Tuesday, December 30, 2003

if you're not pissed off at the world, then you're not paying attention - kasey chambers

Monday, December 29, 2003


i really wish that everything that was in my head would just work its way down my neck, to my shoulders and start pouring out of my fingers onto the keyboard and somehow end up in here in some semblance of order

yes, that is what i wish

Sunday, December 28, 2003


merry christmas everyone. i hope you had a lovely day. mine was busy busy busy, and i got very full

and would you have a look at what matty got me. thankyou pinaroo!!! thankyou for not liking original milo bars so much that matt could get a whole box full for me for christmas. pinaroo, you rule.

a lot of people have been blogging lately about how crappy this year has been, and yeah, it has been. but i think i'd like to focus on any good things that might happen.

yep, a lot of things have ended this year, and in their place i am going to start some new things

start sticking up for myself
start doing better for myself as a person, not just a mum
stop eating so much crap...she says, munching on a milo bar, hey, its still 2003
learn to accept that as much as it has been drummed into me, i am not selfish
be braver
go for better roles in plays
do a live performance with humblebee

i hope your 2004 is all you hope it will be...just dont get your hopes up too high, ok?

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

love between species

look at his face, he's just got some....look at her face, all shy and coy...we know what she's been up to...

Monday, December 22, 2003

ok, i admit it

the main reason i bought detroit rock city was because i am still teenagerly in love with edward furlong. look at that pic...is he not shaggy and spunky and hot??? yes, yes he is

i fell in love in 1991 when i saw him in terminator 2. i didnt hear the whiney little boy voice then, all i saw was a beautiful beautiful boy who i knew would love me. i then saw what i at the time, voted as the best movie ever, pet semetary 2. and yes, i was even more in love.

after growing up a bit, and harbouring my secret crush, i let it out and admitted to watching terminator 2 on tv purely for the eddie involvement. i also thoroughly enjoyed pecker, which i watched first out of the three john waters movies sean and holly sent for us, because he was in it.

so theres really no surprise that i bought detroit rock city. it was only $12 as well, so that makes it even better.

and, its a really funny movie

yeah, im a still a teenager, rock!
i know i ask for a lot...

my car broke on saturday night :(

i really dont have much luck with cars. i had a beautiful 1970 morris 1300. it was tamarisk green....so cute. it started to break and started to cost lots to repair so we sold it. i was so sad. we bought me a 1990 hyundai excel. i've never liked it, maybe it knows that.

saturday night it overheated on the way to the city. we left it, went out for a bit, came back, put water in it and started driving home.

it overheated again.

then made some very VERY loud knocking noises that didnt sound great at all.

we called the RAA and the guy said there was no way in hell we'd be driving it home, especially all that way. we ended up getting towed.

we waited 2 hours for that, from 2:30 - 4:30 am. yes, we were tired. so much so that we wondered out loud about how we were glad it wasnt hot/raining/cold/snowing/flowing with lava/flooding/tornadoing etc.

the funniest comment of the night:

sharyn : that guy across the road has a big wet patch on his back
carly : maybe his mate was doing him and pulled out to cum on his back
favourite...well, one of

whenever it's on tv, i *have* to watch it, and i will laugh and laugh and laugh, no matter how many times i've seen it


how much do i love this movie???

i used to love it because of keanu reeves and joaquin phoenix, but then i grew up, and now i love it because of how much i relate to it. my kids butt things with their heads, overreact to everything and cry, stick up for each other, are generally bizarre.

some things i love....

"You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car -- hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

uh huh

Julie: I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!

Karen: He likes to butt things... with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.

Karen: Do you really have to go?
Gil: My whole life is "have to."

Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.

Saturday, December 20, 2003

i should be in advertising

new slogan for a tv campaign advertising laxatives...

i thought i was just feeling shitty, till i realised i needed to do one

Friday, December 19, 2003

sean says:

i like hearing about your dreams... they're usually disturbing
in some fashion
and always interesting
much like you as a whole
why that's your very ethos, i'd say

disturbing in some fashion but always interesting
not my forte

well, i got my letter about forum today.

i'm in

i get to be the vaccuous one

Philia: Still a virginal girl, the beautiful and young, yet dumb, Philia none the less belongs to Lycus and is a courtesan-in-training, already contracted to be sold to Miles Gloriosus. She and Hero, however, are in love; and Hero has enlisted Pseudolus to get her for him. In the end the day is saved by the revelation that she is the sister of Miles Gloriosus who then nullifies his contract and allows her to go to Hero.

apparently i get a tad grumpy when im doing a production. well, all of you shitheads who think i get grumpy can just fuck off and make like a tree and leave.


make like a tree and leave, i love back to the future

so yeah. i have to sing, *and* i get to kiss a gay boy. how many of you out there are jealous of me now??? all of you, thats how many. you all know how much you wann kiss a gay boy and i get to do it, ner to all of you, ner ner ner!

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Congratulations! You're Pippin!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

wooohoo, i always liked pippin
a proper thankyou

over the last few weeks some pretty heavy stuff has been going down in my life.
it's stuff i should have dealt with a long time ago, but im only strong enough now.

in 1991 my mums boyfriend moved in. i don't remember a lot about him. he worked at a tyre place. he once drove me and my brothers around and around a round about for fun. i remember him filleting fish on our back porch. they are really the only normal memories i have of him.

i have more.

these aren't normal memories. these are memories that people shouldn't have to have. people should be able to look back at being 13 and think about having fun with their friends, hanging out looking at boys, writing in your diary and singing to your favourite songs. i did all that too, but there was always that other part, the secret part, that tainted everything, and still does now.

mums boyfriend molested me

although there was no *actual* sex, ie penis in vagina, there was enough of everything else.
when it was happening i never told anyone. i often thought, for some reason, about running up the road to the fire station, or perhaps to the ambulance, never once did i think about the police. i don't know why. maybe if i told the police then it was really happening to me.
i managed to get on with my life and do all the normal 13 year old things, and 14, and 15, until at 15 my boyfriend wanted to have sex with me.
it brought it all back up, and i had to tell him about it. he'd be the first person that i told.

once i told phillip, it was easier to tell other people. it opened the flood gates i suppose, and i told sharyn, my best friend, and my other close friends. everyone was really supportive, and we formed a small army that vowed to kill him if it was needed.

since then, i think i've told almost all of my boyfriends who i had sex with. everyone has reacted the same way. upset that it happened, but there for me, and that has been great. but i've never felt the powerful urge to go to the police as much as i have this last year.

after i had my boys, i started to freak out in public places, thinking that i had seen him. i'd only ever had this once before. i'd freeze and my legs would go weak and i would feel as if i would fall to the floor in a puddle.

i needed to be strong for them. i didn't want them to have to see that someone could hurt their mummy so much. they needed me to be brave, and fun.

so i called the police, i told them what he did to me. not what i did, or what happened, what he did to me, because that's what it was. none of this is mine, its all his, and i need to give the blame back to him and start to live my own life without this shit hanging around me. cos its not my shit. it's his shit. no matter how many prettily wrapped parcels he gave me, they were always full of black shit that i kept having to wear, to carry around on my 13 year old shoulders.

now i am giving it back

the police are looking for him, they're looking all over south australia, and they've been really great about it

i feel taller and cleaner already

so i wanted to say thankyou to everyone for being there for me and for encouraging me, and giving me strength. *someone* wrote a thankyou over there in my tagboard, but this one is the one really from me.

new story idea

she eyed her target up and down one last time before approaching him.
'you wanna do it?'
he was taller than she was, darker too. olive skin to her vanilla and he smelled like dessert.
she took his hand and lead him to the back, to the smaller room where couples and triples writhed and kissed. she sat him down and nestled her way onto him.
it was over in less than 5 minutes and she remembered him as cake...

dear diary
had some cake. nice taste. may go back for seconds.

little miss organized

matt : you only have one tea bag left
carly : that'd never happen
matt : well, there only one left in the tin?
carly opens the cupboard
carly : 350 tea bags in storage....i'll never run out

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

more things for me

or you could buy them for yourself or someone you like.....sean has the list of ones i want...you can get them off him, or i can email them to you :P

btw, no one has emailed saying they want a cd. this is your last chance. well, today and tomorrow, cos im going to the post office on thursday

Monday, December 15, 2003

its hot

but i have lemon gelati, so im ok

Sunday, December 14, 2003

hey, i like that black shit

"The Breakfast Club is one of my favorite movies. I wanted to be Ally Sheedy's character from the very first time I saw it, except not get turned into a prep at the end. And I loved Judd Nelson, not Emilio" holly

u huh. i've suggested that we do 'the breakfast club' next year with young opus. i wanna be allison (ally sheedy). i already know all her lines so it'd be easy.

i was pissed that they changed her into an 80's preppy popular girl too. she looked cool with her shaggy hair and loads of black clothes. although, she does look cute when molly ringwald puts that head band on her and her cute hair goes all spikey and stuff... cute.

anyway, yeah

at the last young opus meeting i put forward the idea that we should change the name of our group, mainly so that i could still be a member. im already 3 years too old for it as it is. i thought 'a bit on the side', since we're an off-shoot of opus, and i think it was vicki who came up with 'side dish' which i think is a very catchy name. yes.

you know what i like about those google ads up there ^ ? i like the fact that they're related to my blog, and even though i know it doesnt happen this way, i like to think that theres some guy out there reading my posts and saying, ooh, she wrote about the faraway tree, i'll put a google ad up there for that, she'll like that.

makes me think that theres still some people out there who care
today was kinda hard...

but i had three subway cookies, so that made me better
it's not the end of the web!

recently i have been complaining about how bored i am with the internet. i boot up my computer, connect to my crappy dial up, check my email, my blog and everyone's blog thats on my links, i check ebay, and thats it. thats the end. i feel like i need to press eject turn the tv off.

i found a new site and im ever so chuffed. it's pretty, and girly and cool and she thinks like me....perhaps im in love....

i just get so happy when i find a new place to visit. it makes me excited and hoppy and i need to tell everyone about it. ive already visited lots of her links, and thought, yeah! i want one of those butterfly mobiles from that cool online store. but, alas, im not spending $50 on postage for an $7 mobile. while i'm asking for things, i would also like this.

i'm making a cd at the moment for my secret FOW for the annual christmas swap. i'm pretty happy with it so far. if anyone else would like one, just email me and give me your address. if i knew how, i'd make that a link, but i dont, so you'll just have to click over there ->
sean and/or holly, you've probably heard all these songs already, but i'll make you one if you really want one.

Friday, December 12, 2003

my favourite book - or political correctness gone too far

when i was younger i had quite a collection of books, and i read them over and over and over again. enid blyton was one of my favourites. mostly because, and im not sure why, i had this orphan fascination, and enid blyton had a few orphans, or only children, or kids left to their own devices, in her stories.

the folk of the faraway tree was my most favourite of all. i dont know how many times ive read about jo, bessie, fanny and connie. ive recently finished reading it to x and he loved it as well. it had him thinking about trees and faeries and using his imagination rather than playing nintendo.

so how pissed off do you think i get when i find out that the original 4 kids, jo, bessie, fanny and dick, (the spoilt cousin) have had their names changed so they fit better in todays society?

jo is now joe, bessie - beth, fanny - franny, and dick - rick. also, because corporal punishment is not so ok now, dame slap is now called dame snap. i'm surprised they didnt take those chapters out completely.

dame wash-a-lot washes all the time. isnt that a bit sexist to have a female character that stays home and does the washing al the time?

what about moonface? that name is a bit mean, dont you think? just because he has a rather large head, doesnt mean you should call him that.

and silky, the lovely little faerie silky. its well known that she has a soft spot ofr moonface. could it be because she *has* to say that on account of moonface being her pimp, and loaning out pretty silky to all his friends. that squirrel with the red jumper is his little messenger boy, it all makes sense.

saucepan man is just like a bum with his trolley full of plastic bags, and really, they arent all that nice to look at so we should take him out of the story all together.

whatsizname forgets his name all the time, so is quite obviously suffering from alzhiemrs. thats quite nasty to tease an alzhemers sufferer. we should give him a name and more say in the story.

the angry pixie is just outright rude. he throws ink al over connies lovely party dress so he should be out. connie, she's just a prissy little whiner so she can get out as well.

and while we're at it, why dont we cut down the tree and build a superhighway and a shopping centre. inside the shops we can sell plastic replicas of the tree and make billions.



Wednesday, December 10, 2003

dear john,

i just have to let everybody know of my undying love for john cusack

we watched high fidelity again the other night, and man, if i dont want to fuck that guy silly i dont know what i want to do.

so john, if you're reading this, you're invited to my house anytime you like

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

edging nervously to centre stage

why is it that people have such higher expectations of me than i do of myself? how come people think i am capable of things that im really, honestly, not?

i auditioned for OPUS's production of a funny thing happened on the way to the forum today. its a musical (put that theing back where it came from or so help me....sorry, monsters inc intrusion), and, as you would remember from the last musical i did, and the last one i auditioned for, and as vicki would put it 'singing is not my forte'. so how come harry gets me to read for the lead girl? is it because im 'beautiful but vaccuos'? or because he expects more of me than i can give?
i'm an individual! ...you cant fool me

walking up rundle street on friday night i saw a girl leaning against a pillar. she had short black hair in a 'punk' style, messy and all that. she was wearing a short plaid skirt, pink opaque tights, boots, and a green army shirt with an array of badges on it. she also had a black wrist band with spikes on one wrist and a black sweat band on the other wrist.

i shook my head slightly

'kids,' i thought with a sigh, and walked a couple more steps when i noticed another girl. similar in every-single-way. her skirt was green plaid instead of red, her tights were fishnets instead of opaque, but she was *the same*

oh my, the scowl these two gave each other was nasty. nasty i tell you.
how dare someone copy my original style! its screamed, i am the one and only true punk rocker girl in the world, the rest of you are just imitators.

dear me....again, i shake my head and sigh a little...kids

oh, btw, i bought matt a black wrist band with a pink skull on it for christmas :P

Monday, December 08, 2003

Sunday, December 07, 2003

you asked for it

because i am such a lovely girl, i have updated my wish list at torrid and added some knickers for your viewing pleasure.

have fun, and buy buy buy!

meheheeee, i love presents

Saturday, December 06, 2003

you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday, December 05, 2003

those chickens are organised

i think they're trying to win me back. i checked my letterbox today, and theres a little magazine from nestle with recipes and ideas for the holidays, and a free sample of milo.

wont catch me eating a new milo bar though, try your hardest nestle

Wednesday, December 03, 2003


im sorry about my outburst yesterday. things havent been great inside and outside my head lately. i'm trying to sort myself, and i will, you just may have to put up with the occasional spazz attack that seems to fly from my fingers at times.

thanks for understanding

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

so fucking sick of it

i've really just had enough of everybodys crap and self serving sookiness. feel sorry for me! help me! fuck, help yourself you sad little people. DO SOMETHING. i am not the root of all evil, i am not the designer of al of your problems, nor am i a provider for more. if you have a problem with me, go away from me or get over it. im not about to change myself, the way i am, the way i think, the way i talk, to suit your idea of what is right and good in the world.

Sunday, November 30, 2003


im all kinds of pleased and chuffed and happy and smiley....i have made it on to the *required* reading list of dan golden.

for a while now i have been *suggested* reading. i was happy enough* with that. fair enough, really. sometimes i write some stuff that is kind of alright, and i guess sometimes you could suggest to people that they take a squizz at my blog and see what they think.

*happy enough. this is because while i was only suggested reading, a certain someone else was *required* reading. now, i dont really have anything against this person as such, although i know of other people who do, it's just that i couldnt see how her writing was any better or different than mine. yeah, ok, i whine a lot, but doesnt everyone from time to time....aaaaw, one big happy family....

moving right along

im pretty sure that dang is the only person apart from people who i actually know that has me linked on their blog. wow. i should give you a present or something, dont you think? let me know what you'd like...

see, me, im all smiley and shy....thanks dang....one day you and me will go out on a date, k, and i promise you'll have a nice time, i might even kiss you goodnight

Friday, November 28, 2003

its only 365 sleeps till next halloween...... 364!

ok, not halloween though, and not 364. its 27 days until christmas, and im just wondering if any of you have clicked on the 'buy me stuff' link over there ---> and...well...bought me stuff? i'd be very much appreciative :)
are you trying to tell me something?

my computer is less than spectacular. i was excited when i first got it because i thought it would be so much better than my old one. and it was, for like, a week or something. until it began to be s l o w and annoying. pages decide not to open, all the time. it freezes and shuts down all my programs, and also, i get about a bazillion pop ups.

i installed the google search bar which is supposed to stop popups. and it does, to a certain extent. so far its been working for about a month i guess, and its only blocked 82 popups. i still get them from schoolfriends, a miscellaneous popup with 4 options for me to click on, and lose weight fast.

lose weight fast.

every day, every new window i open, i have to close 'lose weight now, ask me how!'. now, i know im not *small*. but by no means am i so extra large that i need to be reminded of it time and time again over the course of the day.

i'll have you know, popupsenders, that i wore a t shirt the other day that was a size 10. yes, 10! take that!

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

ok, i'll try a little harder, just for you

well, its been more than a bit fneh lately.

i guess if you looked around through the blogs of certain people i have linked, you could probably piece together whats going on. and frankly i'd prefer it if you did it that way cos i cant be bothered going over it again. lets just say fneh and leave it at that.

also, its the last young opus this sunday, which is pretty sucky, but i've just found out that i might be able to be in the beach road christmas pageant. wahoo!
i always wanted to be in the pageant. i'd still like to ride nipper, but i reckon im probably about 20 years too old for that now.
im actually considering asking tim if he could get me a job at savings and loans. once you work for them, you get to be in the big pageant. so yay. but personwhosnameimustnevermention said that he doesnt think they'll hire me purely for the fact that i want to be in the pageant. he's probably right.

apparently theres a nasty head monster going around the place and infecting 4 year olds dreams. could you please go away and leave x alone? it would be greatly appreciated


Saturday, November 22, 2003

angela fucking drewer

so i called up for the annie auditions

A: angela drewer...
C: hi angela, it's carly whittaker here....
A: i've been trying to call you all day, you know, whats wrong with your phone?
C: um, nothing...well, ive called you back now, so now you dont have to worry
A: yes....so you'd like to audition for annie?
C: yes i would, and also my friend vicki
A: alright then, well there are 2 spots available, monday night at 9:40 and thursday night at 9:40
C: k

then she proceeds to tell me all about the show, all the info i need, yadda yadda yadda

C: ok then, well, i'll take the thursday night audition then, thanks
A: you already said you'd take monday
C: ...no...i cant make monday night, so i wouldnt have said it
A: i said the times and you said monday will be fine
C: no...
A: yes, you did, i think you're mistaken
C: fine, i'll get a baby sitter, i'll have monday

more mindless drivel...

A: have you seen any shows put on by us before?
C: no, i actually tried to get to the grease show, but i missed out on tickets. i was going to audition for grease as well, but i couldnt make the audition
A: well that cant be right because we had auditions over three days
C: yes, i know, but when i called all the times were taken except one that was in 20 minutes, and i couldnt get there in time
A: well thats not right because i wouldnt have made you come in 20 minutes
C: ...someone had just cancelled their time, so it was the only one available...
A: no, thats not right. you are mistaken. theres no way i would have made you come with that little notice.
C: no, thats what happened. i rang and you said someone had cancelled their time, but i couldnt make it so i didnt go
A: why would you make a time if you knew you couldnt make it?
C: i didnt make the time, i told you i couldnt make it
A: are you sure you spoke to me? are you sure you called the right place?
C: well, they told me all about the show...
A: no, you're mistaken, that wouldnt have happened. look, i think you should get your friend to call me about an audition time because you're obviously confused. this happened earlier when you said you'd take monday and then forgot...
C: fine, i'l tell her to call you
A: yes i think you'd better

fuck you bitch lady

i did it, i called the police

Friday, November 21, 2003

in other words, you dont give a fuck what i think

Dear Miss. Whittaker

Thank you very much for your contact and comments about MILO Bar.

We appreciate hearing from our consumers as your reactions to our products contribute to our decision-making. Unfortunately the old MILO bar is no longer available. All stocks are out in the market is there is any left.

However, we hope you will continue to use and enjoy our products and we will keep your thoughts on file for future reference.

Karen Andrews
Consumer Services Co-ordinator
Nestle Australia Ltd

could everyone go to nestle and email them about how the new milo bars suck? please???

Thursday, November 20, 2003


i am not a donkey.....yes, carly is a happy girl

well, they've gone.

sean and holly left in a taxi, bound for the airport, at 4am yesterday morning.

we had a really good time, i think. the three weeks went so quickly.

melbourne was cool. we went to chappel bizzarre, which i love. i got my new favourite snowglobe there. technically it isnt a snowglobe, as it looks like an old tv and is actualy a salt and pepper shaker, but it has an apple and a mountain in the 'screen' part, and it says tasmania, and its snowing. aaaaah..... i also got a bear who i named chappel. he's wearing blue jocks.

we drove home along the great ocean road. that was nice although it was raining the whole time prety much. we stopped at the normal spots like the 12 apostles. it was so windy. but we also stopped at this cool little place called the grotto. it was a rock formation on the coast and you climb down some steps to the shore and look out through this little cavern thing full of water and stones, out into the ocean. it was really pretty.

we also stopped at mount gambier and looked at the blue lake (which i took photos of...with a black and white film), and the underground garden thingo. and even though it was dark, we stopped at the big crayfish so holly could see it. everyone was mightily chuffed.

both sean and holly were stoked cos they got to see kangaroos hopping around in the feilds *and* they got to touch an echidna. we all touched the echidna, but personwhosnameimustnevermention got spiked by it. that boy is always going one step too far, silly personwhosnameimustnevermention.

so we got home....then what....gah, im not gonna do this in order.

we went to the zoo, which was really cool. saw some tiny baby meerkats and some giraffes, i love giraffes. we took sean through the reptile house and he had a bit of a freak about all the snakes. i was very proud of him for walking through though, he did a good job. we got hungry jacks for lunch so they could see if it was the same as burger king. it is, except the burgers arent squashed here.

we went to victor harbour and walked over to granite island. that was nice. had a yummy lunch there to and shopped at global village. coooool stuff there.

pageant! we went to the pageant. havent been in years. oh, just realised ive already written about that....moving right along

we went into the city so sean could get a tattoo. he got one of a kangaroo that i drew. the guy at the tattoo shop had to change it a bit, but its basically my drawing.. weird. we went into toys r us as well and holly got some new cabbage patch kid clothes. i bought the nightmare before christmas and the muppets christmas carol on video.

apart from that, we pretty much just hung out. it was cool. we drank a *lot* of alcohol and ate a *lot* of cheese and crackers.

it's weird not having them around. x asked me yesterday if they were here and when i said no he said... 'i miss them, because im sad'.
it's going to be strange talking to them online again. having to rely on typed words and crappy web cams to talk...they'll be back next year though...

...anyone else feel like visiting??
dear nestle,
honestly, i've tried the new milo bar again, and it really doesnt compare. it's absolutely different to the old one, so why dont you just make them both? milo bar original and milo bar whatever the hell it is you think it tastes like.
if you have any old milo bars left, could you possibly send them my way?
i really hope nestle dont own cherry ripes cos if they change, that'll be both my favourite chocolates gone.
have you actually tried the new one? compared them? i think you should, you'll see what i mean.


Monday, November 17, 2003


"Don't take this the wrong way, but girls are stupid," he tells me. He appreciated my wholehearted agreement.

So we decided that girls are stupid because they think too much when they should just act, and guys are stupid because they don't think when they should.

Now at this point I could ramble on and on forever about my philosophy about following my instinct instead of overthinking. But the bottom line is that I've started doing what makes me happy instead of what seems rational.

And you know what? I have never been happier.

Life is good. Complicated perhaps, but very, very good.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

ineradicable stain

I am writing about gloria Dawn. She was very frail and delicate and gossamery. She was my girlfriend I looked at her tender plump breastypoo's, nestling in the collar of her dress like peaches in a basket– just as rosy and soft– and I would want to nibble on them and devour her. (her bottom was pretty nice too)

Sunday, November 09, 2003

so, who missed me?

yeah, i know, slack. and it's even been pointed out to me in the den. over a week and NO entries. goodness gracious me.

well, i *have* been busy miss vicki pants.

we went down to port willunga so holly could see a sunset. stupid sean, not this sean, that sean (yawassid), didnt think to take her to see one when she was in california. feh.

so we were down the beach and it was all real nice and stuff. the kids* played in the caves (*read personwhosnameimustnevermention, sean, x and e), and we watched the sunset then drove home. what else....oh, we went to the zoo and i saw baby meerkats. yeah! tiny little things. so cute. hmm, that was a rather girly moment. i was pretty disappointed by the kids zoo. no sheep and goats head butting you for oats, just three deer. where did all the animals go??? i think my other favourite part was the giraffes. *and* sean got me a snow globe. yep, snowing at the adelaide zoo, just the way it's meant to be.

we've been down to christies beach and port noarlunga beach too. personwhosnameimustnevermention and sean went snorkelling, but im quite sure they were more impressed by the 2 fifteen year olds squeeling at the bottom of the stairs.

last night we went to personwhosnameimustnevermention's parents house and had this massive dinner. bbq'd yummies. and pavlova. and....thats all really. i was sleepy last night so i went to bed while everyone else stayed up and watched spaceballs.

oh! pageant! tahts right. we went to the pageant yesterday. it's been years since i've been to the pageant. i dont think either of the kids have ever been. e enjoyed it. x was his usual surly self. then i got to get my face painted by vicki. yay, that cheered me up cos lil carly got to pop out for a bit. illegal face painters, sheesh, i dunno. but she got to meet sean and holly and they all seemed to get along alright. even if vicki did start slipping into her american self.

so there you go.. a long awaited update of pretty much nothing. hope you enjoyed it and be sure to check in next time for some extra special bits of nothing, wahahey!

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

homophobia is rampant in noarlunga

apparently sitting next to each other in front of school children is promoting lesbian behaviour.

sunday was my first experience of homophobia. i wasnt as mad as i thought i would be, but i guess that may be because it didnt come directly at me. vicki and i were told via someone in the office of the theatre that she and i sitting next to each other was frightening the children, and they were afraid for them cos it was a dangerous place for them to be.

im sorry, but isnt it better for them to see two people, regardless of their gender, showing friendship and affection for each other than people yelling and fighting? or perhaps they'd prefer it if we stuck them infront of the tv for a while, or a mindless computer game?

i really hope my kids get to grow up seeing that no matter who people are, as long as they love each other, it's ok

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

and she was last seen at tullamarine, leaving on flight 17, it's the saddest thing that i've seen the mabels

well, we'll be at tullamarine airport tomorrow morning meeting sean and holly for the first time. i'm not realy freaking out, not yet anyway. i'm still procrastinating about getting the house ready and all my stuff packed. their room is ready at least, so we can always just blindfold them and lead them in there so they dont see the rest of the house.

i miss my boys. e's still hopping about the place like a little bird, but x left for kindy at 8:30 this morning and i probably wont see him till sunday.

i havent even brushed my teeth yet, thats how far behind i am today....


Monday, October 27, 2003

daylight savings.....

this is th last time i listen to matt when it comes to daylight savings. 'yeah, ' he says, 'you put the clocks backward because then you get an extra hour of daylight, and thats what its like in summer, more daylight'. ok then, i think, and, i change all the clocks. i'm now going to bed at 10 oclock, but thats fine, more time for reading, i say to myself.

the next day we're up early fixing up the house. we do gardening and cleaning and painting and all this stuff, and i'm thinking, wow, its only 11, we've done so much in so little time. then i get a message from vicki 'where are you? auditions start in 25 minutes!!!!'. nah, she's got it all wrong, its only 11, i've got aaaaaages yet before i have to be there. silly girl has set her clocks wrong. i message her back and tell her that, and then i ring up and ask what the time is.

at the third stroke it will be 1 0 7 and 30 seconds beep beep beep

i have to listen to this twice before it sinks in. no, i didnt just forget to change my clock so i'm an hour late, i set it back an hour so im actually 2 hours late.

hello stupid! hello, says carly

Friday, October 24, 2003

exciting unexcitingness

i bought a bathroom cleaning product and it works, and wasnt i stoked. i even told my mum about it and tok matt into the bathroom when he got home from work to show him how shiny everything is.

i am a sad sad girl.

so the reason i'm cleaning instead of sitting around doing my usual thing is because i have....counting...5ish days until matt and i leave for melbourne. why are we going to melbourne? well, you know, it's cool and everything, good shops, jam donuts :), but we are also meeting sean and holly there at the airport.
it'll be the first time we've actualy seen them in real life, not just a computer screen, and it's been liek 2 and a half years or something freakish like that. they're flying from america to come and see us. US. a strange litle family in adelaide in a tiny house with a freaky two-part dog.

i'm falling into disbelief

still, im not panicking yet at least. i still have mundane things to do like the washing and paying bills. i have an audition for aladdin on sunday and i have to remember to pick a bag of lemons for vicki's mum.

it's...i dont know...i dont know if it's sunk in yet

Thursday, October 23, 2003


elliott smith commited suicide....thats made me sad

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

old fashioned values

some boys came over and knocked on my door on the weekend and asked if they could wash my car for a couple of dollars. we gave them 6, that's $3 each.
nice to see them out earning money and helping people.

i still locked my car first though
i think the answer may lie in a cup of tea and a piece of toast....

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

just so you can see how truly fabulous we all were, here are some pics of the cast of the boyfriend.

from the top, left to right: helen, zoe, fiona, carly, tanna, vicki, tanya, me, lorraine, and in the front anita and julia.
second pic : nathan, dave, malcolm, jimmy, james and michael.

i didnt get a pic of the main girls cos they had a different dressing room, but you get the idea.

Monday, October 20, 2003

run, its a catch up post

yeah yeah, i know, i havent written anything properly in ages. but hey, im a busy girl.

so, the boyfriend. well, we fucking rocked. just got better and better with each performance, and we even got a standing ovation on the last night.
yes yes, thankyou thankyou. and thankyou dang, most of all. i know you were there, in disguise, every night. there was the usual fighting backstage, and bitching about each other and tappers...tappers, he he he.

cast party rocked too. i was drunk, oh how i was drunk. and when im drunk, im anyones. well, i was the couches cos it got decidedly harder to get up as the night went on. i was the unofficial winner of charades, because i rule. why is it that i can never think of things to charade when its my turn but when im laying awake at night i can think of billions?
there was bitching there too, relationship problems abounded....abounded? look, im not getting into it, but if i was going out with fiona, i'd fuck her, end of story.

i love vanessa. i dig chicks who play guitar. seriously, me vix and ness singing throw your arms around me could rival the doug anthony allstars.

so in a week and a half matt and i will be standing in melbourne airport and sean and holly will be getting off the plane. weird...i dont think i can say any more about that...
fucking blogger. i wrote a whole lot and now its all gone. gone i tell you!

Friday, October 17, 2003

how many do you agree with?
A surly cunt with a chip on your shoulder, you are
a recluse who never quite makes it home. You
were raised in a Swedish convent. Oh shit. That
was meant to be a secret.


Which Machine Gun Fellatio Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, October 16, 2003

'girls have fannys and boys have willys. i have a fanny, and you and mummy have fannys, but yours and mummys are fluffy. thats what happens when you get older'

my friend from kindy

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Monday, October 13, 2003

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, skulking out of the desert! It is Littlefaeriegirl, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She grunts vengefully:

"I'm going to flog you so painfully, it will be a new form of crime!!"

Find out!
Enter username:
Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Friday, October 10, 2003

My day was made when I heard a 50 year old woman make the following statement in reference to eminem: "I really appreciate his body of work."

you may not need to hear it again, but i need to sing it again

its so nice to have a cuddle
with a person that you love
feels so good to have a snuggle
with a person that you love
when im hapy or in trouble
i run fast right on the double
just to sit and have a cuddle
with a person that i love

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

a wise man from chicago told me, "Remember - you've only known her for four and a half weeks. I've been in your place before, but you must remember about how long you've known her.

i want her to be able to describe my heart.


things that im happy about today

matt gave me 26 milo bars
i was given a beautiful faerie picture
someone wrote a poem about me that made me smile
i got to see lizzie maguire and degrassi today
i now own the inside of a funky old typewriter
i slept last night
i dont have a headache
i feel like ive settled on my medication amount
im actually not sad
Gentle look at simpler times

THE BOYFRIEND: Opus Performing Arts Community

Noarlunga College Theatre, Ramsay Plc, Noarlunga Centre

Until October 11

Reviewed by Sue Oldknow


SANDY Wilson's The Boyfriend is a romanticised look at the by-gone age of ripping times and jolly good fun that was the Roaring Twenties.

The scanty script is an unashamed device to link together some very catchy ditties such as I Could Be Happy with You and It's Never Too Late to Fall in Love.

At a ladies' finishing school in the south of France, some terribly well-to-do English society girls have a lovely time being "such chums" and looking for that elusive but highly necessary accessory, "the boyfriend".

The production team of Janice Bailey (director), Fiona Bailey (choreographer) and Mark DeLaine (musical director) have come up with a pleasant night out with this quaintly comical musical romp.

Some of the production elements are disappointing. The sets are workmanlike but flimsy and uninspiring, the lighting is utilitarian and the sound unbalanced.

The principles have the luxury of headset microphones that mostly cope but result in thin and sibilant voices.

The choreography shows moments of great promise in numbers such as The Boyfriend and The Riviera but mostly wanders into slow, sparse repetitiveness that sometimes leaves the performers looking decidedly uncomfortable.

There are some very good performances.

Rachel Draheim is a standout as Maisie, combining a bright, energetic comedy performance with a rich singing voice.

Kirilie Blytheman makes a sweet-voiced heroine and Vanessa Eley is a gently elegant Madame Dubonnet.

The finishing school chums, Heather John, Jamie Hibbert and Eliza Bentley, provide a lot of the innocent humour and schoolgirl enthusiasm necessary to move the action along.

But the star of the show is the tight and tuneful orchestra. Some song cues could be anticipated a little quicker to avoid those pregnant pauses but the show will tighten as it progresses.

The music is excellent and ensures that a jolly decent toe-tapping time can be had by all.

The Boyfriend holds no surprises but it's a pleasant way to pass a wintry evening.

· Review published in the Southern Times Messenger, 8-10-03, p. 42.

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

'If I could jump and not reach the stony ground, I would fall forever and pretend I could fly.'

a real life girl
australian idol

for your amusement, i present Eyeballs McBulgy and Doofus van Trendy, aka andrew and james

eyeballs mcbulgy, hehehe, i so wanna punch that guy in the face

Saturday, October 04, 2003

I believe we always have a choice, even if it's just between hard and harder.

alex the girl

Friday, October 03, 2003


is there any particular reason, blogger, why you havent published my last entry????
tidying, taverning and talking

*sigh* well, apart from the fact that im devastated dang wasnt in the front row, last night went pretty ok. i got hit with the curtain but managed to get myself out of it without too much trouble.
we had 80 people there, including at least 1 critic. apparently thats not too bad for an opening night opus performance.
afterwards we had to clean up all the streamers, pack up the balloons back into the net thing, and then go to the tavern. colonnades tavern.....sheeesh. they kept telling us to be quiet when all we were doing was talking.
but all in al i had a very nice time, and hope to do it everynight :)

Thursday, October 02, 2003

oh, im starting to feel myself get addicted to lizzie maguire. the fact that its on just before degrassi isnt helping either.

so tonight is opening night for the boyfriend. eeeep. nah, i dunno, im feeling a bit better about it now. we had our dress rehearsal last night and everything went pretty ok. apart from the fact that the falling ballooons didnt fall until after we'd sat down to hear how we went, but thats ok. fat stinky pat still had to pick them all up so sucked in. here, please accept this gift basket that includes deoderant, a toothbrush and extra strength toothpaste, a mega support bra, some anti fungal cream and a shaver.
did i mention that i get i wear a sailor dress? i look so cute
there was much reassuring and hugging and hand holding going on, and i think that helped a lot, especially with the younger girls

so come along, if you dress up in a 20's outfit you might win a prize
apparently i have an addictive personality that goes both ways.
if im happy, people are hapy, if im gloomy, people are gloomy.

im also addicted to spider solitaire

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Love Desperado

Where is that bear cause I need a hug real bad, I don’t care if it kills me at least I’d die in a pair of arms……

Tim Oxley

Monday, September 29, 2003

a real life girl

as you may or may not know, i'm rather attracted to girls. i've never kissed one or done anything like that, but i'd like to. sean and holly are coming to visit in about a month (see previous entry), and it's possible that things may happen with holly. it's not definate, but it's a possibility. i'm all kinds of excited and scared about that.

as you also may or may not know, i'm rehearsing for a musical at the moment, (the boyfriend, opening on thursday night at 8, at noarlunga theatre), and the assistant director, vicki, has kind of a crush on me. it's weird because although i've had crushes on girls before, they're never, to my knowledge, liked me back. so it's a strange feeling having a real life girl want me.
at first i thought we were just play flirting, cos i do that, and i guess i figured other people did too. but after she said a few things, i believe her now. id ont want to lead her on, because, although she's heaps nice, and she's pretty and all that, i dont really know if i want to do anything with her.
i always thought that i'd do things with holly first, but the other night she gave me a hug goodbye, and we pulled away a little, but not a lot, and i *know* i could have kissed her then and she wouldnt have stopped me.
matts all kinds of happy about it cos he thinks i should bring her home to share, but thats totally a guy way of looking at it.


Friday, September 26, 2003


Wednesday, September 24, 2003

about fucking time

THE South Australian Catholic Church has created legal history by offering an unconditional $2 million compensation package to victims of child sex abuse.

Offers will be delivered today to more than 30 families of young boys who allegedly were abused by a bus driver at a Catholic school for the intellectually disabled between 1987 and 1991.

The offers are unprecedented in that they do not contain any confidentiality clauses and recipients do not have to waive their rights to take legal action against the church for compensation.
sigh and smile

My mind thinks of her in cliches.
Love of my life.
My muse.
Damsel in distress.
Sleeping beauty.
Keeper of my heart.

The writers of the past stole my words.
I'm taking them back for her.


Tuesday, September 23, 2003

return of the ex boyfriends...

at least they arent the ex boyfriends from hell. although, im lucky enough to have not really had a bad exboyfriend experience. funnily enough, any of them that were on the nasty side were always real nice to me when i saw them post relationship.
anyway, you know i spoke to phillip the other week, well now i have a play date with jake. well, my kids, his kids and sharyns kids are all gonna play at play and fun while we have cappucinos.
should be fun

Sunday, September 21, 2003

i have a question...

'people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones'

my understanding of this is, you're in your house, right, and it's made of glass. you're throwing your stones, ie, calling people names or whatever, and your stone hits someone. they turn around, pick up the stone, see that it was you who threw it because your walls are made of glass and they can see straight through them, and they throw the stone back and it smashes your house.
so, don't be mean to people, because they'll be mean back and it could be worse for you.

if anyone else out there disagrees or can explain it any better, please feel free.

more sayings i don't get...

a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
that's cheap at half the price!
don't look a gift horse in the mouth
how i spent my saturday night

watching dennis the menace, planes trains and automobiles and revenge of the nerds

Friday, September 19, 2003

a proud mummy

'this is augustine and i am helping her. she doesnt have a tv or a nintendo....or fresh water or food, and she cant even go to kindy like us! so thats why im helping augustine'


Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Yes There Is a Slight Chance He Might Actually Fail

I gave you a flower
He gave you a whole bunch
He cut you a diamond
I cut you your lunch

I read you a pamphlet
He wrote her a whole book
He paid them both to the movies
I stole you a look

I cannot win
Since the day we watched them move in

Another sick joke
At my expense
But you can't live your life
With one eye over the fence

So I wrote you this song
She got an operatic medley
He bought her a car
I doubled you on my treadly

I can't compete
Since they moved to our street

I candidly took your photo
But it came out a blur
In their hall hangs a portrait
He had commissioned for her

And on Valentine's Day
What was I to do
She got a ninety verse sonnet
I struggled with a haiku

Makes me see red
But I still couldn't wish them both dead

I'm gonna fail
What if I fail
He's gonna fail
He could possibly fail
He could possibly fail
He's gonna fail

Darren Hanlon

Monday, September 15, 2003

doctor who - the entire series

'the greatest time traveler of them all - doctor who - returns to ABC TV on Monday 15 at 6pm. To coincide with the 40th anniversary of the science fiction phenomenon ABC TV will screen the entire doctor who series from episode 1 every Monday to Thursday. The first episode an unearthly child stars the original gallifreyan time lord - William hartnell. Doctor who made its debut on the BBC in November 1963 before reaching Australian screens in 1965 - ABC last screened doctor who in march 1994. The intriguingly nomadic doctor and his historical and futuristic travels founded a massive cult following which supported the BBC's production of more that 700 individual episodes. Doctor who was the longest running science fiction series ever made and everyone has a favourite episode, doctor, or evil foes such as the daleks and cybermen. The doctors dimensionally transcendental adventures in the TARDIS have become an icon for time travel which stretched the imagination - a seemingly ordinary telephone box with an incandescent control room inside that allows it to move through the vortex of time and space. William hartnell was the first to fill the famous doctors shoes and seven other actors - all renowned for their acting abilities - brought their own distinctive flavour and personality to the role. In an unearthly child, the doctor and his grand daughter Susan voyage 100,000 years into earths past to a palaeolithic landscape.'

quoted from rip it up magazine

i'd like to introduce you to augustine. she was born on valentines day, 1999.
she lives in chad and doesnt go to school. her favourite games are group games, and her chores are to run errands.

x chose her from the world vision site, and we sponser her now

Saturday, September 13, 2003

glitter glitter everywhere

last night we went to the kindy disco. it was pretty cool. there were the usual songs, bob the builder, hi five, the saddle club, they were all very cute to watch the kids dance to.
what was quite disturbing was the number or 4 and 5 year olds dancing to shakira songs as if they knew every little movement she makes in her video clips. this also happened in backstreet boys or whatever the boy band of the moment is, and avril songs.
x, being the cool guy he is, hung out at the bar all night. e and i got our hair spray painted with glitter.
i spoke to lachlans mum. lachlan was doing the shakira dance too. mandy said that video hits is his favourite show. she also said that if he doesnt grow up to be an entertainer of some kind, she's sure she'll be in sydney waving him on as he dances past on a float at mardi gras. while he was getting a love heart painted on his face, kylie minogue came on, and with an excited yell of 'kylie!' he was off dancing again.
my response?

he is so gay

Friday, September 12, 2003

attacker wily ah err
warlike chatty rear
thickly wear rat ear
the annagram site

Name: Miss. Carly Whittaker
Suburb: christies beach
Country: australia

Type of Enquiry: Nestle brands and products

milo bars are my favourite chocolate bars. actually, they used to
be my favourite, until you changed them. are you still making the old
ones? please make them. the new ones taste nothing like milo, or the old
milo bars. they taste like chocitos, and if you made these new milo bars
as competition against chocitos, thats just weird cos i dont know many
people who would buy a chocito over another chocolate bar. and anyway,
there was nothing on the market like a milo bar, now, with this new one,
its just another copy of some other bar.
please make the old milo bars again.

Dear Miss. Whittaker

The quality of our products is of the utmost concern to us and whilst we were sorry to hear of your disappointment with our MILO Bar 50g, we would like to thank you for notifying us.

You mentioned that this was the first time you tried our product since our formulation change. We understand your disappointment and sincerely hope that this incident will not deter you further from enjoying our vast range of products.

We value your feedback and if you have any further inquiries about our products please do not hesitate to contact us on 1800 025 361 during business hours.

Yours Sincerely,

Colette Asmar
Food Adviser
Nestlé Australia Ltd

yes im happy they wrote back, but it still doesnt change the fact that the fucked a completely good chocolate bar and came out with a disgusting one

Thursday, September 11, 2003

not happy

milo bars are my favourite chocolate bars. well, they were my favourite. now they've changed them and i took one bite and i felt sick. they're nothing like the old bars. its not like they just made it with creamier chocolate, or more milo, they totally changed it.

not happy

so not happy infact, that i emailed nestle last night and let them know how not happy i am

i will keep you updated on my progress.

ps. if anyone has any spare old milo bars, please sned them over to me?

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

"The Lord of the "Alternative" Chart Toppers:
The Fellowship of The Whitlams"

It's a story of how Tim, a Dunlending banished from his home by the
Rohan, instead of fighting back, forms the first "Alternative" band in
the history of Middle-earth. This Fellowship included a Hobbit
guitarist, a manical, disfigured Hobbit drummer, and a 'straight-up'
Bass-playing Ranger from Minas Tirith.

Watch, as the invigorating rhythms of their power-pop spread through
Middle-earth, like a band of Uruk-hai looking for 'fresh meat' in
Fangorn forest. Hear the powerful White Wizard Saurman shout "MORE
SAAUUUCCE" from the top of his tower in Mordor. But be warned, the evil
Sauron has sent nine Black Riders on a quest to find "the precious", the
one thing that will make him the all powerful Whitlams fan...

...an autographed copy of Stupor Ego.

Be afraid.

"My second customer was Susan, she came in for Lambas Bread for second

Matthyas Kiraly

Monday, September 08, 2003

i just spent 2 hours on the phone with an old friend. an ex boyfriend actually, and i cried. he was really good, didnt freak out, didnt make a fuss, just helped. i think ive been needing to cry for a while now cos i actually feel better.
we had a good talk about lots of things and hopefully he'll be able to help me with particular things in my past that are holding me back.

thanks phillip

Sunday, September 07, 2003

The Curse Stops Here

Stevie left on a Friday too
They made the easy way look hard
We never thought too much about letting go
They took it all too far again

My first days back and I was rolling round the town
saying 'stay away from edges and from ropes if you can'

Cos I am the last one
and the curse stops here
the curse stops here

Ghosts don't lead you towards their light
They make it brighter here for you
Seeing Stevie helped me through from over there
but will his friend now help him out?

My first days back and I was rolling round the town
saying 'stay away from edges and from ropes if you can'

My friends said I was saying it too many times
Leave the gallow humour for the gallow people that it finds

Cos I am the last one
and the curse stops here

the curse stops here

Tim Freedman - The Whitlams
why i love the show

we went to the royal adelaide show yesterday and the kids had an pretty alright time. eli was sooky for most of the day until we gave him some icecream. he also enjoyed hugging a screeching piglet and holding a baby chicken which was equally as noisy.
we got the kids their showbags. eli got a super wheels showbag, which was just full of generic brand cars and bikes and stuff.

an except from the packaging above as to how to operate the 'bideshooteb masked riderryuki'.... yeah, i dont get it either

let the hackle zipper cut in the drailing wheel, then draught at full tilt to upgrade, let the drailing wheel tunning hight speed, at this time set the product to evenness foor to go speed run.


Thursday, September 04, 2003

bad things that happen to good people

charyns dad was in a motorbike accident and he's in intensive care at the moment. he broke his neck, nose, elbow, collarbone, his brain is swollen, he's injured his liver and they've put him into an induced coma.
last person i knew who was induced into a coma died
sharyns dad is really nice. his name is zdenek but we all call him dan. he used to be really stict about sharyn not seeing any boys, once when he answered the phone and it was a boy asking for her, he told him to call back in a few years. but apart from that, he's cool
i hope he gets better soon
"I'm never gonna know you now, but I'm gonna love you anyhow"
Elliott Smith. Waltz #2.

Monday, September 01, 2003

hidden meanings

i got a bracelet from a friend that has little silver ovals dangling from it, and on each oval plate it says 'sister' in a different language. i loved it when i first saw it and i still do.
this friend and i have been through quite a lot. lots of ups and downs and misunderstandings. we always make up in the end but it takes a lot of time for things to get back to the way they used to be.
one of the little plates on the bracelet fell off not long after i got it. it said irma. it was my favourite. i tried to put it back on but i musnt have done a good enough job because it fell off again. i keep finding it in weird places all over the house and even out the front on the driveway.
it was annoying at first, but then i found it comforting because it seemed to me to be just like our friendship. for one reason or another we'd lose each other for a while, but we always come back together somehow.

are their eyes even open?

ok, so, you go and get a tattoo, and its not a small one, mind you. it's about aaaaaah, say, 12 cm tall by about 8 cm wide. its an ankh, and its black. ok, it's on the small of your back, but it's pretty sizey, it would be hard to miss. now lets say you get this on thursday the 21st of august and its now monday the 1st of september and your certain someone hasnt even noticed.....hmmmm....
'Today we went to Vatican City and the museums there. Saw Michaelangelos sisteen Chapelle which was
mindblowing. He was one crazy bastard to paint that massive room. It was really colorful and spectacular. Heaps of nuns breakin the rules there though like queue jumpin and taking photos which your not meant to do. 20 hail marys will sort em out i guess, bitches.'

ben, who is traveling the world

Saturday, August 30, 2003

the boy friend

for those of you who are interested, and who live in adelaide, the play i'm doing at the moment is a musical called 'the boy friend'

it's going pretty well. i'm in the chorus, and at first i thought that this was gonna be cool, cos i'd have lots to do. then for the first few rehearsals all i did was take, literally one step on stage, sing a chorus/verse/chorus and step off. i almost gave up. i wasnt going to give up my time to practice that twice a week and then perform it...oh, fun!
then we started really getting into it and i have many dances and songs to learn, and not a lot of time

i do get to wear a swishy 20's charleston dress though which is really cool

Friday, August 29, 2003

i'll make ya famous

i wonder sometimes if i'd make a good role model. younger people are, for some reason, drawn to me, and i always end up talking to them about my life. i dont sugar coat it, and i dont often put it into younger kid languange.
they still hang around me though.
i was told last night that it was because they think i'm about 15.
im not sure if its a good thing that i talk to them like i do. i dont want to spoil their ideas, and put mine there instead, and i dont want to break any pretty pictures they have in their head about what their life could be, and what they think life when you're a grown up is.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

a letter

dear impersonater me,
how are you? good i hope. i'm doing pretty ok. so, i had this idea, right. i was thinking, you should write your own blog, letting everyone know stuff about me, like, how i have hairy nipples, and how i like to let people watch me play withmyself....oh, and like how i have small boobs, and then, come back here and give us the address for it. then, everyone can choose whethere they like to read about me or alterno me.
i only hope that alterno me doesnt have a more exciting life than real me. oh well, i guess i can always live vicariously through you

just something to think about

love from real me

welcome to the inside of my head, please leave your logic hat at the door

sometimes i think about leaving matt and one of the major things that keeps me with him is that if i met someone else, i'd have to go through the whole uneasy stage again. like, how soon can you fart/burp/ask him to get you a tampon. i can do all that with matt and more.
and then, or course, theres that whole part where he's just an all round nice guy...so i think i'll just stay

Monday, August 18, 2003


She said anytime that you want
i'll be there for a talk
Just pick up that phone and dial
tha number on your wall

Cos she thinks that she needs some time
to rediscover freedom
there's some things that
she thinks she's without

The one day she ran away to
live by the ocean the ocean
people would say it's a little strange
a crazy notion of emotion yeah!

i never wanted to live at sea
She dont wanna be angry just free
No she'll never get angry with me

spencer tracy
this program is not responding, would you like to send an error report?

somewhere deep inside a gigantic mansion are two exceedingly well paid employees. they are dressed in white, short sleeved shirts and black pants. you could quite easily mistake them for mormons, but for their electronic pocket protectors and thick glasses.

they rub their hands together, frown, look down, wipe away the $1000 notes sticking to thier hands and rub again.
'here comes another one' the first nerd says, snorting
'should we tel mr gates?' asks the second nerd, almost orgasming with the thought of speaking to his hero.
'not yet, lets wait till it reaches 9384234302084266916'
both the nerds fall about the place in fits of laughter.*
within a nanosecond, 1000's more reports are flooding their computers. the two nerds are convulsing with laughter. they laugh so loud that bill gates hears it all the way up on the top level of his ivory tower.

it would have taken him an hour or so to use the stairs, and around 20 minutes to go down the escalotors and elevators to the control room, had bill not recently purchased the glass elevator from charlie and the chocolate factory.
'they said it never existed, the fools', he thought to himself, 'nothing can be kept from my clutches'

bill walked into the control room and the nerds knelt before him, their eyes filled with awe. bill gave the nod and the nerds commenced an intricate secret handshake/dance/thingo. when they had finished, it was down to business.
'whats all the laughing about down here, guys? i'm trying to come up with another virus and virus killer to get out in the market.'
'oh mr gates, they just keep coming and coming, we cant help but laugh'
bill looked at the screen and smiled, tears forming in his eyes
'the sad, sad fools. how they believe...'
'i know!' snorted the second nerd, 'they keep sending those error reports, thinking that something is going to get done'
'something gets done alright' wheezed the other nerd, he needed his inhaler after all that laughing
'yes boys, the more they click those 'send error report' buttons the more i know windows XP is the most hated system ive created so far. and all it does is make me more determined to do better next year.'
'oh mr gates, you're our hero!' the nerds were back on their knees, kissing the mans brown leather sandals his mother still made him wear, 'we know you can do it!'
'so do i, my minions....so do i.....'

yes, the joke is missed my all who are reading this. i'm sure it's some bizarre star trek reference, or perhaps the name of the computer in tron. whatever it is, i dont get it, and i dont want to

i get jealous very easily, and it's generally over people who say and do the things that i, for one reason or another, cannot.
i'm not going to listthe people i am jealous of, just know that if you catch me staring at you funny and it looks like i hate you, i probably do, but only for that moment when i am wishing i could do what you do

Thursday, August 14, 2003

is my season changing?

i am a winter girl. well, an autumn girl really. i like being inside, all warm and snuggly and listening to the rain. but i've had enough of being so freezing i cant move. i think this is why this is my favourite song at the moment

t shirt weather - the lucksmiths

Hey Mike, you busy?
All this sunshine’s making me dizzy
Went outside, all my clothes dried
And if I’m babbling, please forgive me
But it’s the first hint of sunshine
For a week or so, I’d say
And I’m keeping well, I’m in good health
But I sneeze when I look into the sun today

There’s my bike looking dusty
The spokes are broken and rusty
But I’m happy to walk
I’m happy with anything today
‘Cause I’m out in the sunshine
While my friend’s at home asleep
I guess that’s just the downside
To the money he makes and the hours he keeps

And I say hey, it’s a beautiful day
And I’m starting to feel a lot better
So wake up, wake up
It’s T-shirt weather

Ba-ba-ba how could things be better?
This afternoon in the pub I met her
Maggie May on the juke-box
Hey, things are okay
“Just two things” she tells me,
“If you want to keep things friendly –
no beer for me, no peanuts, and I’ll be happy…
oh, and no football, well I guess that makes three”

It’s a beautiful day
And I’m starting to feel a lot better
So wake up, wake up
It’s T-shirt weather
It’s T-shirt weather

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

the way it should have been

i feel like a proper 15 year old. i'm obsessing and upset about a tv show, im reading virginia andrews and not having sex.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

this is the end

Buffy R.I.P
March 10, 1997 - May 20, 2003
She saved the world. A lot.

tonights the night. i'm excited and sad, i almost dont want to watch, but i will, i have to. all of my 20's has been taken up by this show, and it's all coming to an end tonight.
I have an idea of what's going to happen too, and i dont like it. i wont spoil it for people who don't know yet, but i think i'm going to cry.
re runs just arent gonna be the same....and angel...not the same either. i'll still watch angel, i'll still watch the re runs. i'll still laugh at xander, cack myself at anya, aaaaw at andrew, and wriggle at willow.
its just that tv wont be the same anymore

Monday, August 11, 2003

a second chance?

except in this case it would be a third or fourth or even a fifth chance. this girl...i've been so mad with her in the past that i've wanted to throw a D sized battery at her head, and i would have too, had i not been so wussy. but she's apologised now, and although it wasnt to me, it will be soon. i'm not totally sure how to go about it all. i'll accept her apology, but i dont want to have to go through all the crap again. do i wasnt the throw a battery feeling again? probably not. will i feel it again if i see her enough? probably. is an old friendship like that worth saving? we did have a lot of really good times, but i dont know if i can do it again. i want to be there for people who need help, and i know that she could use the support. im just not sure of how much of me i'm willing to get hurt in the process

Friday, August 08, 2003

oh, and it's my mums birthday today, so

happy birthday mum

here is the new and improved, if this doesnt work im gonna kick blogger in the nuts, 100 things list

100 things

i am a great stealer of good ideas. i saw on katies blog the other day that she had made a 100 things list. now im going to. dang also has one, and holly does a 5 things list occasionally. but i am going to attempt a 100 things list.
100 things

1. i used to wish my name was sarah or samantha. i didnt used to like my name because no one could say it right, they always called me kylie. i liked sarah because it was princessy, and samantha because it was cool and could be shortened to sam. the main reason why i chose those names was because if i had to write them in fancy cursive, the 's' would look really nice. writing 'c' in fancy cursive just ends up like an 'e', making my name 'early' which is just wrong

2. another reason was that there arent a lot of words that rhymed with carly. and when i was at primary school, kids always sang that song

and there was carly, carly, eating sugar and barley
in the store
in the store
there was carly, carly, eating sugar and barley
in the cornermasters store
my eyes are dim, i cannot see
i have not brought my specs with me
i have not brought my specs with me

and it was aaaaaalwyas barley. i never liked that

3. on that note, oh ha ha, i once laid in my hammock at my old house and sang a song for hours over and over. it went like this

of ghoulies and ghosties and long legged beasties and things that go bump in the niiiiight, the lord preserve us

i've asked around and no one else knows that song, i might have made it up

4. also, i once sat on one of the hammock chairs after i got out of the pool, and i needed to wee but i couldnt be bothered going inside so i just wee'd where i was. yanneke was there and she said 'you're weeing!' and i said that i was just dripping from the pool

5. i didnt have a lot of friends when i was at school until about half way through feburary when i'd start handing out invitations to my birthday party. because i had a pool and a spa, everyone wanted to come to my party. i didnt mind this because i got more presents and i didnt like many people anyway, so i never had to speak to them for the rest of the year

6. there was a boy that liked me when i was younger called jarrod baker. i liked him too, but i never told him or any of my friends. he came to one of my parties and gave me a box of crayons. he was a year older than me, and when i started high school and he was in year nine, i think he decided he was too cool to like me anymore and he used to pay me out. i dont know where he is now

7. the first boy that i remember liking me was daniel stone. he used to give me pretty hankies and soaps carved into roses and things like that. i always thought he stole them off his mum. i never liked him

8. i get addicted and obsessed with things very easily, and my habits are hard to break. some things i have been addicted to are faerie bread, watermelon, pancakes, french toast and tea. tea is the only habit i havent gotten out of but im fine with that. i also watch the boy who teaches harry how to play quidditch in harry potter, whenever he is on the screen, even if he isnt speaking.

9. my hands and bum are almost always cold

10. since the movie came out, i have only said its name once. the movie is about dinosaurs and they live in this park thing and they go mad i guess and start attacking people. i dont know for sure cos ive never seen it and dont wish to

11. i really like strawberry shortcake

12. i used to really like strawberries but now i only kinda like them. my mum used to buy them for me as a special treat and i'd cover them in sugar and eat the whole punnet in one go

13. i have honey in my tea instead of sugar

14. i have a scar on my cheek from where i had a birthmark removed. i used to tell people that i was standing on the end of a jetty one day and a pirate ship pulled up and the pirate took a swipe at me with his hook. now i just tell them the truth

15. i can sleep anywhere, any time

16. from year 9 to half way through year 12, i was totally in love with chris elze. i think he knew because anytime i tried to talk to him he'd tell me to fuck off. my maths teacher mr dempster told me that it was because he liked me. i think thats just what people tell ugly people to make them feel better because the good looking people are throwing things at you

17. my hands are freezing

18. i watch and enjoy big brother

19. i enjoy reading

20. i enjoy reading erotica although im not a big fan of actual real life sex

21. i really like the whitlams and the last couple of times they've come to adelaide, i've hung out with jak and pai and they are sweet and lovely, /end brag

22. i really wish i liked beer

23. i once had $6000 in the bank, and then i moved out, and ten i got pregnant, now i have no savings

24. i get very mad, very quickly at people who call me and ask me for money. 'dont you want the poor children to go on a camp???' well yes i do, and if you'd have just left me alone, i may well have donated money so they could, but since you asked, you get nothing.

25. this also goes for christians/jehovahs witnesses/mormons who knock at my door. leave me alone, or i will sprout horns and a tail and smack you with it

26. the first girl i ever liked was drew barrymore. the first real girl i liked, i didnt even know her name. she was in the rock and roll eisteddfod with me when i was in year 10 and she was in year 12. she had black hair and was really cute. i waited out the front of school with her one day and i liked her ever since. i dont even think i spoke to her

27. my favourite colour is blue no matter how much i try and change it. i also like pink and green and red. when i buy clothes that are these colours and i had a choice between them and blue, i make myself choose the other colours. then when i get home, i always wish that i chose the blue one

28. i have a scar on my hand from stabbing myself with a stanley knife in art one day. our teacher showed us the right way to use them and then said, 'and if any of you cut yourselves by using it wrong, dont come crying to me'. so when i cut myself by using it wrong i just asked to go to the toilet and stayed there until it stopped bleeding

29. one day my dad sent me up the shops on my skateboard to buy a bottle of coke. on the way home the bottled rolled off the skateboard....ok, i'll explain. i couldnt ride a skateboard standing up, only on my knees, so i put the bottle between my hands and scooted off. i took some broken glass back to the shop and told the man what happened but he didnt give me my money back or give me a new bottle of coke. always thought that was mean

30. i used to steal mini easter eggs from that man right in front of his eyes. he watched me and let me

31. maybe he felt sorry for not giving me a free bottle of coke

32. i know the words to the movie labyrinth

33. i also know the words to the breakfast club

34. the doug anthony all stars used to be my favourite group. no one at my school knew who they were. this happened quite a lot through high school. i liked being 'different'

35. i used to have a recurring dream where i found a tiny little box. when i opened it i got sucked into the box and stuck against the wall. then the box would shut and float off till someone else found it and they'd get sucked into it

36. personwhosnameimustnevermention doesnt generally like listening to my dreams because they go on for ages and mean nothing

37. i only like tomatos if they're hot or have been turned into something like soup or sauce

38. same goes for ham, but i dont know what you can turn it into.....i only like ham if its hot, like a toasted ham and cheese sandwhich

39. when people lose things and ask me where they are and i say 'its in the bedroom, on the shelf, under the book' and they say 'no it isnt' i like to say 'if i go in there and find it......' and then go storming in there and find it, just like a real mummy

40. i dont handle change very well at all

41. i really like the smell of green tea

42. i really like the smell of holly too, and sean and holly sent me her perfume so i can smell her whenever i want

43. i like reading erotica and have attempted writing it...im not very good

44. again, i am freezing

45. i am quite lazy. sometimes i'll even put off going to the toilet until im almost busting because i cant be bothered getting up

46. along those same lines, if i could fit out my computer with tea making facilities, i would

47. i will be in the next star wars movie, im posting off my resume today

48. one of my favourite plants, lantana, is considered a weed in the eastern states of australia

49. i cant play any musical instruments, but in a play i had to play 'come as you are' on acoustic guitar, and i did it

50. reggie won big brother!!!!! i know you dont care, but i do

51. i enjoy getting splinters out

52. of myself and other people

53. i also like to put peroxide on sores so i can watch the white bubbles. fingers have lots of germs, iven if you dont have sores.

54. i own a mobile phone, but if any companies ask me if i have one, i lie and say no because i dont want them to have my number

55. i really wish i could draw. i once got given a 'how to draw horses and ponies' book. there is evidence of me trying to draw a horse and a pony inside the front cover. i give up very easily

56. i really do give up very easily. and i always have. i found my report card from year 3 and it said that i need to have more confidence in myself. that if i cant do it the first time, it doesnt mean i'll never be able to do it and just give up.

57. i like to wear dresses and skirts and be girly

58. when i was younger i was in a gang and we used to have meetings on top of the shed mear the pool. we were so tough. we never did anything gang-like, but we had lots of meetings. sometimes we'd pretend taht the dog next door was mean, and we'd dare each other to jump over the fence, that was about the extent of our toughness.

59. we also used to do lots of bike tricks, like jumping over people. we would all lay on our backs and andrew would jump over us. we'd put mark at the end incase andrew didnt make it the whole way over us

60. my favourite book used to be the folk of the far away tree by enid blyton. i dont have a new favourite book, so i guess its still my favourite

61. im reading it to x right now, one chapter per night

62. i know for a while there my favourite books were the power of one/tandia by bryce courtenay. whenever the power of one is on tv, i have to watch it

63. i crunch very loudly

64. its as if theres a speaker in my head

65. its very echoey

66. i just used up 3 things for one comment. im struggling and im only into the 60's

67. it realy annoys me when people use the saying 'cheap at half the price' because of course it would be cheap at half the price, moron

68. i cant watch burgos catch phrase without yelling at the tv

69. for instance, a picture of a really big foot, is of course 'bigfoot' but its not a catch phrase, its the name given to some massive thing that lives in the hills somewhere

70. i just wrote 69 and didnt make a joke about it

71. i get side tracked very easy, but i have good attention span for most things

72. i have many of half written stories....many....many many

73. i am attracted to shiny things. if there is something shiny on the side of the road i will see it, and pick it up. i get lots of jewellry this way

74. i like the old playschool better than the new playschool

75. i used to have tamarisk green 1970 morris 1300. i love that car. i miss it. now i have a 1991 hyundai excel...no character

76. i really wish i had a cat

77. my first proper boyfriend once asked me if he could 'lick my shmoo'. after i eventually gave in, he squated between my legs and stuck his tongue in me. yes in me. didnt wriggle it, didnt even go in and out, nothing. then he sat up and said, 'hmm, wasnt that good, was it?'

78. i am good at making toast

79. water is not my favourite drink, no matter how much i try to force it to be

80. it is tea

81. with milk

82. and honey

83. and yes, i have just succeeded again to stretch out one comment into, this time, 4 sections

84. counting that one 5, and this one, 6

85. i will never, ever, be a tidy person, its not part of my personality. i like to have piles of things sitting around, that way, i know where everything is. if you are annoyed by this, please feel free to coe over and clean my house, i will not stop you. just be ready for a barrage of 'where's my (insert object here)' when you are done

86. i used to have pet rats. brett bought one home from school. her name was tinkerbell. it was a mean rat because kids used to poke it through the cage. he took it home because if someone didnt it would have been killed. we got her home and she had 4 babies which i proceeded to name after 4 boys in my class. scott, ashley, mark and dazza. scott was my favourite and he got eaten first. yes eaten. by the other rats. disembowelled. then they all went one by one. i cant remember who the last rat was. mark or dazza, i think. nasty pieces of work, rats

87. i really like tampon boxes. i wish they didnt freak people out so much cos some of the pictures are really cool

88. i remember the words to weird 80's commercials. skate skate skate skate, skate skate skate, play play play play plaaaaaaaaaaaay, walk walk walk, walk walk , go go go go, go gallop run shuffle jump giggle cycle hit, sway wirggle paddle sit, hop tickle hurdle knit, etc :)

89. i now, as of today, own 2...not 1, but 2 hello kitty vibrators, um, massagers, i mean

90. i will tease people if the opportunity arises, i am always nice about it though

91. as opposed to yanneke who said i couldnt go to her cabbage pach kids birthday party with james, because he was only a patch kid

92. i dont have many memories of my dad. one i do have is of him sending me to my room for taking a bite of the coffee crisp bar that was in the fridge for mum, even though it wasnt me

93. in the same house that happened in, my brother and two girls from around the corner found a porno on top of the fridge and watched it. the younger girl, katie went home and told her mum. i cant remember if i got in trouble

94. my ears are always sore

95. when i was little i used to wet the bed and my mum and dad took me to the hospital to get tests done. the doctors filled me full of fluid and thn strapped me to a bed and made the bed move so it was as if i was standing up and then i had to wee everything out. i didnt understand

96. i did eventually stop wetting the bed but sometimes when its about 4 in the morning and its freezing, i wish that i could do it again so i wouldnt have to get up

97. i once ruptured my ear drum with an ear stick. i had a towel around my head, holding my hair away from my face and i was cleaning my ears and my cat ran in front of my feet and as i was tripping over the towel fell down, i went to push it away and pushed the ear stick into my ear. it really hurt

98. i will let you play with my hair for hours......and hours

99. this also goes for massages :)

100. one more huh, dunno.....um, lets see.....*big breath out* gee....this is tricky.....i like chicken

Monday, August 04, 2003

ok, after much putting off and slacking i have finished my 100 things list. its down there somewhere, read it if you want
The Doug Anthony Allstars, comprising of Tim Ferguson (the pretty but vacuous one), Richard Fidler (the guitarist) and Paul McDermott (the short, nasty one) first appeared on the Canberra busking scene in the mid-1980s. Paul was not originally a part of the trio, but the third member was forced to leave the group, so Richard approached Paul to join, after seeing him perform with Gigantic Fly, a group who parodyed 30s films.

DAAS gained attention on the streets of Canberra by performing outrageous stunts, such as Paul setting himself alight and jumping into a clothing bin. Eventually, the group made it to the Adelaide Fringe Festival, where they won the pick of the fringe. After this, they made their way to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival (the first of six for the Allstars).

They released their first album, "Let It Swing", around this time, which was a short collection of covers and original songs. It was only sold at their gigs, and was later released through the Doug's fanclub, Hateline.

They enjoyed great success in the UK, making many television appearances and gaining a lot of recognition. In the late-80s they returned to Australia, where they were still relatively unknown. That was until Ted Robinson approached them to appear on a new stand-up show for ABC-TV, called "The Big Gig".

From their first appearance on the show, their popularity began to rise, seeing them release their first book, entitled "Book", in 1989. It was a dark collection of short stories, which was quite different to their stage shows.

Continuing on from the relative success of Book, they released an album in 1990, "Icon". Icon was a collection of original DAAS songs, with Bottle being the single which was released to promote the album. As well as this, they released a video of one of their live shows, "Live At The National Theatre", which was recorded over the course of two shows, in Melbourne (not New York, as the video cover states!).

They continued to appear on the Big Gig every week, until 1991, when their own series, DAAS Kapital, premiered on ABC-TV. It was a half hour sitcom, set in the future, which focussed on the boy's adventures on the underwater museum of history, Titanic II, where they were supposed to be cataloguing artefacts. They were joined by performers such as Bob Downe (Mark Trevorrow), Flacco (Paul Livingston), Psycho Bob (Michael Petroni) and Khym Lam (who was later to marry Richard) in their misadventures. Each of the episodes were named after one of the seven deadly sins.

A second series of DAAS Kapital was commissioned, and to accompany it, a book of scripts from the first series was released. In the second series, the submarine had been blasted out into space by a nuclear explosion, which was designed to destroy the ship, along with all traces of human history. In this series, the episodes were named after the seven virtues. In 1992, they also recorded a television special for the BBC in London, entitled "DAAS Love".

1993 was a big year for DAAS. They released their film, The Edinburgh Years, which followed Paul in his quest to discover the truth about the murder of his ancestor Jose Phillipe McDermott, but it happens to coincide with the Fringe, so his efforts keep getting interrupted by Tim and Richard being more interested in the goings on in the city.

They also released an official bootleg of one of their shows through their fanclub in 1993, "Live In Edinburgh", as well as releasing their "Dead & Alive" show on both CD and video.

They spent a lot of time in London during their last years together, hosting their own show on Channel 4, called "Viva Cabaret", which was a live variety show, in a similar vein to The Big Gig, but with more music. They also did some work for Channel Nine's "Today Show" during 1994.

In the months before their break-up, they recorded Blue in London. It was never officially released for various reasons, but it has been extensively bootlegged over the internet. It is an album of 'serious' songs and covers.

They released one final book, "The Farewell Songbook", which was was sold at their last gigs, containing lyrics and guitar tabs to some of their most popular songs, as well as a couple of extras thrown in. ABC-Radio aired four of their farewell gigs in 1995, two of which were released on cassette and CD.

After over a decade of terrorising audiences all over the world, lying to the media about what they were up to and pushing the limits of good taste, the Allstars disbanded, due to a difference of opinion over which direction the group should take, performing their last show in Perth in December 1994, but their fan base has continued to support their work, even gaining new fans, through the screening of DAAS Kapital and The Big Gig on Pay TV.