i used to think that the first time i realised i was attracted to girls was when i couldnt stop thinking about drew barrymore. i think it started with boys on the side. when i saw that i thought she was the most beautiful thing id ever seen. i think my friends just thought i wanted my hair like hers, but it was more than that.
i remembered recently that drew wasnt my first love at all. when i was in year 10, 14 years old, i was in the rock and roll eisteddfod, and there was a girl who had dark hair, dark eyes, and was kinda mysterious looking. i sat with her one day when we were waiting to be picked up after rehearsal. she was 2 or more years ahead of me, and i was just drawn to her. i thought there was something about her, something that i needed to be close to. i dont think that i came so far as to image sexy things about her. i hadnt even had a boyfriend at that stage. but i did want to be near her.
i wish i could remember her name