i have a bottle of painstop for children. i like to read every piece of information on the bottle. actually, thats not entirely true. its not exactly that i like to read it, its like its a decision my brain and eyes make without me knowing. about everything that has words. i read everything. anyway, i digress (me digress? oops, there i go again, digressing). i was reading the bottle, and i come across this

this product may cause drowsiness

ok, thats fine. drowsy kids i can deal with. i'll just stick them in bed, they can drowse away in there, no probs

and then this

if affected do not drive or operate machinery. avoid alcohol

so i took away eli's keys and put the whiskey on the high shelf. i dont want any car accidents around here