Monday, October 30, 2006

fuggers, how i love thee

ive said before that i love the girls at go fug yourself. i will now present to you more evidence as to why they are so great.

put it away!

sure, they didnt make her do this, but they brought it to my attention, therefore i love them

i finished the boys christmas shopping

i hope they'll be happy
a hard promise to keep

Sunday, October 29, 2006

i cant lie anymore. i cant do it. im not happy. im not coping. 'call me if you need me' hearing your voice only makes it worse

Saturday, October 28, 2006

all week, x has been waking up at 6am or earlier. today he made it to 7 before he came in and spelled out an experiment he needed to do.

his notes say
steps for micstyre - top secret

it required a beaker, non carbonated spring water, and a teaspoon of 'food items'.

"whats food items?", i asked.
"oh, its just like, hmm, you know, like brown, kind of bits, like, chocolatey sort of mixture?"
"so you need a teaspoon of milo?"

the steps are
1. spring wartar
2. becker like cup
3. food items
4. stir
5. ceck it
6. study it
7. finished

he also needs supervision. i'll let you know the outcome.

then at 7:45, after i'd scooted him outside to think about the outcomes of his experiment, e came in to snuggle with me.

"you smell mum"
" i? what do i smell like?"
"you smell like 'i love you'"

sometimes i dont mind being woken up at all

Sunday, October 22, 2006

welcome to the world, i hope it doesnt suck too much for you

my beautiful baby cousin alison is in hospital tonight after giving birth to her first son, jett robert j.

hello baby boy

poor thing is in a humi-crib. jett, i mean, not al, cos he was so stressed they had to emergency cesarian him and he lost oxygen so he turned a lil bit blue. but hes 8 and a half pounds, and if all things are right with this world, he should be screaming and feeding and cuddling in no time. poor little bugger was so exhausted he couldnt even cry.

i'm going to see them later in the wwek. i'll bring back photos
stupid cupid

sometimes all you need is a little help from a faerie. now, see me up there in my cupid getup? yeah, well, i didnt need to get the wings out or fly the love hearts around last night. all i had to do was put pen to paper and, with the help of sandi, prove to two people that they really were meant to be.

bek and mick? this ones for you.

apparently they met at the cranka in august. know how i know that? mick showed sandi the text that bek sent him the day after, saying how nice a time she had. see that? HE KEPT THE TEXT MESSAGE! sweetness, much? sandi and i came across bek when we couldnt keep it to ourselves how gosh darn cute she is. she got all coy and embarrassed in her own bek way, and proceeded to inform us that she has stupidly low self esteem which is INSANE because she is beautiful beautiful. so since then, we've been chatting and dancing, and we learn about mick. mick is CSI hat guy. know him? he is the loveliest of lovely, and the two of them are so dumb together its adorable. they dont rush at each other, they just dance around each other, making eye contact and dancing "together" across the room. then they'll cuddle and kiss.
i asked something about mick to bek and she said 'he's not my boyfriend, i wish!' and i thought, thats dumb, becaouse they clearly like each other. so after weeks of this, i decided to get answers.
borrowing dj ians request pen and list, i wrote a note that looked a little something like this

and didnt he get all coy and embarassed! (see how alike they are?) sandi took over from here, having a heart to heart with him, finding out that he absolutely adores her. and you know what? she absolutely adores him. funny about that.

so, the note is back in micks pocket. he's keeping it, of course, sentimental fella. and love is floating around the place like nobodys business. suddenly i turn around an brett is kissing emma.

excuse me what?


ha! that spells 'bike'. anyway, yeah. bret is kissing emma and if it isnt the sweetest kiss ive seen in my lfe. both me and sandi wanted to be the recipients of that kiss, it looked so lovely. there were cheers and hoorays abounding, but im a little concerned it was a kiss between friends that shouldnt really have happened. i hope everything works out for the best, whatever the best may be.

then i spy a nice enough looking boy. he's kinda cute. he comes up to us and asks us if we're eligable. for what? for that guy over there with teh blonde hair and white polo shirt. apparently he thinks its time he settled down with a nice girl. not a blonde slutty bimbo. 'like the girl he picked up the other week?' i ask....'exactly' he says. unfortunately i have to turn down his offer. i thank him for considering us though, very thoughtful. see, i've made eye contact with this boy before. not for any real reason, just cos i was looking around at people, as i like to do. and he made this 'totally not interested and as if i would ever be interested in you' face. so no, sorry nice polite gay boy, im not interested in your friend.

lastly comes...i cant even remember his name. i didnt hear it properly to begin with to be honest.he looked rather like this

except with a black tshirt. he smiles at i kinda smile back, cos im polite and stuff. later in the night he ends up next to me.
'hi, im sdalshshf*'
'and you are?'
'i know this is going to sound really lame but, you look really familiar'
'hmm...k....well, where do you live?'
'new south wales'
'i see...well, i live in adelaide, so it cant be that'
'what do you do?'
'im a librarian'
'oh, well thats not that bad'
', its not bad at all...i actually quite like it...'
walking away now.....

what sort of conversation was that?

at 4am, after jigging to a weird al polka, sandi and i travelled home. there was a bright light over the hills. ' i wonder whats going on over there?' i ask. 'dunno' says sandi, 'oh, i know, its the moon!'

actually, no, its not the moon.

its the sun

the sun is coming up as we drive along the expressway, and as i crawl into bed, my room has already started to take on a blueish tinge. i'll wake up in 7 hours, to the bright lights of the midday sun

*not actual name
**kirsty believes i should have answered 'not interested'

Thursday, October 19, 2006

"EEEEEOWWWFFTZ!"said Scarface Claw.
after a day and a half out the back of my house, i took the nasty feral cat to the rspca. i do feel bad that its going to die..i mean, be euthanased, but its messing with my baby pusscats and that just cant happen.
im hoping that they desex it and it calms down, but i just dont think it will. apart from the fact it was probably shit scared/angry that it was in a cage, i made sure it had food and water, and was out of the weather and comfortable, and the thing kept spitting at me and throwing itself around the cage like it was crazy.
i took it up to the desk and the lady took one look at it and called someone, asking for help getting a feral cat out of a cage. i dont think there's much hope for it, really.

according to the people in the street, it was left here 3 or 4 years ago and has been living around the place ever since. when i was moving in, tom was here on his own one day and heard a noise at the back door. he opened it up and the black cat walked right in like it owned the place. and maybe one day it did, but now my pusscats live here and i cant have them standing in the doorway in fear of being raped anymore.
so i've done a service to the community. im sure it wasnt just my cats that were being terrorised.

i still feel bad though

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


i have a blog where i post my writing. ie, not dribbling crap i post here. i havent updated it in a long while, but today i decided to check out my webtracker and see what sort of people are looking at my stuff.

Last 20 Searchengine QueriesUnique Visitors
10 Feb, Fri, 06:12:32 MSN Search: fell walking hats pictures
11 Mar, Sat, 04:25:28 MSN Search: brutally honest game questions
22 Mar, Wed, 16:09:40 MSN Search: how to get rid of pillow creases on face
30 Apr, Sun, 07:09:43 Google: "i dont want to hold you down" + landing
04 May, Thu, 05:54:05 Google: he stares deep into my eyes what does this mean?
15 May, Mon, 02:45:46 MSN Search: grandmas sex diaries
16 May, Tue, 02:06:10 Yahoo: how to apply eyeshadow for night time with pictures
18 May, Thu, 00:10:05 MSN Search: funny words
24 May, Wed, 16:35:34 MSN Search: inside her
30 May, Tue, 09:34:13 Google: "it was all just a game"
01 Jun, Thu, 12:30:27 Google: "touch my" + "her breast against"
07 Jun, Wed, 22:19:40 Google: sun hurting eyes through window
24 Aug, Thu, 06:37:30 Google: the bottom of my eyes seem to sink in but arent dark
25 Aug, Fri, 14:05:12 Google: "kicked her shoes off
02 Sep, Sat, 17:14:35 Google: link:
22 Sep, Fri, 18:24:02 Google: "I DONT WANT TO HOLD YOU DOWN"

rightio then
if she wants me

I said goodbye to someone that I love
It’s not just me, I tell you it’s the both of us
And it was hard
Like coming off the pills that you take to stay happy

belle and sebastian

Monday, October 16, 2006

i fear im in danger of becoming an idol blogger. so, instead, i'll fill you in on whats going on at the moment.

today i shall be moseying on down to the council chambers to vote no. i havent been paying a hell of a lot of attention to what im voting no too, cos, to be honest, anything more than a page long with no breaks in it hurts my brain and i cant get it to sink in, let alone to make anything that even resembles sense. all i know is that if i vote yes i'll be getting an extra $300 a year, but its possibly over three years, and they'll take away my tea breaks.
not exactly.
here, i'll explain:

you're allowed to have a 15 minute tea break in the morning. but only if you take it at your desk. and only if you work through it.
cant wait for when they brin in wee breaks.

also, i need to pick up a cat cage so i can catch the mother fucker thats terrorising my pusscats. son of a bitch is going down.

tomorrow im getting my hair cut at hairhouse warehouse. i normally get my hair done...well, by me in the shower, or at the colour bar, but HHWH were giving out showbags that had scratchies in them and sandi won a free hair cut, so im trying them out. i'll let you know how i go. i havent seen a coffee machine or a massive big screen television with movies, but they do appear to have massaging chairs at their sinks.
then i'll go visit sandi and bring her some food.

wednesday, thursday and friday i shall be working. on one of these days i hope to recieve a mixed tape from the guitarist from krystapinczh. please gus, make your bands name just a little bit harder to spell, k? cos i dont think its actually hard enough yet.

saturday, sandi and i will be doing whatever the hell we want cos we dont have any kids. YAY! are there any bands playing/parties that we should know about happening on saturday night?
we'll be at the cranka afterwards, but sandi is getting old and is finding it hard to leave for somewhere at 11:30pm. i, on the other hand, feel like i'll get even more tired if i go out dancin/drinkin beforehand, but we'll see
texts between personwhosnameimustnevermention and i during idol last night

me: (following deans performance) how could you not want to fuck that, seriously
personwhosnameimustnevermention: ppffft! he's perfect for this slut show. i reckon youd have to wait til mark holden is done with him

personwhosnameimustnevermention: (following lisas performance) no comparison! shes an angel
me: oh, i agree totally. she is beautiful and i may even buy her album as well as deans. dean is angelic too, but i bet he can be a my pants!

i feel like dancin...dancin...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

a busy week or so

so, the snake enclosure at work started leaking today . that was pretty exciting. i also got to catch a huntsman and put it outside.

last night sandi and i went to see josh pyke, jen cloher and princess one point five. beautiful beautiful beautiful. one day i'd like someone to write a song about me, like josh pyke writes about people.

bevis had a baby boy, named sweetums.

my cousin is having a baby any second now.

i ordered lots of stuff off ebay and etsy. my new favourite thing is this tshirt

i made some girl mad at me.

and its stupidly hot.

saturday night i'll be at the crown and anchor again. i wonder what gems i'll pick up this weekend

Monday, October 09, 2006

not actually an idol blog

look at this gem i found on the australian idol forums

in a ridiculous time wasting joke thread, someone commeneted that dean should be disqualified for his gymnastics last night. oh, how the hilarity followed:

It was not gymnastics theme night. He should not have done a backflip because that is cheating and know one else was allowed. Next week he'll start doing the Pommel Horse if someone doesnt put a stop to it.

excuse me...he was under supervision by the choreographers and he is experienced...no1 else has tried or askd 2 do 1 hav dey...not that dey cood haha... n ma bro iz kylez friend from the show and no1 has a rulebook except for mark. and your stupid no backflips in not in de book. itz jus lyk sayin no backflips for dean, no rnb moves for lavina, no standin still for bobby, no jumping round for ricky, no cute smiling from damien, no screaming from chris, no charming from lisa, no high notes for dont go making stupid posts when you dont know ANYTHING...just cause your old n find it hard 2 stand up dun critisize dean for hiz talents!!! go rickii n dean 2nyt...good luk...

uh hu



thirdly, and more importantly, back to my usual grown up charm, on saturday sandi saw a guy and said that she thought he was spunky. so i yelled 'sandi wants to kiss you' at him. i am so great, what a helpful friend.

next, i will share an incident from saturday night at the cranka

a month or so ago a guy came up to dance with me and at the time, i thought 'great!' cos sandi was pashing some guy, and his geeky mate was trying to dance with me and i didnt want to dance with geeky mate, so i danced with this sideburns guy. we just danced, and then he went away, and geeky man and his mate went home, so everything was all good. then saturday night, sideburns is there again, and he's looking at me, and im thinking he remembers me from the dancing so i smiled and then kept dancing. but then everytime i looked around his way, he was looking at me again. even going so far as to push his girlfriend to the side after she kissed him.
so he walks past behind me and slides his hand across my back, then turns around and looks back like hes waiting for me. i stayed and danced. about 10 minutes later he does it again except this time he grabs my hand and pulls me out to the bar. so we're standing there and he's holding my hand, and staring at me, saying
'what is it with us? what is it...this connection we have?'
and i said 'hmm, well...i dont know really, but i do know that i saw you kissing a girl just before'
'mmmm...yeah...that would be my girlfriend'
'its just not fair'
'oh well'
'its just that you're'

and then at this point sandi comes in dancing like a nong and hands me a glass of water 'just making sure you're hydrated'

'are they your friends?'
'its just not fair....'
'you know what i think?'
'i think you should go and dance with your girlfriend'
'its just that you're'
'so what?'
'so hot!'
and i laughed and laughed and laughed and told him to go dance with his girlfriend so he walked off and turned around with a big pouty sad face.
see how im a good girl? i could have so easily been the naughty girl, letting him kiss me, but no.

it doesnt feel good to be in the girlfriends position

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

my turn - idol

apart from my hearditherefirst expose about how dean wants to do rude things with me, i've kept pretty quiet about australian idol this year.
since i cant think of anything else to write about, and since im not as clever with the words as some people* i'm going to give you my idol opinion.

first up, i love a singing and dancing show.

there is nothing quite like it. actually, there really was nothing quite like young talent time, was there? man, i loved that show. i was so going to be on young talent time. aaah well, a girl can dream. maybe one day.

anyway, singing and dancing shows? all good. the problem with this one though, is that they're looking for a specific thing. they're looking for someone they can mould, someone who will sing the songs that they want them to. wear the clothes, say the right things. this is why, although casey donovan won, you dont hear from her anymore. she didnt do as she was told. this of course, is only a guess, but its what i think.

therefore, here are my predictions for this years idol

ricky - too weak. he tries hard, bless his little cotton socks, and he wants it. he wants it and i'd say he'd be willing to do anything for it. while this is a good thing as far as the judges are concerned, most especially creepy holden, i dont think australia will vote for him. little aussie battler, yes, australian idol winner 2006? no.

and he wears slacks

lavina- having her sister in the competition last year isnt going to do her any favours, but at least she doesnt cry after every song. i dont like her though. i think she's a good singer. shes good at what she does. i just dont think shes an idol

and she has tattoos and wears corsets. maybe shes into bdsm. i dont think australia will go for that

dean- mmmmm, dean, mmmmmm

lets look at more dean

wasnt that nice?

i dont want dean to win. he writes his own songs already and he's good looking enough to do it on his own. he can also do things with me.

im too sleepy to finish now. i have to go to work tomorrow. as if i cant just be a lady of leisure, sheesh

damien - i like damien. and damn if he isnt getting a lil bit spunkier each episode. did you notice how i said 'episode' and not 'performance'? that was clever of me. i am kindacleverwiththewords. i think the problem with damien is that people forget his name. they just call him 'the irish one' which i dont think icounts when you vote for him. he'll get to the final 3 or 4 though, i think

named his son jarvis, hehe, cute

incidentally, theres a possum on my roof. true story

moving right along

chris- chris should have his own show. he cracks me up no end. he's also a pretty darn good singer. again though, he has his own band already and i dont think he would be happy singing songs written by mark holden. he could stand up for himself better than a lot of the others, but in the end he'd have to do what he was told and i think this would break his heart a little bit

how can you not laugh?

lisa- lil lisa. aint she just the cutest? well, i personally think shes a bit of a scamp and knows how to work her cute. i dont want her to win. i think she neds to record her own stuff, perhaps on john butlers label, and put it out there herself. she doesnt need to be sucked in and spat out of the idol machine. its already starting.

here she is, all sweet and country girl like at the auditions

and here she's been let loose in supre and will soon be on the cover of dolly magazine

just let her do her own stuff, please.

bobby- bobby is great. i cant say anything else about him. he wont win, and he shouldnt win, for the same reasons as lisa shouldnt, and for the same reason as chris - it would break his heart
go here and download bobby singing 'when the war is over' and tell me he's not amazing. he doesnt need idol. i still get goosebumps listening to that song.

and lastly we have little baby jess- this is who should win idol. she has the talent, she has the looks. but as well as that she is young enough and mouldable enough to do it. and she could happily do it for 2 or 3 years until she comes into her own and starts doing what ever it is she truely wants to do with music. and it could well be making idol records, and thats fine, cos she'd be good at it.


so thats my entirely well researched idol stuff. this sundays episode is disco themed.

i fear dean will not make it to the guitar night.

he is singing gloria estefan.

bye dean, see you in bed

*you are socleverwiththewords

Monday, October 02, 2006


adrian says:
its all so incestual.
adrian says:
but in a bad way