dre e e e eam, dream dream dre eam

i start work on tuesday. i'll be working as a librarian. being a librarian was my first wish when asked what i wanted to be when i grow up. now, when i eventually do grow up, i'll be all organised and know what it's gonna be like.
i've gone out and bought some sexy/funky clothes. im so gonna be the favourite librarian around there.



regardless of whether or not i can do my job, people are gonna ask me questions just so they can talk to me. now, i know this for a fact, so stop huffing and guffawing. i just have a quick favour to ask everyone who'll be coming my way in the coming weeks, could you ask me something fun and interesting? please? i hate working. i really do. when i was working at bunnings i averaged one sick day per fortnight purely because i couldnt stand the place. im dreading this happening with my new super sexy library job so i need everyone's help in ensuring i keep interested and unbored.
that said, im subconsciously freaking out about work.
i dreamed (dreamt? as a librarian i should know that. oh well, i'll wait till tuesday to find out, im not a librarian yet, sheesh) i was working. they made me work fucking hard. all day. hours and hours. and hours. and hours and hours. with no break. and by the end of the day i was so achey and sore and tired. i went home and i cried and fell asleep and when i woke up the next morning i realised i'd slept in and even though i was so sore, when they rang me and yeled at me to come in or else i just said yes and left.

eeep

even though i know that im only working 8:30 till 5, and i know i'm having an hour for a lunch but somewhere inside my head im freaking out about working there.

gah

as well as starting work next week, i've also roped my self into NaNoWriMo. it's been a long time since i've had to write with any sort of a time frame. i know i dont have to finish it in the month, but the fact that it is possible, and that i've almost promised myself that i will, well im sure to be making myself feel guilty about it if i dont.
thursday night is the info night for equus. i'm gonna be so tired for that but i have to go. i also have to stop eating bilo brand fake tim tams if i wanna be 'jill'

that big blank space is supposed to be a picture. it sucks. tell it i hate it

i have a bottle of painstop for children. i like to read every piece of information on the bottle. actually, thats not entirely true. its not exactly that i like to read it, its like its a decision my brain and eyes make without me knowing. about everything that has words. i read everything. anyway, i digress (me digress? oops, there i go again, digressing). i was reading the bottle, and i come across this

this product may cause drowsiness

ok, thats fine. drowsy kids i can deal with. i'll just stick them in bed, they can drowse away in there, no probs

and then this

if affected do not drive or operate machinery. avoid alcohol

so i took away eli's keys and put the whiskey on the high shelf. i dont want any car accidents around here

this little boy is acting like the spoiled child he is, stop encouraging him

from glancey (who didnt write back to my email or text message, *sniffle*)

car crash in the blue

i just heard stone me into the groove by atomic swing. hello early 90's (hello carly)

georgie should pack his bags and head for niger

did you vote?? huh?? hey, i dont even know when the US elections are on but i know they're about now. check out this link sent by leeza.

George
Special Ones

Isn't it funny how you never really screamed at my face,
but your anger so unspoken and unchannelled permeates my essence to the point where I
Don't want to see you hear you, be anywhere near you,
you probably think I'm threatened by you but your illusionary power doesn't threaten me
Actually I think it's kind of funny that you create an illusion that is a mirror,
I don't appreciate you and I know that that surprises you
I suppose you see that those who follow their heart always win,
those with integrity have won the match before it's begun

So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my basses first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

Some can see beyond the barrier of threshold whereas others can't see beyond their sculptured mould,
you could offer me nothing, you could offer me nothing that I need
Do you think I'm asking too much?
A kind of respect and trust that shouldn't even be questioned,
how can I open my heart with dishonesty sitting next to me?
I've honoured your honour to the point of embarrassment,
but innocence in the hands of the guilt-free is kicked to, is kicked to the curb
I was ashamed of my innocence,
I was ashamed of my innocence but now with clarity I see that your bullshit is just not worthy of me

So rather than being kicked around, I'm going to kick you to the curb
So rather than being pushed around, I'm going to push you away first
So rather than trying to protect you, I'm going to cover my basses first
So rather than trying to open my heart, I'm going to lock it with a key
So that only the special ones, so that only the special ones, can ever get through to me

I don't want to be angry....
This is not worthy of me and now with clarity I see that I can walk away, I can walk away

a funny feeling

sitting here at my computer, quietly minding my own business by snooping into other peoples (ie reading blogs) i feel a cold wet...something on my lower back. i turn around and eli is sitting on the floor behind me, looking up and smiling. i figure he must have licked me because, for some reason he enjoys doing that. in a lot of ways he's like justin from parenthood "he likes to butt things with his head"
so i turn around again and continue with my perusal and i feel it again. this is definately not the feeling of a three year olds tounge on my back. and i know what that feels like. in a very unsick way, sickos!
i turn around and look down, and ask eli what he's doing

'making you a yogurt bum' he says, holding up his tub of yogurt and a spoon.

err...thanks

----- Original Message -----
From: sandra bilo
To: Carly
Sent: Monday, October 25, 2004 10:33 PM
Subject: call the bank director on how to transfer my late father money intoyour bank account




Dear good friend Carly,
compliment of the season to you infact i dont know how to thak you for yor effort in helping me but i believed you will be happy for the rest of your life for knowing who i am you will never in your lifev regret helping me rather you will gain a lot from me , infact is not that i am silence on you i wasz having a smail problem because my wicked uncle went to the bank to claim this money then the bank director told him that he is not the right person to claim this money that it is i sandra is the right person for the claim the bank director to him that i am the next of kin of my late father that i am the claimer so since that time i dont have chance to go to the computer so please dont be offended now please that is what i was telling you to call the bank so that they will kinow that you are the right person to help me so that another fake person will not come to the bank to claim it please understand me you have to call the bank right now because the bank director told me that if they did not hear from you they will not transfer any money so please and please for the safety of my life and the safety of this money please call the bank director told him that you are calling on my behalf mension my name tell him that you are the right person to help me transfer this my late father money into your account please if realy you want to help me call the bank director immediately you receive this message because delayed is dangeriuos for the safety of my life remember the direct number of the bank director is +22507516392 or 0022507516392 the name of the bank director again is Mr david okita so please call him now if realy you want to help me thanks

i am eagerly waiting for your urgent response that you have contacted the bank director

your good friend

sandra bilo

dear sandy,
your silence worries me. here i am giving you my bank details in good faith and i've not heard from you or seen 10 million US dollars in my account. dont tell me you wee pulling my leg all along?? i specifically went down to the bank and started that account just for you.
that money will realy come in handy for our town. did i tell you where i live? a little coastal town in southern australia. we even have a post office and a bank now. i'm not sure what sort of schooling you're thinking of doing here. you'd have to catch the bus to the city and it takes over an hour, but its ok.
anyway, give me a yell when the moneys gone through. im gonna donate some to the council so they can finish putting the bitumen down on the roads. the dirt is really fucking with my asthma

thanks, love carly

keep on walking, dont look back

next week i am going to the info meeting for the next production opus will be working on. the panto has just had its auditions. we're doing cinderella but as i start work next week i wont be able to make it to the performances. but that means that i can focus on the production i really want to be involved in, which is equus.
here is a pic from the film version of equus. the girl pictured is the role im considering. yep. naked. as harry said, its just another costume, but im still a little iffy about it. i could go for this role. although i'd look cute in the uniform, i feel like i need to push myself. yeah, jill isnt that much of a stretch from any of the other roles i've played, but the whole naked part will be a major stumbling block for me. i'm really not happy with the way i look, and if im going to let a few hundred people see me unclad im gonna have to get happy.
so yesterday i took daisy for a walk around christies beach. we were only gone for just over half an hour because i had the feeling i could just keep walking and not go back.
i cant put my finger on what the actual problem is right now. i guess thats basically what depression is, its just that down feeling. the heaviness that surrounds your head and weighs you down. everything about you seems a little lower. your head is tilted towards the floor, your eyelids dont open as much, shoulders droop. it seems you cant even open your mouth as wide as you used to, and the volume of your voice is lower.
im reading alice in wonderland. when she shrinks down so small to fit through the door but realises she's left the key way up high on the glass table, i can totally relate. here i am, way down here. i can see that there are answers somewhere but the key to fixing the problem is way up there beyond my reach.
there i go again, reverting to faerietales.
i'll keep my eye out for a cake that says 'eat me'

all about me

Name Origin: Latin
Number of Syllables: 2.00
Gender: Female

More interesting facts about the name Carly:

Lucky Number: 5
Ruling Planet: Mercury
Element: Air
Primary Color: Blue
Traits: Active, both physically and mentally. Inquiring, exploring. Fond of reading and researching. Good at languages. Would make a very good teacher, writer, secretary. Makes friends easily. Usually methodical and orderly; adept at simplifying systems.

coming out

i havent written much about the election. even if you arent from australia, you probably would know by now that john howard is still our prime minister.
this bothers me more than slightly.

whoever i meet that says they voted for howard says it was because he'd done such a good job with the economy over the last 3 years. statements like this make me uneasy. it bothers me because 'the economy' is something that the public generally find out by what is written in the newspapers. it isnt something that you can actually experience. i dont know about anyone else but i havent experienced the joy of opening my purse to find extra cash. last night i pulled into the petrol station, opened my purse, saw that i had $7 left the day after pay day and decided that i could go a bit further with my almost empty tank of petrol. $7 isnt going to buy much when you're paying 112.9 cents per litre.

all my bills have gone up. petrol has gone up. it seems like you have to pay more for everything these days. the economy may well be doing ok, but its more than likely because we're paying all this extra money to boost it up.

when i voted i wanted to make a difference to my life. it probably sounds selfish, but im the one who has tolive it so why not make it as comfortable as possible. i wanted better healthcare, more money for schools, a promise to not fuck up the environment anymore than we already have and to fix what we've already done.

another important part of my vote was gay marriage. i cant seem to put my thoughts eloquently enough. i tend to get angry and swear instead of calmly putting my point across.
perhaps you could read this instead

Sadly, it is in such times that great opportunity to lead and rise is lost. Those that preach intolerance and forgiveness and faith miss a wonderful opportunity to include others when they marginalize those who believe differently. It doesn’t take more than 30 seconds into the debate over marriage rights to see that it’s about God. If you believe in God, why don’t you want your brothers and sisters to be happy? If they want to marry, to show their love, why would you deny them this? Because of stories from an old book, which may or may not be true, despite what you might think? We don’t live in ancient times. We live today.

blurbomat

it makes me sad that a person cannot be who they truly are. i was at a 21st birthday party last night for a friend who happens to be gay. he told me earlier in the night that he was thinking of coming out o all of his friends that night. as he stood up to make his speach his mum said something about how he was nervous because he'd been drinking. he stood and said 'im not worried about what i wont say, im worried about what im going to say'. i sat upright and got tingly, 'he's going to do it' i thought. but he didnt. he thanked everyone for coming and stood there with his announcement on the tip of his tongue.
it hurts me that someone who was having such a great time with his friends cant be himslef when it comes to the crunch. i was ready to run to him and hug him tight and tell him how proud i was of him. instead he just smiled and shrugged a little uncomfortably and sat back down again.

if you are unsure about gays...poofs, faggots, lesos, whatever you call them, i'd encourage you to get along to feast. take an open mind and the ability to listen

----- Original Message -----
From: Carly
To: sandra bilo
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2004 1:23 PM
Subject: Re: *****SUSPECTED SPAM***** urgent


ok sandy,
ive had a good think about this. you're obviously very determined, and im sure you're shit scraed of your late father brother so i have decided to help you.
i dont think i need to contact the bank. im sure you are an honest god fearing person who would never lie or trick somebody into doing something illegal.and anyway, as i have absolutely no money i cannot afford the international phone call. im just gonna have to trust you on this one, sandy. you said i was your good friend, and good friends look out for each other, right? wow, i cant wait to meet you. how old are you anyway? will you be continuing your education here in australia? at university or are you still in high school. hang on a sec, im not gonna have to marry you or something weird like that am i?

so here are my bank details

Bank SA
bsb 290-835
account number 229975340

now, how much did you say i'll get from this? i need a new dishwasher and theres a pair of shoes i'd really like to get.
love carly

spam-o-rama

i'm sure you have all been following my little email chats with sandy bilo with excitement and antici pation. i love spamers. well, sometimes. i love the ones who take the time to talk to you nicely and have a real story to tell.
unfortunatley i got an email today that was not nice at all.

i couldnt read the email or see the attachment because my internet company were mean enough to remove it cos they thought it was a virus, yeah right, whatever. whoever heard of viruses being senty by email? you pick them up from trolleys and bus seats, morons. anyway. this email had the subject line : ok cunt.

i take immense offence to that. i do not have an ok cunt. i have a marvellous cunt. its quite pretty, it does its job like a good cunt should. how dare this peter whatsisface accuse my cunt of being just 'ok'. bastard.

peter, you have an average penis

i know where you are

in about 20 minutes you will be in christies beach magistrates court hearing what charges are being laid against you

have a nice day

----- Original Message -----
From: sandra bilo
To: Carly
Sent: Wednesday, October 20, 2004 5:41 PM
Subject: *****SUSPECTED SPAM***** urgent




Dear good friend Carly ,

i receieved your message and i cannot understand you please if you dont want to help me tell me so that i can look for another God fearing person who is capable to help me , infact i can not understand you i told you that my life is in dager that my late father brother is after my life he wanted to kill me so that he can claim this money from me but it seems you dont want to understand me i have gave you the contact of the bank where my late father deposited this money for you to call them but you did not , even i have introduce you to the bank director , he promise me that immediately they here from you they will transfer this money into your account immediately then i will prepare to join you over there to finish my education please i want to here from you please if realy seriuos to help me call the bank for intoduction thanks

i am eagerly waiting for your urgent call after discusion with the bank director

sandra bilo

you're no smiley you're a banana


What Smiley Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

voices in the night

ever woken up and thought you'd just spoken? saturday morning i awoke and laid very still for a few seconds as my brain tried to come to terms with something. did i just speak? did words just come from my mouth? wasnt i just asleep? and then it hit me with full force. my dream came hurtling back to me in excrutiating detail.

running into the shower block. he pushes me from behind against the tiled wall. suddenly we're naked and he's biting into my neck fucking me hard and strong from behind while one hand plays prettily with my clit. he tells me he's going to cum. i say its ok, do it, im on the pill. he bites into my neck again and i wake up

and i wake up and i realise ive just spoken and im pretty sure i called out a nice grunty vowel sound that would accompany such a dream

...yeah

i have eaten all the biscuits

sneaky

eli has worked out how to get whatever he wants no matter what.

he winks.

has anyone out there actually seen a 3 year old wink? once i work out how to put a video on here i'll show you

I Wish That I Was Beautiful For You


I wish that I was beautiful for you
I wish that I inspired tiny fireworks inside the way you do
So delicately made
A prayer left un-prayed
Before the morning sun fades up to blue
And I wish that I was beautiful for you

I wish that I could change things with a pill
For a quick fix modern tonic that would change me with one swallow I would kill
Watch folks line up to pay
To stare at me all day
But I’d turn them all away if that be thy will
One tiny little innocuous pill

But a wish is just a pin in a swimming pool of needles
If for one night you need the room I wish to be your tomb
You can lie in me

It’s possible I have other things you need
But to be worthy of a single page out of one of those magazines you need
As glossy as a mirror
And mirrors never lie
They’re difficult on the eye it’s true
And I wish that I was beautiful for you

I dreamed that we were travelling on a bus
Speeding along an un-named plain between somewhere and nowhere there was us
We came to a stretch of road where a fire
Had burned the edges all along it looked as though the highway wore eyeliner
You kissed me by surprise
But when I opened my eyes
You’d turned into some old guy
I screamed
But don’t forget of all these things I only dreamed

Darren Hanlon

----- Original Message -----
From: Carly
To: sandra bilo
Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2004 9:35 AM
Subject: Re: *****SUSPECTED SPAM***** Waiting to hear from you soonest.


dear sandy,
look, i really hate saying this becuase i despise people who tell me that they are right all the time, but this time you're just gonna have to listen to me. your god is a big fat stinky liar. if he is real, and to you no doubt he is, then he is sitting up there now laughing his ever widening ass off because he has sent you to me.
i am not going to help you. not in a way thats gonna get your money out of your country anyway. all i am going to do is toy with you, laugh at you, and post our conversations on the internet.
perhaps your friend at the bank has an account he is willing to fill up with your US dollars?
i've tried helping you. i offered you other ideas about how to get your money out. from buying a plane to the bizarre notion of getting a bank account of your own. this is not going to work between you and i. if you do somehow manage to get your money to me i will steal it and run away to switzerland where everyone is free and safe. and besides, i need a new watch

lots of love, carly

Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.


What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Form 3, Unicorn: The Innocent.

"And The Unicorn knew she wasn't meant to
go into the Dark Wood. Disregarding the advice
given to her by the spirits, Unicorn went
inside and bled silver blood.. For her
misdeed, the world knew evil."

Some examples of the Unicorn Form are Eve
(Christian) and Pandora (Greek).
The Unicorn is associated with the concept of
innocence, the number 3, and the element of
water.
Her sign is the twilight sun.

As a member of Form 3, you are a curious
individual. You are drawn to new things and
become fascinated with ideas you've never come
in contact with before. Some people may say
you are too nosey, but it's only because you
like getting to the bottom of things and
solving them. Unicorns are the best friends to
have because they are inquisitive.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

today is monday

i would have written yesterday about how fantastic cuckoos nest went this weekend, but i was sleeping. yeah, the whole day. well, i did get up to wee and watch australian idol, but for the most part i was sleeping.

4 tequilas, 2 cowboys, a beer and a cider = a whole day of hangover

but yay, we deserved a fun night. saturday night in particular was a fanfuckingtastic show, crowds of over 100 on both nights and almost 100 for the matinee. i think opus has cemented itself as a quality theatre group now. 2 brilliant shows in a row, and equus and a clockwork orange coming up, we are a force to be reckoned with. i just have to try to decide whether i can be naked on stage for equus...hmmm. yeah, i reckon you peckerheads will come see the show then, wont you. or maybe not.

cast party started at the pub, with them letting us bring our own drinks in which was nice. i spent a lot of the time crawling around on my knees cos it was too damn hard to stand up after i got down there. i won the 'highest score' award for the night, for kissing adam, theo and jarrod in one day, and followed that up by giving all the boys a nice litle kiss. im a good girl, i share. jarred thanked me for being his little whore and told me he'd introduce me to his wife later. they are both so geeky and cute its adorable. cant wait to see their baby all growed up and geeky.
poor kylie tequilad herself into the sink and had some vommies and had to be carried to the carpark and sent home. poor kylie.

we got kicked out at 3 and decided to walk to theos factory and continue the party there. the girls hopped into some trollies and the boys pushed us through the carpark. as we were passing the train station, the amazing gillian drove past and offered us a lift in her van so we all piled in, went to theos, listened to frank sinatra and made shrinkamajigs.

got home at 6am. all in all i had a great night and although i cant wait to do it again, i can wait a little while cos im still sleepy.

----- Original Message -----
From: sandra bilo
To: Carly
Sent: Saturday, October 16, 2004 12:46 AM
Subject: *****SUSPECTED SPAM***** Waiting to hear from you soonest.




Dear,

I received your mail with glad.I really knows that you are a honest cool person that is why i have the trust and confident that you will not let me down after confirming this my only hope money to your bank account that is why i didn't also hesistate to contact you after my praying because,i ask God to give me a reliable person who will not betray me after all is over.so do not fear and rest assured and have trust in God because,with him all things are possible.

Everything is ready and my money is now to be transfer to your bank account.I can explained to the bank director about you and the transfer,he assured me that, there is no problem, that he will do his possible best to effect the transfer to whom ever bank account we provided for the transfer.He told me that he have to be very careful because of the amount involved so that the money will not transfer to the wrong bank account.he also said that you have to contant him as well so that he will confirm and verify that you are the right person before he start any act or proceed with us for the transfer.

So please,just contact him with the contact information below so that he will explain to you in detail how and when the transfer will take place to your bank account.

Bank Name Universal Trust Bank CI
Bank Director Mr David Okita
Bank Website www.utbci.blinks.net
Director Private Tel 0022507516392.

So please,contact him now and get back to me so that i will know the outcome of the discussion and please,try to take everything urgent so that the transfer will take place to your bank account.again,do not forget to tell him that you are calling on mybehalf regarding the transfering of my late father's money to your bank account.You mention my full name and my late father name so that he will know who you are reffering to.

I wait to hear from you soonest after your contact with him.
Thanks with regards,
Sandra Bilo

dear sandra,
i would love to help you out, really i would. there are just a few things that concern me. first of all, why me? i mean, i know im a pretty cool person and all that, but i dont think my name and email address is on some list of people who are likely to help unknown people on the internet. if i am, could i please have the site addy? i'd love to find out how i got there.
you obviously have access to a computer a phone and the internet, couldnt you contact a swiss bank and start up an account there? they're push overs and everyones safe in switzerland. they also make very good watches.

good luck,
love carly

So who else yelled at the tv when the 4400 finished monday night? What was with the trees? Were they bowing? Were they magnetically attracted somehow to the car or the people inside it? And whatever they were doing, why???
So lily was pregnant; alien implant baby I thought. But then we find out baby has sickle cell anemia which apparently means the father must have been black. Enter whathisname who is her boyfriend, another of the 4400, who is black. Ok, makes no sense since they’ve never slept together but he know he was seeing lily’s great grandma in the 50’s or something so we can assume/imagine that somehow their relationship has been zoomed into the future and the child actually does belong to lily and the black guy.
BUT WE DON’T KNOW!!!!!!

stupid television

----- Original Message -----
From: sandra bilo
To: Carly
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2004 8:46 PM
Subject: please i am for real help me




Dear good friend Carly,

i received your message and i am not happy with what you are saying dispite the condition that i am facing here in my country please i know that this message will come to you by surprise but that is life ,infact you can not understand me because it is a long story but please i know that there are some bad person in this world but they dont allow people to know the good one , please my late father was killed by his business associate due to his wealth,, could you belived that my late father wicked brother was among of those who planned and killed my late father , he is after my life he wanted to kill me so that he can claim my late father money from bank that is why i ran into a local hotel for the safety of my life , so please help me i am for real this is 100% risk free just try and see you will never in your life helping me rather you will gain from me please help me out my life is in dager it was that my late father brother who is doing all this to you he dont want me to transfer this money please try to understand me i am for real call me immediately now so that i can give you the contact of the bank where my late father deposited this money for you to call them and verify remember my number again +22507394845 thank

please put away fear from you just try and see this is 100% risk free


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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----- Original Message -----
From: "sandra bilo"
To:
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2004 6:58 PM
Subject: REPLY ME DRIRECT sandra_bilo88@yahoo.fr


The following message was sent to you by another member of
Meetup.com: sandra bilo. The message from sandra bilo is:
-----------------------------------------------------------------
REPLY ME DRIRECT sandra_bilo88@yahoo.fr

PLEASE ASSIST ME +22507394845

FROM :SANDRA BILO

ABIDJAN,IVORY COAST

NOTE:PLEASE KINDLY REPLY ME WITH THIS MY DIRECT EMAIL
sandra_bilo88@yahoo.fr

DEAR,
I AM SANDRA BILO .THE ONLY SON OF LATE MR AND
MRS. JOSEPH.K. BILO..
I GOT YOUR CONTACT FROM www.meetup.com
PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT BE EMBARASED,I AM SEEKING
YOUR ATTENTION TO HELP ME TRANSFER THE SUM OF (TEN MILLION
AMERICAN DOLLAR
IN YOUR ACCOUNT.PLEASE IT IS MORE THAN URGENT,
MOREOVER, DEAR, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 15% OF THE TOTAL SUM
AS COMPENSATION FOR YOUR EFFORT/INPUT AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL
TRANSFER OF THIS FUND INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT OVERSEAS.
THANKS, SANDRA BILO (sandra_bilo88@yahoo.fr )

NOTE:PLEASE KINDLY REPLY ME WITH THIS MY DIRECT EMAIL
sandra_bilo88@yahoo.fr

-----------------------------------------------------------------

dear sandra,
you say you are a boy but you have a girls name. it must have been very hard
growing up with everyone teasing you. do you think that your parents realy
wanted a daughter, and thats why they called you sandra?
its funny you know, ive gotten quite a few emails asking me for my account
number to hide their millions in. its always american dollars too. where do
you people get your money from? especially american money. you all have so
many millions of US dollars, and you're al looking for help to get rid of
it. surely you could all put your money together, buy a plane and fly your
millions out.
i dont know, just thinking out loud i suppose.
anyway sandy, may i call you sandy? sandy, let me know when you get out of
the country. for some reason your email didnt tell me that your family had
been killed by militants and are being harrassed by snipers and the like,
but im sure thats happening, so good luck with that. i hope all your dreams
come true

love from me

promises of presents

by the end of october i should be able to show you a picture of me looking like a librarian. yep. i am now a librarian at noarlunga library. i start on either the 25th of october or the 1st of november. ohh, 1st of november, new series of queer as folk. btw, while im thinking of tv shows, sean, ive missed the entire 2nd series of 6 feet under and so far all of the third.

back to my news

i am a librarian. it is literally a dream come true. apart from being on young talent time or being an olympic gymnast, librarian was the first proffession i aspired too. i imagined that sitting in a library all day would be the most wonderful thing ever. all those books, all that paper, geeky boys and girls who read....mmmmm, bliss.

i'll be working 25 hours a week, including one or two saturdays a month. yay. im a librarian.

last night we had a catch up rehearsal for cuckoos nest. on saturday at the matinee performance, theo is playing macmurphy. and since allen announced over the headset that i was excited about kissing theo, everyone knows im excited about kissing theo.
he's sweet, i cant help it. adam said that i should think about theo when im performing with him, so im amore touchy feely with him. poor baby :) actually, im playing theo's girlfriend today in a film that a few of us are making. you can read more about it here

i should go get my self hippied up. remember, friday nights performance is cheaper, with all tickets $12. if they kick up a stink at the box office, just say that you heard about it on SAFM, that works.

here, read the press release:

A mental institution of misfits, a nurse who thinks she’s got everything under control and a convicted gambling rebel who wants to change the system!

This psychological drama based on the novel by Ken Kesey and written for stage by Dale Wasserman is a classic story and in 1975 the film starring Jack Nicholson won multi Academy Awards.

Adam Morgan is Randle Patrick McMurphy, the convicted “gambling fool” who is institutionalised. Adam is currently filming the feature film Pobby and Dingan with Vince Colosimo and Jacqueline McKenzie. He is the voice behind numerous television commercials - Mitsubishi, Sip & Save and Keno – and appears in the feature films Australian Rules, Black & White, One Night the Moon, In a Savage Land and has several guest appearances in McLeods Daughters.

Multi award winning actor and director Harry Dewar portrays the well educated and effete President of the Patients Council Dale Harding.

Psychology student Jarrod Chave, plays stuttering thirty year old suicidal virgin Billy Bibbit.

Peter Dewar is the tall strong native American Indian, Chief Bromden who feigns muteness and deafness to protect himself from pain.

Dael McCarthy portrays the strict and authoritative Nurse Ratched who demands respect and obedience from her patients and staff.

Winner of the 2002 Hills Drama Festival best male actor award, Paul Kaesler together with budding young actor Nathan Lambert play Aides Warren and Williams.

Don Davies portrays the bomb making Mr Scanlon, George Garcia Jnr plays the hullucinating Italian Martini and Brian Oates is the translucent Charles Cheswick III.

Helen Matthews plays Ruckly, a chronic patient who once undertook a failed lobotomy. Barry Becker is the licquor drinking and drug smoking, night duty Aide Turkle and a chronic patient, Colonel. Theo Badics is also a chronic patient as well as head technician for electric shock treatment.

Carly Whittaker is the refreshingly delightful and playful Candy Starr and Kylie Toogood plays her friend Sandy.

Well known Adelaide actor Don Hutton portrays the harrassed resident phsychiatrist Dr Spivey and Jillian Wheatland is the vapid young catholic Nurse Flinn.
The extraordinary John Wilson is composing and will conduct original music to compliment the production, while Alie Beck has created a visually exciting set design.

Opus Artistic Director Leeza Peters says, “It is a fascinating journey into the lives of people who are outcasts of society and who continue to struggle with their individuality and personal identity.”

“This is an amazing story that can be viewed on so many levels. There is an underlaying struggle of seclusion, intimidation and dehumanisation.”

Audiences will be stimulated by an incredible performance by a talented cast and tantalised with multimedia images and poignant music.

*Special
Discounted
Performance*
Only $12
Friday
15th October at 8pm
Noarlunga College Theatre
Ramsay Place,
Noarlunga Centre
20 metres east of the Colonades Tavern

October 2004
Sat 16th 2 pm Matinee
& 8pm Evening Finale
@$16 adults
& $12 concession
Phone Victoria:8207 3977



and i WILL see you there

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Very High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Psychotic horrors



ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST: Opus Performing Arts Community

Noarlunga College Theatre, Adjacent to Colonnades Shopping

Centre, Noarlunga Centre

To October 16


"YOU don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps!"

Take one softly spoken, power crazed, psychotic nurse and a pair of moronic, sadistic aides and let them lord it over a bag of assorted nuts and everything works out just fine.

That is, until they let the aggressively male, exuberant (but relatively sane) R.P. McMurphy, into the mad house, then all hell breaks loose.

Adam Morgan's masterful portrayal of the larger than life McMurphy anchors a mostly excellent cast as they breathe life into Ken Kesey's story of tragedy, joy and hope.

Harry Dewar is quietly powerful as the mild mannered Dale Harding and Jarrod Chave is outstanding as the stuttering Billy Bibbit, McMurphy's ultimate Judas.

Dael McCarthy's deadly still portrayal of Nurse Ratched is more suited to film than theatre but she still manages to convey the sinister nature of her character.

She just needs to step it up a notch for a live audience.

Paul Kaesler is more noticeably nasty as Aide Warren with Nathan Lambert working well as his accomplice.

Peter Dewar tackles the difficult role of Chief Bromden. He has the necessary stature and sensitivity but needs to cut loose in the final stages.

This predominantly sad story of the fate of the true individual in a corrupt society is peppered with some very funny moments and great messages of hope.

Director Leeza Peters has produced a nicely balanced entertainment.

The set design by Alie Beck is interesting, lighting is good and there is atmospheric use of video and live music.

The atmospheric elements could be extended as they tend to switch on and off a little abruptly.

More could be done with scene changes to enhance (rather than break) the mood and there are some slow spots that could be cut to tighten things up and create more tension.

But overall, this is a very good production of a classic play.



SUE OLDKNOW



? Review published in the Southern Times Messenger, 13-10-04, p. 37.

you dont love me, waaaaaaaaaa!

so who out there was part of the mammoth amount of people who have come to see cuckoos nest? come on! own up! thats right. none of you. how do i know this? because so far over all three performances, a total of less than 100 people have shown up. we should get around 80 each night. do you know how many turned up on saturday night?

25

COME ON!

we've put in a lot of hard work, we're all pretty damn sexy, and despite the small audiences they've been clapping and laughing and even shedding a few tears. its a good performance. show your appreciation for the arts. show your commitment to local talent. spend a sunny day down at the southern beaches, grab some yummy tea at port noarlunga or on beach road, then head on down to noarlunga theatre and show your support.

opus performing arts community inc
presents

one flew over the cuckoos nest

Noarlunga college theatre
ramsay place, noarlunga centre
(go to colonnades, find the pub, you'll see the theatre)

friday 15th 8pm
sat 16th 2pm & 8pm

tickets $16 adults & $12 concession, bookings 8207 3977

stick around afterwards and you can come to the pub with us


please?

eep

tonight is opening night for cuckoos nest. had you asked me tuesday night how i thought we would go i probably would have burst into tears. but last nights rehearsal went quite well. the party scene, despite feeling extremely awkward on stage, apparently came off beautifully. we actually looked like we were drunk at a party. also there were tales of goosebumps over the 'billy is having a nervous breakdown' scene, and i was told my face looked beautiful during that.

so what are you all still sitting around for, ya peckerheads*! get out there and grab yourself a ticket!

* you know that i wouldnt really call you peckerheads. its a line from the play. not the 'grab yourself a ticket' part, that part i added in myself. so yeah. weather has cooled down a bit, huh? oh, im still in the asterisk part. i'll go now

glaaaaaanceeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

step up boys

im finding it increasingly difficult to be heterosexual, even bi. and you, the australian public have just made it harder.
i was asked the other night if i thought maybe i was just an all out lesbian, no bis about it. i thought a little before i answered. right now there are three people who are stopping me from just liking girls. well, three guys to be exact. one is my all out favourite guy crush detective goran. that guy can investigate me anytime, rrrriowl!
i know there are a few out there who dont agree with me, but he pushes my buttons, rings my bell and spins my wheels, so he's good for me. when did i turn into some machine on wheels with buttons and bells?
secondly theres theo from opus. now, yes, he is a sexy boy. but my crush on him is more along the lines of 'this guy is impossibly cute and nice and sweet, i wanna be his friend! and he thinks im pretty, ooooh'
the third and final boy who is keeping me bi is daniel from australian idol. let me show you this lovely boy, if you havent already had the pleasure of gazing on his greatness



what a lovely boy. and you. YOU the australian public, voted him off the show when there is a perfectly scary looking boy to vote off first




and you've broken up a beautiful couple



and you're preventing me from seeing a sexy boy every week and dreaming lusty things about him. to further make this point, i dreamt chanel and i were cuddling quite close and we were enjoying ourselves immensely. while i am not in anyway complaining about this dream, i wonder if it is a sign of things to come? as the spunky boys slowly drift out of my life, what is going to keep me wanting cock?

i know mum, fisk it with snicky tape

ri-riow

i have submitted 3 photos to this years boobie-thon. i wont tell you which ones are mine, see if you can guess. i dont think they're on there yet tho, will let you know



p.s. the title of this post if pronouced like a wolf whistle :P

yesterday i lay in bed with a pen and a pad full of paper and wrote 5 pages without stopping.
what ive written so far is here if you'd like to read it