a real life girl

as you may or may not know, i'm rather attracted to girls. i've never kissed one or done anything like that, but i'd like to. sean and holly are coming to visit in about a month (see previous entry), and it's possible that things may happen with holly. it's not definate, but it's a possibility. i'm all kinds of excited and scared about that.

as you also may or may not know, i'm rehearsing for a musical at the moment, (the boyfriend, opening on thursday night at 8, at noarlunga theatre), and the assistant director, vicki, has kind of a crush on me. it's weird because although i've had crushes on girls before, they're never, to my knowledge, liked me back. so it's a strange feeling having a real life girl want me.
at first i thought we were just play flirting, cos i do that, and i guess i figured other people did too. but after she said a few things, i believe her now. id ont want to lead her on, because, although she's heaps nice, and she's pretty and all that, i dont really know if i want to do anything with her.
i always thought that i'd do things with holly first, but the other night she gave me a hug goodbye, and we pulled away a little, but not a lot, and i *know* i could have kissed her then and she wouldnt have stopped me.
matts all kinds of happy about it cos he thinks i should bring her home to share, but thats totally a guy way of looking at it.

sigh