insanity insmamity
well, thats what id like to say anyway. i drove off today without shutting eli's door. i spent all our money on myself and now i have to borrow money off of brett to pay for matts rego. and as soon as i bought the stuff i felt bad. more bad than i usually feel. i spoke to karlie and was nice. the boys fell out of a trolley today and i almost didnt react. i rang deidre. she was in a meeting. she'll ring me back. i've been waiting for her to call me for two months. i'm not getting my hopes up. i drove past daniels last night. i didnt stop. but just doing it is wrong and it fucked with my mind all of last night. so much so that i couldnt sleep and when i did i had freaky dreams that were more freaky than normal, i cant even begin to explain them. i've been worried about going to the whitlams this friday night because of the trouble it kinda caused last time. i got upset earlier because my toast burned. then i ate it anyway, even though it was gross cos i felt bad about wasting, and cos id spent money earlier