang to me. well, he recited lyrics to me

mum...we must talk on every telephone get eaten off the web....get fired from the crystal ball of the books that we have read...strapped into a chair we must sing, we must sing we must sing

for a 6 year old, he's pretty good at brighteyes

Sunday, November 25, 2007

if only eyeballs mcbulgy and doofus von trendy did the commentary for the election

so, are you packing it?


Saturday, November 24, 2007

so, i went to vote

i'd left it til later in the afternoon cos...well, cos i was sleeping earlier, but also cos it was hot and last time i had to wait in a line and it was hot. and, yeah, basically its the hot that was annoying me. i figured that by late in the afternoon, i wouldnt have to deal with people forcing pamphlets onto me.

as i pulled up, i was greeted by this

lovely. no one hassling me to vote the way they wanted. no one giving out thousands of pieces of paper, that just get thrown away. aaah, i might even get through this

so, i entered the school, and headed toward the polling room. uh oh. there they are.

'would you like one of these?' asks the democrats. 'no thankyou', i answer. the greens just smile at me as i walk past. labor is leaning against the wall a few metres ahead. 'can i interest you in..' 'nope, i dont want anything, thankyou', i say, cutting him off before he can finish. 'no worries,' labor answers, 'have a good day'. 'thanks!'.

hmm....theres one. oh. look who it is. i literally stop walking and just stand there. i probably look stupid. i dont care all that much. i decide to walk a couple of metres to my left to stay out of the way of this particular pamphlet bearer. this probably makes me look stupider. again - care factor is zero. i avert my eyes. i look straight ahead.

'have a how to vote card?' she says, walking towards me.
'no, please dont give me anything'
'its politics, its not personal'
'yes. i know that. i dont want anything'

she made it personal, she didnt have to. why couldnt she just say 'no worries' like everyone else. why did she feel the need to come over to me, where the others just let me walk past? i said no, why couldnt she just accept that.

and really, does she think i am that stupid? does she believe that i thought she was trying to make me join her fanclub, or something equally as ridiculous?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

good morning, everyone, and welcome to 2am. i'm quite accustomed to it now. i dont know what i'd do if i didnt see it everyday...oh, hang on, yes i do. i'd be sleeping like a normal, sane person, thats what i'd be doing.

instead, im up. i've tried sleeping, it doesnt work. i just get to do the laying there and being awake part, and thats no fun. i've been reading. i'm half way through the 4th sisterhood of the travelling pants. before that i was playing animal crossing until tom nooks store closed. there's not much more you can do after that, i'll have to wait til tomorrow.

so far while i've been online i've stopped myself from buying dolls clothes from etsy, and i havent even begun a search on ebay. what i did do a search for is flights from adelaide to dublin. i know, shocked, arent you. that doesnt happen everyday, huh. seems i've found the cheapest ones so far though. 1,819.82 including taxes and fees. thats pretty darn good. i havent been able to find anything under 2000 before now. it's flying via kuala lumpur and amsterdam.

i need to talk to tom

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

i unflead the cats today. i sat them on my lap and squeezed the stuff onto the back of their necks, where they cant reach it to lick it off, and let them go again.

clancy looked at me like i was worse than the worst person in the world, and ran off to sit on my clothes. i assume so all the fleas can jump off and hide in my clothes. good thinking, on her behalf if thats what she was doing. go you, clancy, you'll show me.

banjo....sigh....well, what can we expect of banjo. she somehow managed to lick the unlickable and ran around the house for the next half an hour, frothing at the mouth and dribbling all over the place. she made sure she ran back and forth across my god lounge, and also shook her head so her spit landed in my cup of tea. she's awesome.

anyone want a cat? they dont have fleas
just to let you know that i've managed to flood my laundry again

that is all
2:29 am

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink

I'm so tired I don't know what to do
I'm so tired my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you would do

You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind

I'm so tired, I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid git.

You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind

as i was laying in bed, awake, and composing letters, songs, sms's and blog posts in my head as i usually do, i decided to get up, and turn on my computer. things suck right now. i love a boy who is so far away and it hurts. x is giving me relationship advice and e is as confused as ever. but then i checked my email and i smiled so much :) theresa found me

but, lets start from the beginning

i cant sleep. i cant stop my brain. im going insane. i think there are all but a few lines of that song that fit my headspace right now. i dont smoke, its been more than 3 weeks, and i dont know who sir walter raleigh is, or whether or not he is/was a stupid git.

i miss tom. hear that world? i miss him, and it hurts and it sucks and there is no one out there who could possibly understand how much strength it takes to not click the button that pays for the tickets to dublin. and every night i lay awake in bed and i think about him. i think of other things too, but its mainly him. i think of times that we've already had together, and i think of times we could have together. and i wonder what would happen if i clicked that button and turned up on his doorstep. we spoke on the phone the other night. as we were saying goodbye he said, 'ok, well, i'll see you....' and just trailed off. i finished for him 'if im ever in the neighbourhood, i'll be sure to pop in'. he said 'yes, make sure you do that'. so, what do i do? do i do the girl thing and grab hold of that and not let go because he said that next time i happen to be walking the streets of raheny, i should pop in and we'll have a cuffa tea? do i think back to phonecalls where we cried and he told me that i was the girl he cared most about? or do i think about the other things he says, like 'this cant happen' 'i cant live in adelaide' 'you cant leave your boys to be with me' 'i dont want to settle down yet' 'i want to kiss you, but we shouldnt, we cant' (you can guess which part of that one i heard).

i do all of those things. i hear all of them and i see all of them, and it all comes down to the strength of pushing that button

the advice that x gave me was 'mum, dont you think that if you just liked her a little bit more, things would be a lot easier for everyone?'

and yes, i do think that. and yes, he is right. his magnificent 8 year old brain is perfectly right. but i cant. nor can i go into any detail about this, although im sure that the majority of you who read this understand what is being talked about. it's been two years and i have done some nice things. i've probably done things that could be considered not nice as well...what with the yelling and all that, but i've been civil mostly, i think.... and really, thats all that i can be right now. as right as he is, i cant do it. im sorry, baby

in e's fantastically confused brain, if we just went on a holiday together, everything would be alright. she could stay home and look after them, and we'd go on a holiday together and get married. and then we'd all be friends. and he says this with such hopefulness and certainty at the same time, it breaks my heart.

i dont know why things arent that easy, sweetheart, i wish i could make it better for you.

i look at my boys, in their honest and open, sweet innocent 6 and 8 year old selves and wonder what i did to deserve such beautiful children.

and then, theresa! im so happy. the slow and sad face i had on half an hour ago was instantly wiped away when i saw i had an email from her. i think....i think she's in adelaide, and this makes me smile even more. i shall call her tomorrow, and we shall catch up on everything and i know that i will smile and laugh the whole time.

that, at least, is one good thing

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

crowded house


augie march were pretty awesomes as well. and good on you, adelaide, for standing up and dancing around at a seated concert. its about time.

between augie march and crowded house, we amused ourselves with taking photos. please take part in the newly thought up game of 'whose boobs are these'

whose boobs are these?

and no, i will not tell you who i went with

we had great seats, and could see both the stage and the screens really well. here are some crap shots i took with my phone. i only got a couple, i spent most of my time just singing along

then we went to villis cafe and i got a vanilla slice. most exciting. i am not the best at reviews, other than to say woot and such similar things, but this was awesome. oh, and, what was with the greyhounds?
if you build it...a cat will get thrown at it and knock it down

at school, e's class is 'using their imagination'. they're watching shrek as well, and talking about the storylines in it, like friendship and love and fear.
'shrek, fiona and donkey were scared and afraid when they were in the castle with the dragon and the lava'.

so here is e, making the castle (you'll need to check flickr later on for better photos). that orange thing on top is the dragon, and banjo is making a special appearance as 'the monster that knocks everything down'. she is, by far, the bast cat in the world

Saturday, November 10, 2007

and how dumb is it, that i'm sitting here, ready to go out

except i havent left yet becasue, i know he's awake now

and maybe...maybe he might go to the library and email me


but i should go out

Thursday, November 08, 2007

oh...yes...i know

i really, really know

The drive home wasn't very pleasant. I'm pissed off because (a) Pencils is howling noisily at the top of her lungs - there were tears and snot everywhere - yuck. (2) Noise is trying to show me where she's bitten him on the leg, hard enough to draw blood and I'm screaming at them that I don't fucking well care who did or said what because I think they're feral, selfish and horrid creatures who have stolen any chance of a decent life away from me forever.
p.s. love you, babies!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

rundown of coke bottles removed from my fridge

2lt X 4
1.5lt X 1
1lt X 1

approximate volume of disposed of coke


approximate teaspoons of sugar in aforementioned disposed of coke


status of my drainage system in the kitchen now that 4.6lts of coke has been poured down it

probably pretty good now, since coke is caustic and all that...prolly pretty clear down there now

money lost on wasted product

well, i know for a fact that the 1litre was $3.30. what a rip off! the others were probably around the $3 mark, but i'll put one at $2 cos when i buy coke its only when its on


money made by recycling bottles at a later date


go adelaide

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Thursday, November 01, 2007

things that are taking up my time right now




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

except, you know, boyfriend version

Monday, October 29, 2007

oz idol

if you want an actual recap of tonights show, please go here and laugh your arse off

if you prefer to stay here, you can read messages tween me and kirsty, and me and miffy

*ricki lee*
kirsty: are you watching this shit?
me: sadly i am. im waiting for her vag to fall out of her dress and eat one of the acrobats
kirsty: oh that is beautiful imagery

damn, i missed the beginning of idol. u watching? what song did they do? haha. her dancers are dumb
me: dont think they've done the song yet. kirsty just msgd 'are you watching this shit' i answered with 'im waiting for her vag to fall out of her dress and eat an acrobat'
baha. her rack was ready. farkin hell, that shit was gold! gay.

*courtney murphy*
kirsty: did you think they were going to say he was dead?
me: wouldnt have surprised me. miffy msgd about ricki lee 'gay'
kirsty: she looked like a retarded feather duster, she was all the wrong shape

me: did you see that sign? it said 'i wish matt was 3 years older' best.sign.ever.
miffy: corby digs womens fashion. i love the jackets carl wears, they're spunk. tarasai is an angry bratz doll. i didnt see the sign. damn

me: marty totally moves like agro. i think i have a crush on carl
kirsty: awwwwwww he is cute

*telstra phones and the first in the bottom (hehehe, the first in the bottom)*
kirsty: i would never endorse that shit if i was on idol
me: oh, its such good quality, how quick is the download. dumbasses. sux to be tarasai, mwahahaha. i like marty

miffy: i enjoyed how he said 'and mark pointed at you and yelled 'touchdown'. i giggled. yum, dulux jelly beans are back, and we're painting! yay!

miffy: its my two votes that did it. clearly. bye bye tarasai
me: oh i hope so. i quite like natalie

*kevin rudds election promises*
kirsty: you really think he's going to ratify kyoto?
me: when he says ratify, all i can think of is the simpsons. but it sounds good kirsty: yeah, i dunno if he's trustworthy tho

*tarasai leaves*
me: fucking awesome
kirsty: fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: fucking awesome
miffy: she really does look like a bratz doll

me: i taught a crocodile on animal crossing to say 'tarasai sucks!'
miffy: haha, pure gold. i've laughed heaps today

kirsty: god make her shut up
me: god would be the one who could do it

while we're on the topic of bratz, mum, look at this

that is a baby bratz. its wearing a g string. explain to me how thats not slutty

Saturday, October 27, 2007

finding dead animals on my back porch

only a cat lover could think that was sweet

Friday, October 26, 2007


for over two years, i've been trying. i've gotten better...i, i have. but it's still hard. and i made a bit of extra effort this week, and where has it gotten me? on the phone, crying, and being hung up on cos 'someone was at the door'.

is it stupid to think that i might have meant something?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

give my house fleas, will you!

i'll give you a bath

Monday, October 22, 2007

it got cold today

lucky flora had her scarf and beanie

Thursday, October 18, 2007

she's here!

today i became a new mummy again.

for years i've wanted a blythe doll. i cant remember exactly when i first wanted one, but im pretty certain it was on one of our trips to melbourne when we visited chapel bizarre. they were always well out of my price range, but this year i decided to treat myself. instead of putting all my tax return money into savings like i usually do, i bought myself flora dawn

her real name is prima dolly ginger, but i've had the name 'flora' floating around in my head for a few nights now since i've been reading shantaram . flora doesnt have anything more to do with the book, other than its the name of one of the apartment blocks he stays in for a while, but since i read it its been stuck there, and everytime i read it again, i think 'thats what she should be called'.

hopefully posts shouldnt be too blythe related from now on. i'll try and keep them to a minimum, tho im sure there'll be some happy people who will be pleased i have another topic to talk about

ps. happy ben kweller day, everyone!
x = spotty

Sunday, October 14, 2007

ssssh. spots

so, i've been a tad quiet of late. i cant exactly say i've been busy as i havent done all that much, but i havent had a lot of opportunities to blog.

since i last blogged, it has been school holidays. i had lots planned for the holidays. i got those newspapers for mums, adelaides child or something, and had a look what was going on. there was a bug thing, i think, at the museum. bugs or dinosaurs, whatever it was i thought 'my kids will love that!' and was all set to take them in and have a lovely day in the city. we had play dates organised. i was gonna take them to the movies. i just thought we'd have one day at home first, just a quiet monday at home, to start the holidays off slowly.

but thats not where it begins. it actually begins on the sunday night at my aunties house for a birthday bbq. we're having a lovely time. x has camped out on the couch with the boys of his age group and is frantically playing nintendo ds until i say its time to go home. e on the other hand, started the night out with the other boys, but has ended up stuck to my side for the majority of the night. 'im just tired', he says, 'i dont wanna go home, i just want to sit with you'.

and he is tired, i can see it. in his face, his eyes, his whole body is saying 'im tired, take me home'. they'd been camping that weekend, and i figured he was just worn out from a day of fishing and running around by the river.

oh, i was wrong, wrong, wrong

monday comes, they get up, they begin the reflattening of the lawn that had sprung back up during the week they werent here, by riding their bikes around and around and around on the track. we play some lego, we watch a dvd or two and by mid afternoon, e is pooped again. we have a snuggle on the couch, its dinner time, they go to bed with the promise of a movie the next day.

tuesday morning. we get up, breakfasted and dressed and find out that the movie starts at 3. thats fine, we have bikes to ride and houses to build, complete with gardens of peas, corn, carrot and chilli. we also need to watch the land before time. at 230 we head over to the cinema and the kids have a race on the motorbike game. e and i try and get a ratatouille from the skiltester, but we fail. we obviously have no skil. we win two lollies instead. its getting closer to 3 and e is starting to slow down. 'i dont feel well' he says. we decide to watch the movie anyway and if he wants to, he can sleep during it, but you never know, he may feel better once he gets in there.

but he doesnt. he lasts most of the film but has to sit on my lap for the last quarter or so. he's so small and compact. it scares me when he's sick.

we're walking back inside the house.
'this mozzie bite is really itchy', he says.
'mmm' i say, 'dont scratch it too much'
'so's this one. and this one'
uh oh
'show me your mozzie bites'
'here, here'
i turn him around, and point them out on his back 'and here, here and here?'
'sweetie, you've got chicken pox'

herein ends our school holiday adventures

no play dates, no museum, no kids disco with the promise of macdonalds afterwards, no extra hours for me to work on thursday.... and im waiting til morning so i can see if my prediction is true.... two more weeks at home when x wakes up all spotty

there has been an upside to all of this. e can now ride x's bike with no trainer wheels. he taught himself. i seem to have conveniently missed the back wheel in this photo, but here you go

last night, miffy, sharyn, ellyn and i all went to revolver. and had awesome fun, because we are team awesome.

please look at this photo.

firstly, ignore that all photos taken by miffys camera are upside down. secondly, ignore what its called, and thirdly, doesnt my arm look like a penis!
you kind of have to look quickly and look away. its totally penis like.

now for things that dont fit in with the rest of what ive written:

* james blunt is actually funny. i didnt know he was english, and when he started talking he scared me
* phone calls from lovely boys on the other side of the world are just wonderful, no matter what time of day or night
* hairspray is quite possibly the happiest movie of all time. i love pig!
* if i was the mother of a well spoken 6 year old girl who loved reading books, i would not let her borrow a cd from the rap/hip hop genre which had a sticker on the front warning of coarse language and adult themes
* i cannot wait for the librarians to start on the 31st. 'our country, our rules, ok?'. i'll be sad to see the end of summer heights high, but im looking forward to seeing what chris lilley does next
* i am very excited to announce that soon, i'll be a mummy again. more news to follow

Monday, October 01, 2007

awesome! another chance for me to blog about being drunk and for you to tut tut my mothering skills!

friday night

shotz. i went to shotz. it was before midnight, and i hadnt already been somewhere else, and i wasnt already drunk and not wanting to go home and everything else was shut so we said 'fuck it, lets go to shotz'. it was the first night of juicebox, and miffy and i were hoping it would be a pretty big night. it was quite good. there were some good songs...there was also some gwen stefani and beyonce, but everyone there seemed to be having a nice time. poor chelsea, her boyfriend dumped her. but we said she could be in team awesome, and everything was ok. saw michael for a few seconds before he had to run away. and we also took photos in the toilets.

because we are awesome

i met a boy called phil and i danced with a boy called brett. he was possibly called aaron, i just remember thinking 'ha! same name as my brother!'. brett said he'd dance with me 'til your friend comes back'. um, ok...thankyou. he then held my hand and put his arm around my waist and we danced.
'you're a really good dancer'
'why are you laughing? its true'
'yeah, you're a heaps good dancer'
'and you're heaps cute'
'ha! thanks'
'yeah, you're a great dancer'
' not going to kiss you'
'thats ok, im not going to kiss you, i just think you're a great dancer'
'oh look, heres miffy'

all of a sudden it was 3am and it was closing time. early for shotz, but if you think about it, he'd been playing since 9, thats a long night. so hometime it was, and im sure i did something productive on saturday......slept, read books, kissed my babies.....that about sums it up.

saturday night

those of you who know me well would know around about how much alcohol it takes to get me drunk. this is anywhere between 1 and 2 drinks. so, when miffy brings along a bottle of vodka, suddenly 1 or 2 drinks becomes 5 and we're dancing on the street to the cure with highpants and greencard. but thats not how it started.

it started with this

go and see this movie. im not asking you, i am telling you. you must see this movie. and if you really love me you will get me the soundtrack and the dvd when it comes out.

while watching the movie, i consumed a packet of burger rings and an iced honeycomb milk drink. this may not seem important now, but believe me, it is.

at 1030, miffy and i made our way back to the car and drank vodka and red bull. it was tasty. and vodka-y. and red bull-y. we tried listening to miffys awesome cd that she made especially for the night, but it didnt want to work all that much, except for soko. so, it was after a few drinks that soko came on, soko is french and one line in her song is 'a boy called tom' and i thought, i know a boy called tom! and he's french! lets call him! because ideas that involve alcohol and mobile phones are always the best ones to follow up on. so i rang, left a drunken message, rang his other phone, talked to him drunkenly, sang soko, told him i will kiss him next time i see him, and then hung up.

then apologised in an sms for drunken messages

then set a reminder in my phone for the next day, to apologise again for drunken messages

then we listened to the cure, and danced in the street until 1230, when we figured cranker would be ready for us

it wasnt

there was some band on stage, yelling.

so i drank lots of water, cos i was hot. and then ian played the cure. and i danced. and i got hotter, and i drank more water, and then all of a sudden, i felt the need to wee, and while i was weeing, felt the need to spew. and it was the colour of chewed up burger rings mixed with honeycomb milk.

see? i told you it would be important

i felt immensely better after that, and danced until it was time to go to shotz (in the appropriate fashion, already drunk, and because there was nothing else open) and dance there. then it was sober oclock and time to go home.

all in all, a fun weekend was had by miffy and myself. one that i am sure we will have again very soon

Glen Hansard - Falling Slowly

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Marketa Iglova and Glen Hansard - If you want me

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can’t tell dreams from truth
For it’s been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance calls its only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
You know I really try
To be a better one to satisfy you for you’re everything to me
And I do what you ask me
If you let me be free

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

worth a big dollar

after much discussion, it was decided that the tooth fairy must put a sleeping spell on the whole house before she comes inside. otherwise, someone might wake up and see her. in putting the entire house to sleep, this ensures that cats are asleep too, and therefore will not pounce on the tooth fairy, thinking she's a bug

the tooth next to the missing one is wobbly too. ive been asked not to give him peanut butter sandwiches until it comes out because he pulls every nut out of his mouth, thinking its his tooth


Monday, September 24, 2007

at the cinema, jordans cinema

last night was my first visit to jordans cinema and i must say, i had a mighty good time. i've just noticed that the movie we watched isnt actually listed on the page. its was...dirty love? something like that? let me actually think and investigate...yes! i was right. dirty love and it was hilarious. with such lines as

oh my god. oh my god oh my god ohmygodohmygodohmy god

and my personal favourite: touch my bass, rebecca.

today, kirsty and i are hanging out and watching movies. im not sure which ones. im thinking singing in the rain, since i bought it and havent watched it yet. then later on we're picking up miffy and going to see december boys and eat cold rock. this is because WE are TEH AWESOMES!!1!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

dear miffy and kirsty,

would you like to go to the movies with me on tuesday? im thinking tuesday because it is cheaper, and then we can get icecream from cold rock, yeah? double cookie dough, here i come. i just typed 'hear'. ridiculous. anyway, movies. im thinking hairspray, what do you think?
i also believe that we should see 'once'. but i dont think that's playing here yet. i shall investigate that though. or maybe we might be in the mood for a little bit of daniel radcliffe? i read an interesting article on him the other day. i emailed it to you, kirsty, but you never responded.
i shall quote from it

The handsome actor still remembers when - aged only 11 - he was accosted by a pretty fan wearing only a towel.

'I didn't know what to do. I was just discovering what everything was. I'd be up for something now,' laughs Daniel, who at 16 dated 24-year-old hairdresser Amy Byrne.

im going to get a t shirt made up - harry potter : up for some

love from carly

edit - i've just looked at the nova cinema website, and they have once, december boys and hairspray all playing there

Saturday, September 22, 2007


it was a beautiful day. miffy and i managed to get within 30 seconds of the church before we decided we had gone the wrong way, turned back, drove down some back streets, ended up back where we started, turned the corner, and 'look! people!' or 'paintball' as x heard me say.

i couldnt help singing the christian television association version of the lords prayer. where are those ads now?

e didnt want to go. and once we got there, he didnt want to be there. thankfully they were both extremely well behaved during the ceremony. even when e slid his way around a car in the gardens and covered his brand new white t shirt in dirt.

instead of going to the reception, miffy and i went to the pizza shop in mclaren vale and drank coke and ate pizza. then we looked in at browse in and save and got some beatles pictures, and then to the chocolate shop. it was a lovely day.

thanks for being my date, miffy. WE are awesome

Saturday, September 15, 2007

things that are great

"seth stole my imaginary girlfriend!"
getting cake mix on cooking mama
wagon wheels
fruit toast

Monday, September 10, 2007

i have a headache. oops, there i go again, being so selfish. its all about me. me me me.

um...there is a headache and its hanging around....shit, i was gonna say 'my head' but that, again, is all about me.

i know! sharyn went to ikea today. i wont say that i went with her, because that would be selfish, talking about me, so we'll just say that sharyn went to ikea today and bought some things. she had lunch there which consisted of a very tasty piece of garlic bread. and then she came home. what a lovely day sharyn had.

holly got voted off of australian idol for singing the gossip and having bad hair

miffy had her birthday party on saturday night at the cavern for dinner and gosh for dancing. very nice time was had by all. except for the part where miffy was spewing and when we got back to my car and noticed that some dickface had smashed into it. shit, not my car. um. a car. and i'm sure that the person who owns the car was not very happy about it.

dublin would be nice

Saturday, September 08, 2007

its september, how the hell did that happen?

ive had this arguement about my blog before - whether what i write on here is truth or whether it is lies. and as i said while i was in court, its truth. that is, except, when i write at the end of a post that what i have written is purely fictional. except that part, the 'what i have just written is purely fictional', that part is true. you know what i mean. if you cant distinguish between truth and fiction, i suggest you go and read something else. perhaps a little golden book. or maybe the messenger. both of these publications i read on a regular basis and both fill me with joy at the quaintness of our world.


perhaps you could read dooce? here's an excerpt

When we get out to the car Jon has pulled almost every remaining hair off his head, and goes on and on about how I am single-handedly messing up Leta’s education, that all of her teachers for the next 18 years are going to have to undo all the damage I’ve already done. Why? Because I taught her how to say crayon the right way. Not because of all that heroin I smoked during pregnancy. Or how I like to drop her on her head from the roof of the house. Interesting.
you know what? i might be going out on a limb here, im not sure, but...i dunno... i.dont.think.heather.actually.smoked.heroin.or.dropped.leta.on.her.head.from.the.roof.of.the house. call me crazy (crazy) (never gets old) but im thinking thats...possibly sarcasm? perhaps wit? maybe a shot at how saying one word different to other people isnt going to do as much damage to her life as smoking heroin while pregnant or dropping her on her head from the roof of the house?

next, i shall be doing a spot of free thinking, wherein i write without much thought. please read it. i really really hope that you do. and i really really hope you each find something in it for yourselves and others around you

throat is hurting - perhaps should stop smoking crack.....(bwaaahhahahahaa. sorry, is that joke getting old?)

in one way, im looking forward to the wedding im going to soon. will be cute to see the boys (unamed) in their little suits. will be lovely to see two people who love each other so much, get together forever. in other ways which are blatantly obvious to quite a few people, would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork (was that sarcasm? who knows! she's just so tricky)

only mentioned the other day how i dont care so much about a certain couple of people being together, and that seeing them didnt bother me in the slightest. as long as he keeps his dick in his pants, everything should be fine

i sped in my car, but i've never driven around for months with my children in the car, and not actually had a license....hmmm....

dinner tonight should be interesting.

ebay is hilarious

me and the kids cleaned the toy room, and next week i'll be getting some things from ikea (miffy, i love you) that they chose to store their toys in.

speaking of which, IKEA CATALOGUE!!


Friday, September 07, 2007

a request

there are some people who dont want me to write about my kids anymore

there are also some people who dont even want me to write about me

so here is my post for the day:

today was sunny

to let you get over that intense piece of writing, i shall send you over to ebay to look at some things i had laying around my house and didnt want anymore

off you go

Thursday, September 06, 2007

every night since sunday, as the boys are going to bed, i've told them to sleep as long as they like; they dont have to go to school in the morning. and every morning they've both gotten up, got dressed, asked for breakfast and headed off to school after a night of coughing and delirious talking about cards and how 'its just not fair' and how 'he really shouldnt do that, you know'.

2am on tuesday morning, the smaller one came into my room, pleading for a drink of water. he laid down beside me, asked again, sat up, coughed, covered his mouth, and somehow i had enough time to jump out of bed, move the heater, tip out the lemons, and pass him the bucket. i realise that last part makes no sense, but if you've been in my room, you'd understand.

after i cleaned the smaller one up, reasoned with him that he should sleep in his own bed because if he slept in mine, i'd get sick, and then who would look after him? i went back to bed to listen to the coughing again and tried in vain to get back to sleep. i had told him again that he should sleep for as long as he could and wouldnt have to go to school. he was happy with this. said thankyou, and coughed his way to slumber.

then the morning came. the bigger one gets up, gets dressed and laughs his way through toasted tv, the smaller one comes in to me

'ive been thinking'
'i have an excursion today...'
'...and you think you might like to go'

so off they went again for the second day.

when i picked them up from school yesterday, the big one had a letter from his teacher saying he'd been coughing all week and had a hard time concentrating, and perhaps it would be better if he stayed home the rest of the week. he nodded sadly and said that yes, he thought she might be right. so we headed off to bed that night, again, with the knowledge they could sleep as long as they want and didnt have to get up.

so what happens? 7 o'clock comes along and they're calling out to me, begging to get up. NO i said, you're sick, you're staying home. by 8 they were both up and dressed and asking for breakfast. the big one ate it all up and went outside to ride his bike and the smaller one stared into the general direction of the tv. he's not well, i thought.

you're staying home
no, i want to go
you're staying home
im fine mum, i want to go to school

so we're at school. i've replied to the letter from wednesday and informed the teacher to call me if she believes he should come home. the smaller one and i walk into his classroom and he brightens up as he shows his teacher his sharing...(oh, thats why he wanted to go) and she says to me 'he's not well'. and i say i know, but explain that they're both telling me every morning they want to go to school. we make a compromise. he does his sharing (admiral akbar, weequay, gonk droid, crepe suzette and mrs evergreen; the oldest toys in your house) and we leave.

i decide to check on the big one. its 930, he's probably fine, but just incase.

'hi, im x's mum' (he has a new teacher, first time i've met her)
'oh, yes, i got your letter. he's at the office, he wasnt feeling well'

so we're at the office, he's laying down in the sick bed, we get in the car and head home. i make them stay in bed until 12. smaller one calls out every half hour or so 'is it lunch time yet?!?!'
in the 47 minutes they've been out of bed, they've ridden bikes (x), scooters (e), stacked the scooter and grazed knee and elbow (e), eaten sandwhiches and drank juice. now they're playing star wars racer on nintendo 64.

they'll be at school tomorrow

and i was supposed to be going to ikea today!

Now playing: Dan Kelly and the Alpha Males - Summer Wino
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


if you could kindly look to the right hand side of your screen you will see a list of links to blogs and other such sites i frequent. for a while now i've been clicking along and ignoring the ones that dont update. until today.

if you have been purged to the lower regions of my link column and feel this is undeserved, please let me know.
early morning conversations

e: mum?
me: mhm?
e: my willy....can it get married to your vagina?
me: no, no it cant
e: oh. is that because they're from the same family?
me: well...yes. also, body parts cant get married, you have to marry the whole person
e: did you know my willy is from melbourne?
me: oh? i thought it came with you when you were born
e: no.
me: i see
e: it lived in melbourne where it could look at the blue fish at the aquarium
me: right... and how did it do these things? live in melbourne, look at the blue fish (realised i shouldnt have asked this question as soon as it left my mouth)
e: well you see mum, when you poke its head out, it can see.
me: uhuh. ok. put it away now.
e: (settling back down next to me) before i had my willy i just wee'd out of a hole, but then i went to the shop at the hospital that sells bits of bodies, like, oh, you know, hearts and noses...
me: and willys?
e: yeah, and i bought my willy
me: how much was it?
e: a dollar, and i had a dollar, so i bought it
me: bargain
e: hey mum, you know your boobs?
me: yes, i do
e: they didnt always live in adelaide.
me: no? thats a surprise
e: one of them lived in melbourne, the other one lived in egypt
me: right. i think its time for you to get up now.

Now playing: The Lucksmiths - The Music Next Door
via FoxyTunes

Monday, September 03, 2007

its quite possible that in the next few days there will be someone who will be calling me a psycho. actually, im almost certain this will happen. i've heard it from their mouth before, so it wouldnt be a hard task to say 'oh, another psycho'. but really, if you're gonna promise nice and then deliver....well, ignoring me and being a right wanker, then you deserve to have your belongings sold on ebay.

so, if any of you are in the market for a quicksilver jumper, or some globe sneakers, or a nice pair of shorts...not sure of the brand name but im sure there would be one. i may not have heard of it, but then again, im not all that cool, am i.

aforementioned person has had fair warning of this outcome, and knows what needs to be done to stop it happening, but i just dont think its gonna happen. someone out there will get a nice new outfit, lucky you. if only it didnt take me being so sad to make you happy

Now playing: The Lucksmiths - The Fog of Trujillo
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, September 02, 2007

favourite lyrics

at the moment, apart from beautiful soko, i am enjoying yelling out some specific words from operator please, song about ping pong

i said LIAR!
i said CHEATER!

fun to jump and yell to

Saturday, September 01, 2007

i feel sad, my tummy hurts. i've spent the day listening to soko. i am in a complete man hating mood

i think the best course of action would be to go out and get drunk with miffy and ellyn

Now playing: The Whitlams - You Sound Like Louis Burdett
via FoxyTunes

Friday, August 24, 2007

i got a new car. its sporty and zoomy and cooler than my big station wagon thing that i used to have. the problem with this is that as i was driving it last saturday night, i went through a redlight speeding camera when i was doing 70kms. which would have been fine, except that it was a 60kms zone.

i know i shouldnt have been speeding, but it was 4am, i was tired and drunk, and i just wanted to go home. the kids were jumping all around the backseat and i was trying to turn around and yell at them to shut the fuck up, while at the same time, i was trying to text bazza to say we'd be dropping past to score. you would think that the guy i picked up on the way could have had a talk to the kids, but no, he was too busy winding up the window cos it was too cold, and i specifically told him to keep it down cos i dont want the kids breathing in that crackpipe smoke

the fact that i feel the need to add a disclaimer that only the speeding part of this was true annoys me. also, the use of the word 'youse' and putting a 'k' on the end of 'ing' words, like 'sumfink, enyfink, nuffink' etc, that annoys me too

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Monday, August 20, 2007

for the second time in my blog life, i find myself writing about something that miss apples has already posted about. this time, im doing it on purpose. the last time was purely coincidence. was it something to do with neighbours? i cant remember.


i signed up to a few of those internet dating sites years ago. the first time it was so i could look at someone who a friend had been checking out, since then ive popped my virtual head into those creepy rooms every now and then, and i've even met someone quite nice, but the majority of people on those sites scare the shit out of me. mainly, and if you go read this piece of amazing writing which is far superior to mine you will see that she agrees whole heartedly, WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE SPELL?

please, i'd like to introduce you to jasoncollins

gidday im jason looking to meet pepeol and have fun

hi i lick the bech movies horse riding and fishing outdors and i have tattoo

has no interests, but does have these requirements for his ideal partner

at least 18 years old


Relationship sought: Pen Pal or Friendship with a Female
Long-term Relationship with a Female

sume body that lickes me for me and not what thay lick me to be and i wont them to be honest

PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU, WORLD this can not be the only type of guy who is out there

Now playing:
emiliana torrini - sunnyroad
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Thursday, August 02, 2007

by now, we should all be aware of the lovely aleisha winning big brother 2007. hooray. although, here in our household, we were going for zach

x: some people in my class are saying that zach is G A Y
me: gay?
x: nods
me: well, he is
x: but i dont understand?
me: being a gay boy means you like other boys
x: but...i like other boys
me: yes, but, do you want to kiss them?
x: no
me: well, zach wants to kiss them
e: (singing and marching around the hallway) i wanna kiss boys! i wanna be gay!
me: sweetheart, if you want to be gay and kiss boys, thats fine with me, but if you dont, i dont recommend walking around school saying that
x: (with tears in his eyes) its just not fair mum. no one should be teased just because they are different than another person

there are sometimes shining moments when i know im being a good mum

Tuesday, July 31, 2007