things...i dont know...they're just never meant to be easy. and as hard as i try to stay out of things that really have nothing to do with me, i'm drawn in and there's no telling what can happen now. i've been pretty happy lately. not with all parts of my life, but with a lot of things, ive been handling it well, getting on with things, trying not to let things bother me.
im doing my play, something ive been wanting to get back into for years, and im doing pretty damn well. i was chosen to go on tv to publicise it, that must show that im at least ok at what i do. and i'm happy that i've finally gotten back in contact with cam. it's been something that's been swimming around in my head for years now, and at last i feel like there's some sort of...finality? no, just...im just happy that he's back around me again. im selling avon. it may not be the best job, and i may not do great at it, and i may not make a lot of money, but im trying, and then people come along and accuse me of doing nothing. on top of that, i look after my kids. i look after 2 very boisterous, very loud, very noisy, very demanding boys, and i do that while having post natal depression, and i do a bloody good job.
i know this makes no sense, its 10:30 am and i've already been up for 4 and a half hours....im tired and im hot and im thirsty and ive really had enough of today already

feh