Wednesday, November 27, 2002

while i was driving to my mikado audition, i saw a pigeon sitting in the middle of the turning lane. i've seen pigeons sitting around before. they usually do it when they're about to die. a lot of them decide to do it on my driveway or on the footpath in front of my house. anyway. there was this pigeon, and i thought to myself that if i was a pigeon who was dying, id rather die in peace, laying on the footpath than sit in the middle of the road thinking, im dying, but i could be hit by a car any second and i dont know which is gonna happen first. i didnt stop. and i thought about it the whole way to the audition that i should have gone back and moved the bird.
then yesterday xander called me out the back because daisy was doing something. i looked out the window and there's daisy picking up this baby bird, gently, and dropping it again. so i went outside, picked up the bird, checked if anything was broken and took it inside. it was then that i notoced the toy hammer in xanders hands.
did you hit the bird?
did you?
i just looked at its legs
i hled it for a little while, and i talked to matt about it and he reckoned the best place for it would be back in its nest. i was worried about that, handled by people too much it would be discarded thing, but matt said that that was just an old wives tale, so i put it back. when i lifted it into its nest its head fell forward all droopy. i knew it wouldnt make it but i told xander it would be ok.
when matt came home, he told xander to be the bird, and that he would be xander, so we could see what happened. so xander laid on the ground on his back with his legs curled up on his tummy and matt held his hand up like he was holding something.
what have i got in my hand?
a hammer :)!
and what do i have to do with it?
bang it!
just one time?
three times, bang bang bang!!!
xander, did you bang the bird with the hammer?
i had to, cos daisy was eating him, so i had to bang him with the hammer.

that bird had no chance

i thought that finding the bird was like, a sign or something. like, if i saved this one then it was ok that i left the pigeon on the road. maybe im just thinking too much because im inwardly nervous about tonight. the only thing i can feel my nervousness about is wether or not my car will make it home without stalling again. i dont want to be stuck out there in the dark.
i have to leave in about 4 hours. i just finished watching a midsummer nights dream on video, the one with kevin kline and calista flockhart. poor helena, all she ever does is cry. but at least she's happy in the ending, even if demitrius does only love her because puck put a spell on him

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