Saturday, August 30, 2008

about to go to miffy and lukes party, but need more toast with honey before i can leave the house

Sunday, August 24, 2008


went to see the whitlams with sharyn last night. came up with more 'teh funniest things eva!' to go along with 'asha and her white baby' and 'does she have legs'.

whitlams were great, as always, putting in their full 85%. some stupid girl pushed her way through to stand behind sharyn and i, sang badly and talked loud through the songs. what she also did was spill red wine down the back of my white cardigan.

what. an. idiot. said hermione

i could feel it on my neck. i thought, maybe its not much? maybe its just beer? perhaps its just water, then i saw her out the corner of my eye. wine. i turned to her and said 'can you please not spill your wine on me again' and she laughed, patted my shoulder and said something drunk at me. i tried to just keep singing along, but i could feel it wet on my back, so i took it off and saw a big, purple splotch in the middle, on the shoulder, and drips between.

'if she spills again, im going to punch her'
'i've got your back' says sharyn. again, another funny to add to the list

so many good songs, so many old songs too, which was great.

then it finished, and i considered asking the girl to buy me a bottle of soda water to try and soak my top in. i turn around and she's apologising, saying she feels really bad and wants to give me money for my top.


'here, i feel really bad. take this'

and i got $20. top only cost me 15, but i realy liked it, and it was one of the white things i'd managed to keep white since i got it. hadn't spilled a thing on it. and if any of you know me, thats a miraculous accomplishment. so i took the $20, asked the bar girl for a cup of soda water, and soaked my top while we drank a glass of water and decided what to do next.

jak was at the merch desk, and remembered us. he said that supermild was shit and that he was probably just gonna go to bed, so we turned to leave and saw bobby flynn. kirsty loves bobby, so i talked to him so i could tease her and say 'i talked to bobby flynn'. i told him i enjoyed his show and he said 'thanks, thanks for that' and put his hand on my shoulder. sharyn and i ran, giggling from the gov, and i got my phone out so i could text kirsty and say that bobby flynn touched me

'tell her he touched your boob'
'yeah, like he reached for my shoulder and i turned a bit and he touched my boob by accident'
'hehe, no, say bobby flynn touched your boob, on purpose'
'baaahahaa, bobby flynn touched my vagina'
'baaahahahahahahaha, bobby flynn touched your vagina'
'ok, ive written 'bobby flynn touched my vagina... i mean shoulder'
'excellent. aaah, we're so funny'
'why do they bother with comedians when they already have us?'

we walked back to the car, shazz got changed on the side of the road, and we went into town, found an awesome park, and began drinking. while in the car, three 19 year old boys (one, who when he found out how old we were, suddenly became 22, 23, turning 24 on tuesday) walked past, looking for the party train. one of them had the wonderful talent of weeing while he walked. how clever!

the line up for gosh (line up!)we had to listen to the most annoying girl in the world who just kept talking and wouldnt shut up, and we met a nice boy called todd who was into roots music, the whitlams, was the king of the line, thought we were 26 and loved kids.

inside? inside i had the boringest gosh ever. music wasnt good, apart from penny lane, people were shit, drunk girls kept dancing on me, and some chick had her boob out while some loser was pashing her

we went home early

*possible actual lie
p.s. soaked mycardi in peroxide and bi carb over night, cant even see the stain. 20 bucks, wooo

Friday, August 22, 2008

say hi to them for me

today i learned a couple of things

if humble bee ever wanted to become childrens entertainers, we'd be a total hit. a couple of months ago i gave my doctor a cd with some songs on it. she played it in the car on the way home with her kids, and when it finished her kids asked for it again. she told them it was one of her patients singing. apparently her coolness rating went up a few notches because she knows someone famous.

second thing i learned today is that contrary to what a doctor i dont even remember told me years ago, after speaking to me for about two minutes, i dont actually have borderline personality disorder.

so, thats a bit of good news

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

wtf neighbours

weird 3 and 4 screen shots when people are on the phone, but strangely only when its libby? dean geyer is a creepy stalker? jane hall is running around feeling boys chests like its a normal every day occurrence?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

have decided i dont want to be in the obese section of the bmi graph. im heading that way. all i have to do is get a bit shorter or a bit fatter and i'll be there

(notice how there is no star where i am? im not that open about myself. you can guess.... guess nice!)

so, this morning i got up, had two glasses of water and a banana, put on a cd, and decided to attempt some sort of exercise.

soundtrack to my foray into weightloss, brought to you by the pipettes

1. we are the pipettes: jogging, entire song
2. pull shapes: no longer able to jog. decide to march on the spot with big swinging arms
3. why did you stay: this is bullshit. i feel like im going to die. go and make cup of tea and some muffins
4. dirty mind: get angry that i gave up after two songs and do some stretches, lunge things, interpretive dance while muffins cook. mmm, cheese, mmm
5. it hurts to see you dance so well: coughing fit
6. Judy : coughing, eating
7. Winters Sky : coughing, eating
8. Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me : coughing, eating
9. Tell Me What You Want : coughing, eating
10. Because It's Not Love (But It's Still A Feeling) coughing
11. Sex : coughing
12. One Night Stand : coughing
13. ABC : coughing
14. I Love You : coughing
15. Dance and Boogie : feel like i could cough for longer. yep. just coughed
16. Baby, Just Be Yourself : last song of the cd. well done me! not coughing. still feel like i will. now drinking cup of tea, settled in front of heater and computer

exercise is for idiots

Monday, August 18, 2008

im getting increasingly madder at how cold it is

i found a spelling mistake on a sign at ikea today

daim is good

i have a phone now, so if your number has a 6 in it, i can now call you

but only after it charges

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Thursday, August 14, 2008

ticking things off

things i should be doing

1.anything other than what i am doing my house *mums gonna help me do that on saturday*
3.buying a mop *tick*
4.folding clothes
5.eating healthy *ate an actual dinner tonight - satay chicken and rice*
6.finishing my book *done*
7.paying more attention to things that matter, rather than focusing on things i cant do anything about
8.looking at different websites than the ones i do
9.wearing socks *wearing some right now*
10.brush my teeth *did so this morning, will do so again tonight. two ticks*
11.getting my mobile fixed
12.making new friends
13.attempting to catch up with old friends *hung out with sharyn on tuesday*

additions to list

14. finish new book
15. write more songs
16. do some sort of band practice
17. take band practice seriously
18. not too seriously, as per promise
19. drink more water
20. dont send email
21. make sure i clean the house on saturday
22. keep eating better
23. listen to my phone when it tells me 'go for a walk you fat lazy pig'
24. use mop
25. stop complaining
26. try and get along better with voldemort (this is a two way street. phone conversation tonight was a good start) (ie the fact that he actually called, and we had an actual conversation)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

osborn: so what r u pretty much caring bout right now?
me: im over caring about eeeeeeeeeeeeverything
osborn: eeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttthhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg?????????? is that whale talk?
me: humpback
osborn: lol
me: we are so parents
osborn: yes we are

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

can he stop you from defecating in public places?

sharyn and i are going to see the whitlams in a couple of weeks. should be good. havent seen a band in a while. im gonna see if jak and pai wanna come to gosh with us after :) hmm, yeah, i dont think they will, but we can hope.

i want to watch 'love is a four letter word' again. so great. if anyone has it, may i please borrow it? im searching youtube for it at the moment, but i doubt i'll have much luck

Sunday, August 10, 2008

things i should be doing

1.anything other than what i am doing my house
3.buying a mop
4.folding clothes
5.eating healthy
6.finishing my book
7.paying more attention to things that matter, rather than focusing on things i cant do anything about
8.looking at different websites than the ones i do
9.wearing socks
10.brush my teeth
11.getting my mobile fixed
12.making new friends
13.attempting to catch up with old friends

things i do rather than the things in the above list

1.sit around
2.drink tea toast
4.look at the same websites over and over, hoping for something new
5.check email
6.see that there is no email
7.check it again animal crossing
9.think about all the stuff i should be doing
10.decide i'll make a list of stuff i should be doing
11.think about how i take more time thinking about doing stuff than actually doing anything
13.try to sleep
14.pick up my phone to message people
15.only put it back down without messaging 50% of the time
16.teach my animal crossing friends to say helpful things like 'no text!' and 'dont msg!'
19.realise there are more things on my 'stuff i do' list than on my 'stuff i should be doing' list, and feel a little bit ok about that, because at least im doing stuff
"ok, well, im not good. im sick of being alone, and im sick of loving someone who doesnt love me back. i have no news, because everything that seems like it could turn out well, goes to shit. i was gonna go to europe in january with my band, but now we cant afford it, i met a guy who seemed really nice, and he found out i had a mental illness and doesnt want to know me. im cold, and im sad and im lonely and i feel like thats how i'l be for the rest of my life

does that make you feel better?"

probably isnt the nicest email you'd want to get, but 'im fine' apparently wasnt cutting it. i cant lie to him. i tried. im fine, i said. dont worry about me. no, whats wrong? i want more than one line. well then, thats what you get.

my babies come home tomorrow, i'll get hugs then

Thursday, August 07, 2008

the reason why

carly says:
how impressive do i sound on paper
MedusA says:
I dunno, I've never heard you on paper
carly says:
well, im talking to this guy, and hes asking about me, so im saying i work in a library, im rehearsing a play at the moment (just plays? actually i was an extra in a film on tuesday) and i play in a band. i've travelled throughout europe and am thinking of going back there to play gigs
MedusA says:
yeah, you sound good
carly says:
so why do only dickheads like me?
MedusA says:
carly says:
oh yes
i forgot about that reason

Monday, August 04, 2008

you cant
you cant
no matter how hard you try

Friday, August 01, 2008

it started with a fight

an argument, really, which lead to a fight. one called the other a weener. the other turned into a skinny ball of muscle and started beating the bigger one around the kitchen. both started yelling.

i guess it really started before that, when i asked them both to get ready for bed. 'toilet and teeth'. apparently 'toilet and teeth' means 'stand in the kitchen and stare at the wall.

or maybe it started before then, when i asked them to put their dishes on the sink, and they both ignored me and continue with their loud, continuous argument over which jimmy neutron character they were, and which one was better.

in any case, it ended with me grabbing my phone

'right, thats it, no more grandmas tomorrow'
'just him? or both of us?'
'both of you'
'because you are both incapable of behaving, and therefore shouldnt be allowed nice treats'
'hear this?'
'thats me not talking to you'

*on the phone* (without really dialling) 'hi, its carly, how are you?.....yeah, good thanks, um, we wont be coming up, the boys have been too naughty.....yeah....yeah, i know......i would have loved to, but they just wont listen to me......ok, yep...ok, no worries, have a nice weekend, bye.....bye'

*in bed 10 minutes later*

'did you really ring grandma?'
'what do you mean, did i really ring her?'
'did you ring her, or did you just pretend?'
'why would i pretend?'
'if i was an adult, that would be the sort of thing i'd do'
'oh? well then, i'll have to keep that in mind. ninite'

getting far too clever, that kid