Wednesday, September 26, 2007

worth a big dollar

after much discussion, it was decided that the tooth fairy must put a sleeping spell on the whole house before she comes inside. otherwise, someone might wake up and see her. in putting the entire house to sleep, this ensures that cats are asleep too, and therefore will not pounce on the tooth fairy, thinking she's a bug

the tooth next to the missing one is wobbly too. ive been asked not to give him peanut butter sandwiches until it comes out because he pulls every nut out of his mouth, thinking its his tooth


Monday, September 24, 2007

at the cinema, jordans cinema

last night was my first visit to jordans cinema and i must say, i had a mighty good time. i've just noticed that the movie we watched isnt actually listed on the page. its was...dirty love? something like that? let me actually think and investigate...yes! i was right. dirty love and it was hilarious. with such lines as

oh my god. oh my god oh my god ohmygodohmygodohmy god

and my personal favourite: touch my bass, rebecca.

today, kirsty and i are hanging out and watching movies. im not sure which ones. im thinking singing in the rain, since i bought it and havent watched it yet. then later on we're picking up miffy and going to see december boys and eat cold rock. this is because WE are TEH AWESOMES!!1!!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

dear miffy and kirsty,

would you like to go to the movies with me on tuesday? im thinking tuesday because it is cheaper, and then we can get icecream from cold rock, yeah? double cookie dough, here i come. i just typed 'hear'. ridiculous. anyway, movies. im thinking hairspray, what do you think?
i also believe that we should see 'once'. but i dont think that's playing here yet. i shall investigate that though. or maybe we might be in the mood for a little bit of daniel radcliffe? i read an interesting article on him the other day. i emailed it to you, kirsty, but you never responded.
i shall quote from it

The handsome actor still remembers when - aged only 11 - he was accosted by a pretty fan wearing only a towel.

'I didn't know what to do. I was just discovering what everything was. I'd be up for something now,' laughs Daniel, who at 16 dated 24-year-old hairdresser Amy Byrne.

im going to get a t shirt made up - harry potter : up for some

love from carly

edit - i've just looked at the nova cinema website, and they have once, december boys and hairspray all playing there

Saturday, September 22, 2007


it was a beautiful day. miffy and i managed to get within 30 seconds of the church before we decided we had gone the wrong way, turned back, drove down some back streets, ended up back where we started, turned the corner, and 'look! people!' or 'paintball' as x heard me say.

i couldnt help singing the christian television association version of the lords prayer. where are those ads now?

e didnt want to go. and once we got there, he didnt want to be there. thankfully they were both extremely well behaved during the ceremony. even when e slid his way around a car in the gardens and covered his brand new white t shirt in dirt.

instead of going to the reception, miffy and i went to the pizza shop in mclaren vale and drank coke and ate pizza. then we looked in at browse in and save and got some beatles pictures, and then to the chocolate shop. it was a lovely day.

thanks for being my date, miffy. WE are awesome

Saturday, September 15, 2007

things that are great

"seth stole my imaginary girlfriend!"
getting cake mix on cooking mama
wagon wheels
fruit toast

Monday, September 10, 2007

i have a headache. oops, there i go again, being so selfish. its all about me. me me me.

um...there is a headache and its hanging around....shit, i was gonna say 'my head' but that, again, is all about me.

i know! sharyn went to ikea today. i wont say that i went with her, because that would be selfish, talking about me, so we'll just say that sharyn went to ikea today and bought some things. she had lunch there which consisted of a very tasty piece of garlic bread. and then she came home. what a lovely day sharyn had.

holly got voted off of australian idol for singing the gossip and having bad hair

miffy had her birthday party on saturday night at the cavern for dinner and gosh for dancing. very nice time was had by all. except for the part where miffy was spewing and when we got back to my car and noticed that some dickface had smashed into it. shit, not my car. um. a car. and i'm sure that the person who owns the car was not very happy about it.

dublin would be nice

Saturday, September 08, 2007

its september, how the hell did that happen?

ive had this arguement about my blog before - whether what i write on here is truth or whether it is lies. and as i said while i was in court, its truth. that is, except, when i write at the end of a post that what i have written is purely fictional. except that part, the 'what i have just written is purely fictional', that part is true. you know what i mean. if you cant distinguish between truth and fiction, i suggest you go and read something else. perhaps a little golden book. or maybe the messenger. both of these publications i read on a regular basis and both fill me with joy at the quaintness of our world.


perhaps you could read dooce? here's an excerpt

When we get out to the car Jon has pulled almost every remaining hair off his head, and goes on and on about how I am single-handedly messing up Leta’s education, that all of her teachers for the next 18 years are going to have to undo all the damage I’ve already done. Why? Because I taught her how to say crayon the right way. Not because of all that heroin I smoked during pregnancy. Or how I like to drop her on her head from the roof of the house. Interesting.
you know what? i might be going out on a limb here, im not sure, but...i dunno... i.dont.think.heather.actually.smoked.heroin.or.dropped.leta.on.her.head.from.the.roof.of.the house. call me crazy (crazy) (never gets old) but im thinking thats...possibly sarcasm? perhaps wit? maybe a shot at how saying one word different to other people isnt going to do as much damage to her life as smoking heroin while pregnant or dropping her on her head from the roof of the house?

next, i shall be doing a spot of free thinking, wherein i write without much thought. please read it. i really really hope that you do. and i really really hope you each find something in it for yourselves and others around you

throat is hurting - perhaps should stop smoking crack.....(bwaaahhahahahaa. sorry, is that joke getting old?)

in one way, im looking forward to the wedding im going to soon. will be cute to see the boys (unamed) in their little suits. will be lovely to see two people who love each other so much, get together forever. in other ways which are blatantly obvious to quite a few people, would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork (was that sarcasm? who knows! she's just so tricky)

only mentioned the other day how i dont care so much about a certain couple of people being together, and that seeing them didnt bother me in the slightest. as long as he keeps his dick in his pants, everything should be fine

i sped in my car, but i've never driven around for months with my children in the car, and not actually had a license....hmmm....

dinner tonight should be interesting.

ebay is hilarious

me and the kids cleaned the toy room, and next week i'll be getting some things from ikea (miffy, i love you) that they chose to store their toys in.

speaking of which, IKEA CATALOGUE!!


Friday, September 07, 2007

a request

there are some people who dont want me to write about my kids anymore

there are also some people who dont even want me to write about me

so here is my post for the day:

today was sunny

to let you get over that intense piece of writing, i shall send you over to ebay to look at some things i had laying around my house and didnt want anymore

off you go

Thursday, September 06, 2007

every night since sunday, as the boys are going to bed, i've told them to sleep as long as they like; they dont have to go to school in the morning. and every morning they've both gotten up, got dressed, asked for breakfast and headed off to school after a night of coughing and delirious talking about cards and how 'its just not fair' and how 'he really shouldnt do that, you know'.

2am on tuesday morning, the smaller one came into my room, pleading for a drink of water. he laid down beside me, asked again, sat up, coughed, covered his mouth, and somehow i had enough time to jump out of bed, move the heater, tip out the lemons, and pass him the bucket. i realise that last part makes no sense, but if you've been in my room, you'd understand.

after i cleaned the smaller one up, reasoned with him that he should sleep in his own bed because if he slept in mine, i'd get sick, and then who would look after him? i went back to bed to listen to the coughing again and tried in vain to get back to sleep. i had told him again that he should sleep for as long as he could and wouldnt have to go to school. he was happy with this. said thankyou, and coughed his way to slumber.

then the morning came. the bigger one gets up, gets dressed and laughs his way through toasted tv, the smaller one comes in to me

'ive been thinking'
'i have an excursion today...'
'...and you think you might like to go'

so off they went again for the second day.

when i picked them up from school yesterday, the big one had a letter from his teacher saying he'd been coughing all week and had a hard time concentrating, and perhaps it would be better if he stayed home the rest of the week. he nodded sadly and said that yes, he thought she might be right. so we headed off to bed that night, again, with the knowledge they could sleep as long as they want and didnt have to get up.

so what happens? 7 o'clock comes along and they're calling out to me, begging to get up. NO i said, you're sick, you're staying home. by 8 they were both up and dressed and asking for breakfast. the big one ate it all up and went outside to ride his bike and the smaller one stared into the general direction of the tv. he's not well, i thought.

you're staying home
no, i want to go
you're staying home
im fine mum, i want to go to school

so we're at school. i've replied to the letter from wednesday and informed the teacher to call me if she believes he should come home. the smaller one and i walk into his classroom and he brightens up as he shows his teacher his sharing...(oh, thats why he wanted to go) and she says to me 'he's not well'. and i say i know, but explain that they're both telling me every morning they want to go to school. we make a compromise. he does his sharing (admiral akbar, weequay, gonk droid, crepe suzette and mrs evergreen; the oldest toys in your house) and we leave.

i decide to check on the big one. its 930, he's probably fine, but just incase.

'hi, im x's mum' (he has a new teacher, first time i've met her)
'oh, yes, i got your letter. he's at the office, he wasnt feeling well'

so we're at the office, he's laying down in the sick bed, we get in the car and head home. i make them stay in bed until 12. smaller one calls out every half hour or so 'is it lunch time yet?!?!'
in the 47 minutes they've been out of bed, they've ridden bikes (x), scooters (e), stacked the scooter and grazed knee and elbow (e), eaten sandwhiches and drank juice. now they're playing star wars racer on nintendo 64.

they'll be at school tomorrow

and i was supposed to be going to ikea today!

Now playing: Dan Kelly and the Alpha Males - Summer Wino
via FoxyTunes

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


if you could kindly look to the right hand side of your screen you will see a list of links to blogs and other such sites i frequent. for a while now i've been clicking along and ignoring the ones that dont update. until today.

if you have been purged to the lower regions of my link column and feel this is undeserved, please let me know.
early morning conversations

e: mum?
me: mhm?
e: my willy....can it get married to your vagina?
me: no, no it cant
e: oh. is that because they're from the same family?
me: well...yes. also, body parts cant get married, you have to marry the whole person
e: did you know my willy is from melbourne?
me: oh? i thought it came with you when you were born
e: no.
me: i see
e: it lived in melbourne where it could look at the blue fish at the aquarium
me: right... and how did it do these things? live in melbourne, look at the blue fish (realised i shouldnt have asked this question as soon as it left my mouth)
e: well you see mum, when you poke its head out, it can see.
me: uhuh. ok. put it away now.
e: (settling back down next to me) before i had my willy i just wee'd out of a hole, but then i went to the shop at the hospital that sells bits of bodies, like, oh, you know, hearts and noses...
me: and willys?
e: yeah, and i bought my willy
me: how much was it?
e: a dollar, and i had a dollar, so i bought it
me: bargain
e: hey mum, you know your boobs?
me: yes, i do
e: they didnt always live in adelaide.
me: no? thats a surprise
e: one of them lived in melbourne, the other one lived in egypt
me: right. i think its time for you to get up now.

Now playing: The Lucksmiths - The Music Next Door
via FoxyTunes

Monday, September 03, 2007

its quite possible that in the next few days there will be someone who will be calling me a psycho. actually, im almost certain this will happen. i've heard it from their mouth before, so it wouldnt be a hard task to say 'oh, another psycho'. but really, if you're gonna promise nice and then deliver....well, ignoring me and being a right wanker, then you deserve to have your belongings sold on ebay.

so, if any of you are in the market for a quicksilver jumper, or some globe sneakers, or a nice pair of shorts...not sure of the brand name but im sure there would be one. i may not have heard of it, but then again, im not all that cool, am i.

aforementioned person has had fair warning of this outcome, and knows what needs to be done to stop it happening, but i just dont think its gonna happen. someone out there will get a nice new outfit, lucky you. if only it didnt take me being so sad to make you happy

Now playing: The Lucksmiths - The Fog of Trujillo
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, September 02, 2007

favourite lyrics

at the moment, apart from beautiful soko, i am enjoying yelling out some specific words from operator please, song about ping pong

i said LIAR!
i said CHEATER!

fun to jump and yell to

Saturday, September 01, 2007

i feel sad, my tummy hurts. i've spent the day listening to soko. i am in a complete man hating mood

i think the best course of action would be to go out and get drunk with miffy and ellyn

Now playing: The Whitlams - You Sound Like Louis Burdett
via FoxyTunes