BOBBY FLYNN TOUCHED MY VAGINA!*

went to see the whitlams with sharyn last night. came up with more 'teh funniest things eva!' to go along with 'asha and her white baby' and 'does she have legs'.

whitlams were great, as always, putting in their full 85%. some stupid girl pushed her way through to stand behind sharyn and i, sang badly and talked loud through the songs. what she also did was spill red wine down the back of my white cardigan.

what. an. idiot. said hermione

i could feel it on my neck. i thought, maybe its not much? maybe its just beer? perhaps its just water, then i saw her out the corner of my eye. wine. i turned to her and said 'can you please not spill your wine on me again' and she laughed, patted my shoulder and said something drunk at me. i tried to just keep singing along, but i could feel it wet on my back, so i took it off and saw a big, purple splotch in the middle, on the shoulder, and drips between.

'if she spills again, im going to punch her'
'i've got your back' says sharyn. again, another funny to add to the list

so many good songs, so many old songs too, which was great.

then it finished, and i considered asking the girl to buy me a bottle of soda water to try and soak my top in. i turn around and she's apologising, saying she feels really bad and wants to give me money for my top.

'um...'

'here, i feel really bad. take this'

and i got $20. top only cost me 15, but i realy liked it, and it was one of the white things i'd managed to keep white since i got it. hadn't spilled a thing on it. and if any of you know me, thats a miraculous accomplishment. so i took the $20, asked the bar girl for a cup of soda water, and soaked my top while we drank a glass of water and decided what to do next.

jak was at the merch desk, and remembered us. he said that supermild was shit and that he was probably just gonna go to bed, so we turned to leave and saw bobby flynn. kirsty loves bobby, so i talked to him so i could tease her and say 'i talked to bobby flynn'. i told him i enjoyed his show and he said 'thanks, thanks for that' and put his hand on my shoulder. sharyn and i ran, giggling from the gov, and i got my phone out so i could text kirsty and say that bobby flynn touched me

'tell her he touched your boob'
'yeah, like he reached for my shoulder and i turned a bit and he touched my boob by accident'
'hehe, no, say bobby flynn touched your boob, on purpose'
'baaahahaa, bobby flynn touched my vagina'
'baaahahahahahahaha, bobby flynn touched your vagina'
'ok, ive written 'bobby flynn touched my vagina... i mean shoulder'
'excellent. aaah, we're so funny'
'why do they bother with comedians when they already have us?'

we walked back to the car, shazz got changed on the side of the road, and we went into town, found an awesome park, and began drinking. while in the car, three 19 year old boys (one, who when he found out how old we were, suddenly became 22, 23, turning 24 on tuesday) walked past, looking for the party train. one of them had the wonderful talent of weeing while he walked. how clever!

the line up for gosh (line up!)we had to listen to the most annoying girl in the world who just kept talking and wouldnt shut up, and we met a nice boy called todd who was into roots music, the whitlams, was the king of the line, thought we were 26 and loved kids.

inside? inside i had the boringest gosh ever. music wasnt good, apart from penny lane, people were shit, drunk girls kept dancing on me, and some chick had her boob out while some loser was pashing her

we went home early

*possible actual lie
p.s. soaked mycardi in peroxide and bi carb over night, cant even see the stain. 20 bucks, wooo