early morning conversations

e: mum?
me: mhm?
e: my willy....can it get married to your vagina?
me: no, no it cant
e: oh. is that because they're from the same family?
me: well...yes. also, body parts cant get married, you have to marry the whole person
e: did you know my willy is from melbourne?
me: oh? i thought it came with you when you were born
e: no.
me: i see
e: it lived in melbourne where it could look at the blue fish at the aquarium
me: right... and how did it do these things? live in melbourne, look at the blue fish (realised i shouldnt have asked this question as soon as it left my mouth)
e: well you see mum, when you poke its head out, it can see.
me: uhuh. ok. put it away now.
e: (settling back down next to me) before i had my willy i just wee'd out of a hole, but then i went to the shop at the hospital that sells bits of bodies, like, oh, you know, hearts and noses...
me: and willys?
e: yeah, and i bought my willy
me: how much was it?
e: a dollar, and i had a dollar, so i bought it
me: bargain
e: hey mum, you know your boobs?
me: yes, i do
e: they didnt always live in adelaide.
me: no? thats a surprise
e: one of them lived in melbourne, the other one lived in egypt
me: right. i think its time for you to get up now.


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