Monday, September 30, 2002

i have an owie sicky tummy today. i'm very grumpy. i cant go to the city to pick up my you am i cd and free t shirt. marc and lyndell broke up cos marc thinks he might like someone else and lyndell is so upset. matt is mad at me for being mad at marc. im only mad because he's doing all this stuff like getting alices phone number in front of lyndell. if he doesnt love her anymore, than thats sad but thats the way it has to be. lyndell is devastated. she keeps crying and crying. the part that has hurt her the most is that all this time marc's been really over protective of her, getting mad when a guy even looks at her and she happens to look back. and now he's being pretty aloof about the whole thing. not giving any answers and leaving her waiting. thats why she broke up with him, cos she didnt think it was fair that she had to hang around and wait till marc made up his mind. i made her cookies. partly to cheer her up, partly to make her eat something cos she hasnt eaten since wednesday. she had half of one. poor girl. i'm gonna ring her later and see how she's going.
my tummy hurts :(

Friday, September 27, 2002

through dangers untold and hardships unumbered
i have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city
to take back the child that you have stolen
for my will is as strong as yours
and my kingdom as great

you have no power over me

sarah - labyrinth

Thursday, September 26, 2002

i'm going to attempt to make a new blog that just has quizzes in it. so i'm going to be taking all the quizzes out of here and putting them there, thus making this blog run faster, so , wahoo.

on another note, i'd just like to say, 'welcome home holly' i hope you and sean are having a nice fuck right now.

did i just say that? i am so naughty

Wednesday, September 25, 2002

there used to be a picture of david cassidy here with a 'which 70's teen idol are you?' quiz thingo, but the picture wouldnt come out right so out he goes. screw you david cassidy

david cassidy was on rove last week and he is probably, actually, yes, without a doubt, the scariest person i have seen in a long time. try and find a pic of him somewhere. he is really REALLY scary
sean is always on the phone

Take the "Which Mike Myers Are You Quiz" By Horsekateer

I was going to call you up tonight
ask you to come, walk a while at my side
talk with me, about nothing and everything
we could have told each other things
that the night would hold secret in it's wisdom
letting the darkness weave a spell over us
instead this distance is far too convenient
I miss knowing you, those little things
that that make you up, make me want you
you look like the picture on the front of the box
I would try to put you back together
but you're holding all the pieces

the girl next door [+]

it's like this girl says the things in my head that i cant find the words for
'yeeeeah, dont let it go to waste
i love it but i hate the taste
and you keep holding me down'

foo fighters


on another foo fighters note, i got an email through the punkarella list that said that the foo fighters played at this gig to raise awareness that HIV does not tlead to AIDS, that its the medicine that the doctors give you that gives you AIDS. what the? apparently the bass player, i think, could be guitarist, but anyway, he found out about it and deicided they should play this gig. there were flyers being handed out and everything. i dont know about that. for a band that big to play at something like that has got to be a little scary, dont you think?
good news for today though is that they played an unreleased nirvana song on the radio this morning. the radio station stole it off the internet. matt called me and said, just grab a tape and record it. so thats what i did, and then when it was finished i played the tape to see what i taped over and it was matts old band anakin. they were so bad. chad came over the other day, he was the guitarist for anakin, and he says, 'when ross gets back we should have an anakin reunion and play some gigs'. yeah, or not.
sean and holly got bit parts in the new view askew movie jersey girl. how cool is that! i wish matt and i did too, but i know we're too far away. hee hee, thats so cool.
matt caught a mouse in our new humane mousetrap last night. xander was awake this morning when he found it. he was originally going to drop it off at lonsdale somewhere on his way to work, but xander wanted to see it so i think he just let it go up the road which means, of course, that it'll be back. i asked xander about it afterwards and he said that the mouse cried when it got let out and that it had to run really fast cos it was raining.
he also said something the other day which made me think he was like, some amazingly gifted child. he was eating a green iceblock, and he said to me, 'green tastes like wind'. and ithought, thats beautiful, you are so clever. that is until this morning when he has an orange iceblock and tells me that orange tastes like wind. maybe its a different kind of wind, i dont know.

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

could my life possibly get any worse?
mum came over this morning so that i could go over to colonnades andhave some 'me' time. in that me time i needed to put some films in to be developed, buy bread and butter, go to the bank and pay my rego which was due on the 16th.
as i pulled into colonnades carpark, a policeman called me over and told me i was driving an unregistered vehicle, and it didnt matter that i had my rego papers in my hand, proving that i was going to pay for it right then, the fact was that i was breaking the law and was to be given a fine and a summons for a court appearance. 'its not my fault you cant prioritise your life' fuck you pig, my priorities lie with my kids and my family, feeding them and making sure they're warm and safe is my priority. if i could afford to pay my rego, i would have. if i could afford to take a taxi to the bank and to motor registration, i would have. but the thing is, i couldnt and i was paying it the first chance i could. he had the authority to give me a warning and let me off since it's my first offence, but no, he had to do the whole thing and be an arsehole about it. fuck head.
i was crying the whole time. i went to see mary but she wasnt there. another lady spoke to me and she said she'd drive me to motor rego cos i wasnt allowed to drive my car there, then she drove me back to colonnades to get my car. i felt so bad for her haviong to do that. i know its her job to councel people but im not her client. i dont know how many times i apologised to her.
then i got home, still crying, kept crying till mum left, cos she had to go to work and couldnt stay. then i rang matt to tell him what happened and he said, 'dont worry, get over it, its nothing'. and i know in the whole scheme of things it is nothing but its not nothing to me. im feeling bad enough as it is at the moment, i dont need this

Monday, September 23, 2002

sonya from MAPS emailed me and told me about a movie that her friend is making. it's a 1950's detective movie so if i get a part that should be really cool. i've emailed him my resume and photos...i guess he'll get back to me when he sees it.
matt wasnt too keen on me doing it. when i told him instead of being excited like he normally is he said, 'do you want to talk about it now or later'. that pissed me off. a lot of things have been pissing me off lately, and a lot of them are to do with matt. i took eli to the doctor earlier. i knew nothing was wrong with him but i just wanted to make sure there wasnt a real medical reason why he isnt sleeping or able to exist without screaming. and i was right, theres nothing wrong. i really just wanted to get out of the house. he fell asleep in the car on the way back so i went to mums for a couple of hours and just yelled and yelled about matt. i felt better i guess. i wrote out a wishlist from the avon catalouge of new makeup and perfume stuff that i might like if mum was feeling generous and wanted to give me something that might cheer me up for a second or two.
when i got home matt was very sweet to me. he didnt act mad that i had been out for so long. he just asked how eli was and showed me the photos he'd put up. he also made me some cup of teas and played with my hair a bit. maybe it's guilt? maybe he's just trying to be nice? maybe it's nothing at all and i'm just looking for reasons? i dont know.
i told mum how i wanted to move back there for a while maybe. she didnt say no. she just said maybe matt and i should have more of a talk about it tonight.
i said to her, and mary when she rang today that i'd rather leave temporarily now and work things out than leave for good later on bad terms.

Sunday, September 22, 2002

oh yeah, i forgot to tell you. matt cought a mouse in the lounge room last night. he set a trap for them near the heater cos thats where they're getting in. i thought i'd hear it snap but i didnt. eli was up all night so we were up and down all night too. matt went and checked the trap as i was getting up to go to the toilet. i heard the plastic in the bin crackling and i knew he'd cought one. he said he'd gotten rid of it. i like mice. im not scared of them or anything. i just dont fancy seeing a stiff dead one on my floor or in my bin. so what do you think happens? i get up this morning and walk into the kitchen and the sunlight shining through the window highlights the outline of a very stiff, very dead mouse laying in the bin. matt thought it was funny but apologised.
yeah, real funny, i thought.poor mousies. i know i know, they cant live in the house with us, but i hate killing them. the one matt got last night could have had babies :(
i checked my email this morning and theres a message from someone sent matt a kiss :) her name is tanya doyl. she's 22 and lives in gunnison, UT. you can look at her here. the thing is that when i looked her up, i couldnt find her. i did a search for her, thinking i could send a kiss back to her because sending an email costs 10 credits and matt only has 5. but she's nowhere to be seen. matt reckons they've set it up so people buy credits. i'm thinking he's probably right.
even so i wouldnt mind some guy sending me a kiss. he has to be hot though....maybe he could look like orlando bloom :) *giggles and giggles at sean and blows him kisses, aaaaaaw :)*

Friday, September 20, 2002

my tummy is growling at me
i'm pretty sure its saying 'no more bread! eat some fruit!'
fruit is cold and it hurts my teeth
bread is soft and comforting
this is from the punkarella mailing list that i am on. we've been discussing the vines/the strokes and either a) how much they are try hard posers b) how much they rock c) how much we dont care about them or d) can we please shut up about the strokes and the vines and talk about you am i, the new cd comes out in a week or so goddammit!!!!!!. can you guess which one i'm going with?

anyway, i just liked this comment...made me giggle

But I think all slightly rock'n'roll image conscious
young men should be grateful that The Strokes have awakened little
girls to the dirty side of music again, even if it is a pasteurised
version of the dirty side.

dirty music. that reminds me of the rocky horror picture show.
ta ta ta ta ta ta touch me
i wanna get diiiirty

dammit janet, you sexy thang

sensible or stupid

I think I could like you
but that would mean to put aside my inhibitions
however wise or foolish they may be
and to lose control just isn't my style
damn this being sensible
it's interfered with my ability to be human
I want you to make me fall
but I don't want to be at the mercy of your smile
a mistake I never minded making
or will I wish I hadn't ever had the choice
it's not your fault whatever happens
another round won by caution and lost to life
the girl next door 4:51 PM

i really like what this girl writes

She said if I don't let myself be happy now, then when? -Jimmy eat world.

Sometimes when we keep our mouths shut we help the most.

don't fret, my dear
always mumbling under breath
with such a concerned look
tired of the same no place game
but thriving on abstract ideas
maybe nothing will ever make sense
and then what?

the girl next door [+]

i'm not gonna paste anymore, you should check it out yourself.

one last thing before i forget. matt and i wrote another song.


blonde hair, kind heart
nice to me, a good start
you disappear, and i'm searching
when i found you

there were rainbows
there was romance
and i was thinking
i had a chance here
there were stars above me shining
then you didnt write back

i kept thinking, i kept hoping
i kept writing, i kept dreaming
i gave up, tried forgetting
no reminiscing, this isnt happening now

there were rainbows
there was romance
and i was thinking
i had a chance here
there were stars above me shining
and then you didnt write back

came across you as if by fate
you wrote back, sorry for the break
you'd moved on, you were happy
could it have been? can we still be friends?

there were rainbows
there was romance
and i was thinking
i had a chance here
there were stars above me shining
and then you didnt write back
i had another dream last night where i'm in a play or rehearsing a play and i dont know my lines. in this one i just made them up and hoped that they were right but usually i just stand there and look pleadingly to everyone to help me out. i hate having these dreams. i always feel, in the dream, that i am better than that. that i know that i know my lines so why dont i just say them. it makes me feel bad and hopeless and like im not good enough. later on i was good enough to look after a new born baby, but that was easy because i just took off its nappy and let it lay on the ground and kick and laugh. new born babies dont do that, so that part of my dream was all wrong. as was the fact that i said hello to someone in the corridor that i dont like, and i was being really nice to them.

i yelled at the boys last night and got mad at matt. both the boys were tired and upset and i was trying to put them to bed. xander wouldnt go to the toilet and eli wouldnt let me put him down so i could do things. i was yelling at xander to go to the toilet and yelling at eli to shut up, and the whole time matt was laying on the lounge watching tv. that pissed me off. i got eli ready but he just laid in bed and screamed. i put xander to bed and he laid there and cried. matt eventually got up to help but all he did was get eli out of bed and make xander cry more by saying goodnight to him. ok that last bit wasnt his fault but it was according to me last night.
that was when i realise that ihadnt taken my medicine yet. about an hour later i was almost crying because i felt so bad about being mean to everyone.
i started reading a magazine that i bought but i felt too guilty because i shouldnt have bought it. i was feeling crappy at shopping from lack of sleep and my back still hurting. i felt like i deserved it. if i didnt buy it we'd be $6 closer to being able to afford the rego for my car that was due last week. as it is i'm going to have to be driving around in it unregistered till next thursday. i hate having no money. everything is going up except matts pay it seems. and soon we're even going to be charged for plastic bags at shopping. thats just more money i could do with having in my own pocket, even if it is just for a few more seconds before i spend it on a bill. i cant remember a week where we've had enough money for months. i dont know where its all going.
i have to ring noarlunga health village today and find out when my psych appointment is. it was supposed to be on thursday. they cancelled it but they never rang me back to say when the next one was. when the guy at helen mayo said that i could benefit from seeing a psychologist i was kinda...i dunno...i thought it would be interesting, but i wasnt totally sure if i needed it. i thought that it would probably be the same as talking to mary, which would be fine with me, but i didnt know that it would help anymore than she does. im starting to think that maybe i do need to go.

Thursday, September 19, 2002

Find your inner Smurf!

i really thought id be sleepy smurf

You just can't seem to make up your mind wich of the sexy men you are going to stake claim to! You seem to like to have your cake and eat it too. Why not give your ex husband, Jack, another chance. He is crazy about you
and has proven time and again his loyalty to you. What more do you want?! If you keep putting him off you may end up a bitter, old, and lonely gossip column journalist!

~Which Days of Our Lives Diva are you? ~

he he he, jack and jennifer were always my favourite DOOL couple....i dont say DOOL, btw, i just wanted to say it then. anyway, jack and jennifer. i liked the originals best. apparently theres a website somewhere that you can sign that is devoted to getting the original jack and jen back. i might start watching it again then. although, that may not ahppen for a few years, im sure the same stuff will still be happening so i'll know whats going on.

i promised myself i wouldnt do anymore quizzes for a while. but then i found that smurf one and i couldnt resist.

the vines played on rove last night. i am yet to be impressed by the vines. i saw them when they played with you am i when i was pregnant with eli and they were ok. nothing special. i remember saying to matt that he could have played and no one would have known the difference, ( not meaning that in a bad way, of course), and he agreed. we got given a free demo ep, which has been selling on ebay for around $300. i might have to dig mine out and sell it. $300 would be handy right now. anyway. they were really bad. im not sure if they are bad, or if they were pretending to be bad, or if it was just the singer who was bad/or pretending to be bad, whether the singer was drunk/ondrugs/both or pretending. they're just trying to emulate early 90's grunge and they arent even doing taht well. they look just like any other band that came out at that time, except that i wouldnt have even looked twice at them back then. the singer even practically fell on rove when he tried to shake his hand at the end. dumbass. he is so not cool.

the foo fighters were on too, and while their song didnt make me go wow like they normally do, they were way more entertaining than the vines. dave is hot. id have sex with him definatley. oh, is sean listening? id have sex with orlando bloom too, as myslef and/or as a comic book character :) tehee

at this point i would like to share with you my celebrity name, courtesy of, i think. i didnt keep note of the addy.

me : celestine wonder
matt : merwyn foo foo (lmao)
sean : studd le void
holly : honey glitter

holly got a cool name. sticky and sparkley :)

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

quizzes quizzes everywhere and not a quiz to take seriously....

What is your Alter-Ego

or a piercing :)

Take This Quiz!

yeah! cute :)

Take the Purrsonality Quiz!

What Obscure Animal are you?


What obscure band are you?

What Spooky Being are You?

what the?

so, who likes my faerie? i do. i borrowed it from another site, fairyglen, it was their background. i'm sure they dont mind.
sean put it up for me and is hosting it at his site. isnt he lovely. thankyou sean. *taps my foot, louder please, and all together this time thankyou sean

thats better.

i wanted to actually write something in here today, rather than just waffle on about crap and do quizzes. i cant think of anything though. my tummy hurts.

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

yeah! i just typed code and it worked. i rock.

matt will be home soon. he had to start work at 5am today, poor boy. at least he gets to come home early, thats something i spose. another good thing about him coming home early is that i wont have to deal with the dog food people on my own. they talk and talk and talk and say the same thing and they never listen to what i say. hopefully with matt there too, they might take a bit more notice this time.

i'd really like some toast right now. i hate not having any money.

i meant to actually write something today and now i cant think what it is.

six feet under finished last night. not forever, just for this season. i'm dreading to think what will be on now. something totally crap i bet. it does mean i'll get back to sleep earlier, but i'm gonna miss that show. it's become my favourite since buffy finished for the season. it's gonna be hard when they both start back up again. i'm hoping that when they come back they're on a little bit earlier. i can't stay up late anymore. 10:30-11:00 is about my limit. how boring am i? matts like that too now. i dont know how sean and holly stay up till all hours of the morning, and on the computer too. i know its a really easy time waster but my eyes start to hurt if i stare at the screen tfor too long, especially at night time and especially especially when i'm tired.
i'm glad that the new season of queer as folk is on. i fell in love with that show the second i started watching it. mikey is so sweet. i really like all of the characters. sharyn said taht rory ( the MOST homophobic guy in the world) watches it with her but wont admit taht he likes it. he watches and watches and then when theres a sex scene or a kissing scene he makes all these disgusted noises, but he still watches. you know what they say about the people who hate it the most.....
"i didnt cum in you steve, i swear" lmao
i probably didnt get that quote right but i dont care. jay and silent bob rock.
i emailed cam today to congratulate him and wish him well for his wedding which im guessing is around now.

matts home! seeya
i just sent sean a version of that song wit hme singing just by myself. he is the only person, apart from my mum and henk who heard it over the phone last night, and my boys who have to hear it all the time, who've heard it. scary stuff.

i updated prickles first single. it now has a new name, (you could have had) every girl in every school, and also a new second verse.
please tell me what you think

oh, and by theway, dont even think about stealing them, ok

Monday, September 16, 2002

If I lived in Middle-Earth, it would be in:
Lothlorien or Rivendell

You prefer the tranquilty and peacefulness of nature and enjoy the milder seasons of the year. While you know it is necessary to keep in contact with other living beings, most of the time you enjoy the seclusion of an aesthetically pleasing, woodland environment.

Who's Your Josie & The Pussycats Alter-ego?
href="">Who's Your Josie Alter-ego?

which literary heroine are you?
href="">Which Literary Heroine Are You?

I'm a carrot! Loved by young children everywhere who are forced to eat their vegetables ~.^ I'm very open to anything that might oppose my general beliefs. I love to help and be helpful in anyway I can, I'm such a great vegetable!

Take the Vegetable Quiz at!
by Krysten!

i like carrots

What punctuation mark are you? Find out at!
by Krysten

i find, that, generally, i am an avid, if not, 'over'user of the humble, yet necessary, comma

You aren't the most popular person in the world, but you aren't exactly alone everyday. You've got a good, close circle of friends who are all probably llamas too. You're the type that really just doesn't give a shit about where you stand on the popularity scale, and you're better for it. Some of those "popular" dudes probably mistake your carelessness for jealousy, and therefore label you something you aren't. Feh, to hell with them, I say.

How Much of a Loner Are You?

Take the quiz at [clinically insane]

You are Kurt Cobain. You supposedly drugged yourself, wrote a suicide note and proceeded to shoot yourself in the mouth. The controversy? You were THREE TIMES over 'legally drugged', still managed to put away your needle, write a suicide letter and manipulate a shotgun to kill yourself. It just doesn't seem humanly possible. And another thing, Dylan Carlson, your drug buddy, neglected to show PI's the room in which you were later found dead in. Ooh. You didn't commit suicide, buddy. "Conspiracy" is written all over this unsolved mystery.

Which "Dead" Artist Are You?

Take the quiz at [clinically insane]

random complaint : elijah is a sooky sooky la la

You're a loner. Friendless, bullied and tortured, you've really got nothing going for you, apparently. Maybe if you were smarter, you could join the brain group, or if you were more athletic, you could be a jock. Hey, at least that way you'd have a group of people to be around.

Which High School Label Do You Fit?

Friendless, bullied and tortured, you've really got nothing going for you, apparently.

Take the test at [clinically insane]

funny things that have happened today :

mark emailed me...well, ok, thats not funny exactly but its 'fun' and it made me smile
matt sent a message to my mobile that said 'i love you sexy EH boy', but i never got it, so someone else did. lmao
when i was getting dressed this morning, xander said, 'i love your little boobs, mummy'

i decided that it was about time i gave you poor people a break with the loading time of my page and actually wrote something that did'nt contain quizzes. it's hard to believe, i know, i can hardly believe it myself, but here i am, doing it. wow. anyway, over the weekend, matt and i wrote the second of our 5 part song writing commitment. we are going to write 5 songs, record them onto tim's four track and send them to blank tapes which is a guy who will basically put anything on his compilation cds. i mean anything. we have one of his compilations and.....yeah....we have a really good chance of getting on there.
a few weeks ago i previewed our first song, slight of hand. the words are a bit changed around now, and theres an extra verse, so its actually more of a song now. it wont be our first single. it's too slow and a bit too sad. we still like it though.

slight of hand

never saw you till you went away
grabbed your things and headed for the train
bracelet fell from your wrist to the floor
i picked it up i wish i could have more

part of you is mine
always with me, always on my mind

now every face i see today is yours
i picture you behind unopened doors
but in my dreams i guess you'll have to stay
at least that means you'll never go away

part of you is mine
always with me, always on my mind

circle small, don't want to stretch it
won't fit for me, your hands are smaller
you're slight of hand
slight of hand

and our second song which we wrote on the weekend is going to be our single. well, we're thinking of releasing a double a side and doing most of it ourselves. my idea is that we buy a big sheet of card, im thinking a nice piece of recycled, hand pressed paper, and cutting it on the guillotine at matts work, then folding it into a pocket for the cd, and then a cover, and stamping something on it, or using the cut out star i've got, or something like that. and if we use the star, i want to put the star that we punch out in the packaging somewhere.
our band is called prickle, and i want to call our first ep pretty and sharp, but matt doesnt like that. it's not like he's coming up with any ideas of his own though. anyway, second song.

(you could have had) every girl in every school

i thought your car was really cool
so did every girl in every school
i saw you once at the deli up the street
every day since i hoped that we would meet

punk rocker EH boy
had a denim jacket
and a wicked smile
never met a boy with eyes so blue
and a car that still judged speed by miles

speed by miles

i bought a mars bar to be just like you
i kept the wrapper till it faded through
its just the stupid kind of thing i do
trivial treasures of my crush on you

punk rocker EH boy
had a denim jacket
and a wicked smile
never met a boy with eyes so blue
and a car that still judged speed by miles

speed by miles

waited on the corner for you to drive past
thought about waving but you went too fast
waited on the corner for you to drive past
thought about waving but you

on the last line, matt wants to put an effect of a car driving past really quick so it sounds like i really do miss him.

hee hee

well, i tried my hand at a bit of um, you know, cant think of the word right now. lets see if it works

update : its called code, and no, it didnt work because blogger spells centre wrong

Saturday, September 14, 2002

ok, i'm doing more quizzes, but only because i promised jas that i would. riiiiight, like *thats* the only reason. it's one reason. another reason is that i dont really feel like watching toy story AGAIN, and i've read the magazine alreadya dn now its matt's turn. so theres only eating, drinking, sleeping or blogging to do. ok ok, that might be an exaggeration too, but you guys should know me now, i'm not one for telling it like it is.

i am

microsoft OS are you?

What Retard are you?

yep, i know, i'm going to hell. but you know what? i'll have a lot of friends down there when i get there. i'm sure i wont be lonely and that we'll have a lot of stuff to do cos all the guys that make these quizzes will be there too and i bet there are computers in hell....well, not macs, huh sean, cos they are beautiful and perfect, but im sure there'll be a couple of pcs down there. as long as they look like mine, i'll be fine.

i dont believe in god, how can i believe in hell?

Which Creme Saver Are You?

Brought to you by Ying of tian-caiNET!

Which Star-Crossed Marvel Lover Are You?

i dont know who i am, but i devour planets, man!

i had my niche.
intelligent. creative. or artistic.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)

hmmm...i'm sure i painted something like that once

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

hee hee yeah! *starts blowing kisses to passers by*

Lola Rennt (Run, Lola, Run) Symbolism: Clocks

what movie symbolism are you? find out!

The only book which doesn't take place in Narnia at all, per se, you're the story of a voyage to find the end of the world and hopefully the Seven Lost Lords (remember Rhoop!). You contain some of the most unique people and places and beautiful descriptions of the whole series.

Find out which Chronicles of Narnia book you are.

You are Taylor, the dreamer.

Take the 'Which Hanson are You?' Quiz (by Michelle :)

cool, i'm the pretty girl.

Friday, September 13, 2002

there are over 85000 100's and 1000's in my jar of 100's and 1000's. i could hazzard a guess that there are close to that many living inside my keyboard as well
update on my family :

me : my tongue is sore around my tongue bar. i dont know why. also, my back still hurts in the exact same spot as it has since thursday of last week
matt : tired tired tired boy. keeps falling asleep, even while SVU is on!
xander : cant say a sentence without coughing
eli : cough snot cough snot cough snot cough snot etc etc
daisy : sooky cos everyone is sick and cant play with her

i walked down to the post offince this morning to pay my rego and my card wasnt in my purse. i think i left it at shopping last night although i bet its in matts car and he just couldnt find it. i probably should have said 'if i go in there and find it...' like a good mummy, then he would have found it.
i also bought a sweet little doll for holly for 50 cents and posted a letter. and its only 12 oclock. i'm quite the productive one today.

im sorry for how slow the page takes to load. im addicted to quizzes, i cant help it. i need to know all thses can see how important it is to know which nsync hairstyle i am, cant you? neither can i but thats the thing with addictions, most of them dont make sense

Thursday, September 12, 2002

click here to take the what's your foo anthem? test!

apparently the foo fighters are gonna be at the big day out next year. i very much hope this is true and that i have enough money to go.

mmmm, dave grohl

So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh?

i've always liked the letter c and i dont think it has anything to do with the fact that my name starts with c. i always wished my name could start with s so that i could write it all fancy and swirly. when i tried to do that with 'c' some people thought that it was an 'e' and so did i even, some times. but then after a while i'd think to myself, 'if people think it's an e, then let them think it. i know what it says and thats all that matters'. i like c better than s now. for a while i wondered if the 'c' and 's' things were something to do with me and sharyn. like, liking sharyn better than i liked myself. i know it's pretty stupid to put so much thought into a letter, but i did so it must have been important to me. maybe it still is since i can remember what i was thinking back when i was in primary school.

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

i like this boy

he should have a comments thing or an email addy.

brett brought me over some videos of us when we were little. it was from about 1984 onwards when we used to do this thing called adventurers and explorers with our dad. it was this thing where every tuesday, i had to go to some girls house with dad and sing a song, read a story and do something crafty. we also had these oath things we had to say.

something like

to be friends forever with my dad
to honour the circle of my family
to better the land in which i live
to love thy neighbour as thyself

and there was one more, but i cant remember

anyway, we'd go on these camps 4 or 5 times a year. there was a summer, autumn, winter and spring camp that was with all the other groups in adelaide, and then a family camp which my dad organised. he had this crappy old video camera. not super 8, cos that would have been cool. and i was watching these videos and seeing myself running aorund as an 8 year old, doing handstands, roller skating, playing games. and all this time, dad is doing all of these things with other girls, and the only time im in the picture is when someone else is. then after a couple of years of video, he hugs me, after i follow him around for ages. he even calls aaron 'bubby' (his nick name when he was a baby) on the family camp and talks to him like he actually does like him. its weird. and he fims mum and keeps the camera on her when she's dancing.
it's really strange seeing all this. i actually look happy in some of those shots. a lot of the time i'm sooky, just like i am now. and in one part i'm wearing a terry towelling shorts/singlet set in pink and navy blue. my bum looks hot for a 10 year old.

dancing spidey

yeah! look at him move! go spidey, go spidey, go spidey

*cue intricate group routine*

dancing characters


little faerie girl
sat in her kitchen
eating a bowl of salad
she stuck in her fork
and pulled out a carrot
and said
hey, im not doing too bad with this diet thingo
i am

what sexual performer are you?

what is with the answers to the sex quizzes. i am not sick as shit perverted and i so could not rewrite the karma sutra, unless it was about different sleeping positions, then i could write a best seller.

i am

href="">what poo are you?

hee hee, thats half a poo
you are a book called

dr. seuss book warped you?

i love quizzes

:: how jedi are you? ::

yeah! han rocks!

Go Faeries!!

Take the What Faery Are You? Quiz!

This quiz was made by lia

i of course didnt get this one but i thought it was funny

Go Faeries!!

Take the What Faery Are You? Quiz!

This quiz was made by lia

well, i checked my letter box and there it was. a postcard for matt from niagara falls. well beth, i dunno, maybe matts theory about it being posted to sean was wrong. or maybe....yeah, hang on, i think i'm getting somewhere here....yep....maybe the reason it took so long to get here even though they were all posted on the same day was because it did get to seans, and he didnt get around to burning it cos he was checking my blog first (cos, you know, everyone out there are avid readers of my goings on), he saw that we'd cracked his scheme and posted it off again, thus getting it here without too mush suspicion. *nods knowingly* yeah, so what do you think about that huh??? or, yeah, i know, it could be because the postal system is sucky. i mean, thats a possibility, but so is our theory, so there. ner.

ow my back is sore

both my boys are sickies. eli is sleeping all the time and when he wakes up he's all drowsy and falling over and looks like he's gonna sleep again at any minute and they're both coughing and snotting everywhere. poor guys. its hard to explain to xander that running around outside naked isnt going to help him get better. he says he likes being sick cos he likes the medicine.

i've still got a headache. grrr

i was supposed to go to a massage class on how to help with headaches yesterday, but i forgot. the car seats were in matts car too, but i probably shouldnt have gone even if i could with the boys being sick.

so today i have more washing to do and i have to wash the floors. i dont know how i'm going to fit everything in my room again cos we changed it around the other night and now i dont have a dressing table which means all my clothes at the moment are squashed into a draw and a shelf and thats it. i dont even have a bedside table. right now i have some cute little old suitcases there, but they arent that sturdy realy. i need a funky little bedside dram thing, i think. maybe i'll go op shopping again this weekend and see what i can pick up. i'm pretty sure the market is on this sunday, there might be something there.

xander is doing a poo and he's amking a face like cameron from ferris bueller.

and on that note, seeya later :)

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

la la la lala la la la lalala la laaa laaa laaa lalalaaaa
i found this in another blog

Friend . . .
When you are sad... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue... I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile... I'll know you finally got some.

When you are scared... I will tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick... stay away from me until you're well again.

When you fall ... I will try to keep from laughing.

This is my oath. I pledge 'til the end.
Why you ask?
Because you're my friend.

Send this to five of your closest friends. Then get depressed because you realize you only have 2, and one of them is not speaking to you right now.

And remember, always:
A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.

Monday, September 09, 2002

i just scanned my hair and sent it to sean. it turned out more red than purple and it actually looks ok there.
i was doing a search for something the other day and came across a site called margarine - americas favourite spread. i find that disgusting, ( or as xander would say, biscusting). it's not honey, or peanut butter, or jam, its margarine. and would you like me to tell you something? well, you know, you probably wouldnt but i will. margarine isnt really yellow, its grey. they put yellow colouring in it to make it look more appealing. that said, i still eat it, but i think about that everytime i do.
sean and holly's pressie is fiiin-isshed. and it's about time. i'm quite happy with the contents of this one and i think they will be too. xander even made something for them and it's so funny. i'd just like to point out at this point for sean and holly to remember that i didnt help him or offer any advice at all in these things, it was all him. i simply wrote what i was told.

Sunday, September 08, 2002

i signed up with a website called school friends. it's so weird seeing all those names there. like i walked into bizarro world, i mean, my first real boyfriend was did i write that without laughing? its not like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. the funniest thing about that relationship that i remember is hanging around in the change rooms after PE and i think it was danuta jablonska? maybe, said she'd give me a dollar if i went out with him. and then afterwards she said she couldnt pay me because if she did she would be contributing to my first steps into prostitution. lmao.
my first real real boyfriend is in there too. *waves to mark :)*
what's weird is that most of us are married/with someone and have kids. like, not just one, but 2 or 3. oh, and for anyone who's visiting from that site and is wondering how sharyn is doing, (yes we're still friends), she's living with her boyfriend and has two kids called isaac and cooper, who are around the same ages as my boys and NO we didnt plan it.
i dont think anything will come of me adding my name there. i doubt people would be looking for me for any particular reason. also, i doubt many people have paid the $19.95 to actually write to people so we'll all sit there and check our messages and wait for people to write and nothing will happen. i dont know what i'd do if someone did try to contact me. it's not like i had a huge circle of friends at school anyway, but....would be nice to see jake again....
although, in a totally selfish and self serving way, i would like to take this chance to say to the boys of my year 12 home group, (well, to anyone who thought that plaits and cord pants werent the 'right' thing to wear) i am SO ahead of fashion.....falls about laughing, teehee
is there any reason at all why i eat when im not hungry and that i eat things i dont een feel like? i think thats why i got into the habit of eating so many mandarins. i'd eat a few kilos a week, id say. as well as because i like them, its so i dont eat crap instead cos i dont even think when im eating, i just eat. pisses me off.
i dyed my hair today. i dunno if i like it. its that cinnamon colour but it's not exactly what i'd call cinammon. its more like purpley red. and matt cut it too, so its all short, above my shoulders and prupley red. hmm....dunno.....maybe

Saturday, September 07, 2002

ow. my eyes hurt and i'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. i've just sent 3 hours in front of the computer finishing some of sean and holly's presents. at least they're done now. stupid computer stuffed it up a bit, but its ok. i could do it again, but i'm way too tired...

ninight, sweet dreams, i love you, see you in the morning

Friday, September 06, 2002

i just realised that if i colour my hair cinnamon, sean might be allergic to me

*runs off giggling*
complaints for the moment:

every single mandarin i have eaten today has had an average of 4 pips per piece
my back is the sorest it has been in a long long while, even compared to while i was pregnant
panadol doesnt work, i dont care what the packets say, i'm taking 6
my house is messy, no matter how much i clean it
it'd be nice to wash my hair today but i doubt i'll be able to
i bought a hair dye cos it was on special but i dunno if im game enough to do it....hang on, i'll see if theres a website with the colour..
ok, there is but there isnt a link to copy. it's cinnamon from loreal feria, number 55....dunno about it yet
and enetation being on and offy

ok, thats all for now
return to your places of business















































we went to the show yesterday. i've woken up with a headache, and eli was delirious last night. he cried through the night but put himself back to sleep. i realised in the morning that it was because he had spewed all over himself. poor little guy. bad bad mummy.
i got the new woman showbag after seeing the faerie winks one and realising, even though i knew before, that there was no way in the history of the world that i was going to fit into any of it. but matt bought me too tiaras, so that made up for it. they are both silver and one has purple feathery bits and the other one has blue. he also bought me a pretty necklace. we spent a total of $120. really, it was only $20 because matts mum gave us $100, but i still feel bad. xander went on some rides. one he cried and kept saying, 'ive had enough, i've had enough' and the other he had a very solem face until about 5 seconds before it finished when he started smiling. we paid $5 and he had a go on this game where you get a hook on a stick and you have to catch these plastic ducks and they have a number under them. he got a pack of three cars and a water pistol. you should have seen his face when he got the water pistol. that made the whole day worth it. ive been saying no to guns of any kind for so long now. the only ones he's played with really are the weapons with the star wars guys, but we take them away after a while. he was squirting everyone and he's even given up his morning tv to be outside and squirting the dog. me: 'did you squirt daisy?' xander: 'with my water pistol, that's what i do :)'
matt got a cantina band member mask for $15. matt: 'i'm incorrectly named, barquin dan'. and we got a couple of things for some certain someones. we looked everywhere for the pretty girly bags for holly but there didnt seem to be any. i took my list and everything and i only found a couple that she wanted, so i got her a tried and true one. she'll love it. matt is jealous of seans showbag. he wanted to open it and i said no. all day yesterday, xander kept saying, 'dont touch that dad, that's seans'.
you should have heard eli when we saw all the piglets. he went off. kicking and pointing and yelling some incoherrant babble. there was this huge mummy pig, and all these babies fighting to get milk from her. most of them had a little system where there was a bottom row of piglets, and a top row that was directly on top of the bottom row, so all you saw was two little curly tails on top of each other. reminded me of something on a cd that matt was sent.... they were just laying right on top with their foor little legs on either side of the bottom ones. and then there were the extras digging around wherever they could. elijah was stoked. he liked the cows and the chickens too. i took him into the hands on part, the agricultural learning centre, and i got to hold a baby chicken. and i showed eli and he almost ripped its head off with excitement. xander got the hot wheels showbag and eli got the thomas showbag and we are going to share some bertie beetle, cherry ripe, fruit tingles and smarties bags.
all in all, a huge waste of money but a good day anyway :)

holly emailed me. well, she emailed matt and i to say that she got to california safe and well, which i am so proud of her for. and she said that if either of us wanted to write to her, we could. i thought that was nice. i wonder if she got matts card yet or not. he sent it to her hotmail addy incase she couldnt get into her normal mail, but she didnt say anything. i hope she likes it.

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

i'm really about ready to lock myself in a nice padded room. at first i thought about locking xander in there, but then i realised that i probably wouldnt even need a pillow in a padded room. all i'd need would be a few good books, a cd player and some good music. and my computer. and a kettle, tea bags, honey, bread, a toaster, some water, milk, butter, a fridge to keep the milk and the butter cold, and a blanket...oh and a spoon and a knife. hang on, thats not really, 'all i'd need'. it'd probably be a better idea getting my kitchen padded and locking myself in here. and sounde proofed too so i wouldnt have to listen to the kids banging and screaming at the door.
well, i have a bit of research to do before i can finish seans present. i need to make it as realistic but crap as possible. this is kinda hard, but once you get started, pretty easy. i did it with the 100% authentic aussie kit i made for his last present. i thought it looked pretty authentic from the outside, and the little animals were good too. it was just the back drop that made it crap and that was my favourite part.

Tuesday, September 03, 2002

it's sun showering :) that always makes me smile. it reminds me of one day when i was little, i must have been in year three or younger....from my memory of where i was standing, my guess is year two, and there was a sun shower and heaps of us kids started laughing and running around on the quadrangle in the rain. it's a happy memory.
i finished my 100's and 1000's just then. i was glad to have had so many pieces of faerie bread. and im glad that i was the one who finished it. is that selfish? probably, but sometimes mummy's deserve something a little special.
i hate the bank. i went to get money out today to buy the kids a treat for being so good and it said we had zero dollars. nice way to scare me ATM! when i got home and rang the bank it turns out that i had $14, so, since $20 is the minimum it showed up as no money. stupid way of doing it. anyway, i listened to the last transactions and they were a $5 and $2 miscellanious debit. which means fees. if they hadnt taken them out the boys could have had something nice. stupid bank.
matt wants to have another baby. i told him he has to either build me another room on this house or buy me a new house, THEN we'll think about another baby. my money is on us not having a baby.
mary is very happy with how im going. i dont have to go back and see her for another 3 weeks. she said she's proud of me for what i have achieved since starting to see her. she can see a definate difference and it's for the better. she talked to someone she knows about reporting sexual abuse. and this person said that i would have to talk to someone and have a statement taken down, then they'd look at it and see if theres enough evidence to convict. if there is, they will, if not then my statement goes on record. i dont know whether i will or not. i know for sure that there isnt enough evidence to do anything cos i never went to the doctor about anything and i didnt say anything until years after it happened. and i dont know if i can go through saying everything that happened if nothing is going to be done about it. it goes on record, i know, but what does that mean? its not going to stop him from doing it to someone else. mary said i have to stop looking up his address. i told her there's only one person listed with his name, but it isnt his initial. she's trying to convince me that its probably not him then. but his name isnt common, its a relative of some kind. or it means he's got a silent number, no phone, or he's living with some other woman and doing stuff to her kids. i told mary that and she said that he may well be but i shouldnt worry about that. but of course i do cos i feel like if i had done something then that i could stop things from happeneing to other people. i'm supposed to keep telling myself it isnt my fault.

Monday, September 02, 2002


-- Click Here To Take The Test --


that was from eli. he knows how to say dont touch. he even says it when he's touching something he shouldnt so he knows what it means. i guess he just doesnt like to do it when other people tell him. all males have selective hearing, dont they?

anyway. it's weird weather today. its hot, but cold. and its dull and bright at the same time. i think summer is coming. there were mozzies everywhere last night, and it was 11 pm and we went outside to feed daisy and it was still warm. when i woke up this morning i was warm too, even though it looked cold outside. yeah, summer is coming, spring at least. i'm looking summery today. i have a little white singlet on and blue and white thin cotton three quarter pyjama pants. you know when i was writing that sentance i forgot the e on white both times. anyway
we had a pretty good weekend...oh hang on, my toast just popped... ok. yeah, on saturday matt hung the laundry door. when matts parents got a door hung at their house it took the guy a day and a half and cost them $500. matt did it in half a day, and got it first go. tradesmen dont know anything....aaah, my matty is a handy man :)
i made a nice dinner on saturday night. we had four cheeses pasta, broccolli, peas, corn and carrots, and chicken wrapped in bacon, oh, and garlic bread. it was really nice. yum.
on sunday it was fathers day. matt loved his presents, obviously. i cant remember if ive written what we got him, and i cant be bothered checking so i'll just say. we bought him a carton of beer and a nice t shirt. he loves the t shirt. he wore it yesterday and he's wearing it again today. the beer, well, you should have seen his face. cartons come in two 12 packs now, so i wrapped them seperatley. so i gave him one, and he opened it, and he was smiling and smiling, and he says, 'man, i love these little mini cartons' and i said something like, yeah, they're cute arent they, ok, heres the rest of your present. and it clinked as i picked it up and he just started laughing and calling me a knob. we went to the markets and got a few things. a zurg for xani, and its a real one too, not a macdonalds one, and it still makes its sabre noise, as xander calls it. was only $2 as well, so thats even better. and i also picked up a little ham the pig, and bullseye the horse for 20 cents each. AND something little and cute for holly. i really need a baby girl you know, holly is gonna end up with so much little girl stuff cos i just cant resist buying it.
then we went to matts parents for lunch cos his grandpa was out of the nursing home for fathers day. we had baby spinach (mmmmmmm) and snow pea salad with real parmesan cheese, roasted tomatoes, which, might i say, ROCKED. there was avocado but i gave mine to matt. home made chips/wedges on the side, and swordfish wrapped in proscuittio. SO GOOD. matt had hte one piece of salmon, but i got two pieces of swordfish so thats ok. there was chicken too but i was so full. not full enough to stopmyself eating half of the fruit platter. i dont feel guilty for pigging out on fruit though.
we watched crazy/beautiful last night. kirstin dunst is hot. yep...cant say much else about the movie...kirstin dunst is hot
i got a nice card from sean this morning. i wish i had a bum like hers. like, a bum like hers for my own bum, not just a bum like hers laying around in my house for me to look at and wish i could somehow join it to my body and get rid of my bum. where are thses thoughts coming from? i think i need another cup of tea