Saturday, May 07, 2005

back to the future

my kids love the smurfs. i borrowed a dvd from work the other day and eli is watching it now. i just sat back and listened for a little while andi got hit with a memory.

the smurfs were on in the morning before school. probably about 8 o'clock, is my guess. i never got up early and we had to leave at 8:30 so this time makes the most sense.

remember this part?

Well, the forest is still there. And if you listen, you may hear Gargamel's rage. But if you were good, you may just catch a glimpse of the Smurfs

i specifically remember, being old enough to know, mind you, that the smurfs were just cartoon characters and not actually real, i remember thinking that if i found that forest i wouldnt catch a glimpse of the smurfs because i wasnt good enough.


now, you've all had time to feel sorry for me, i'll put up these lyrics from tripod and you can have a little chuckle

The Ballad of Floor Buffer Smurf

Gatesy: Hello! So you've had an hour... you've had an hour drinking, starting fights. But we were told - Catholic priests, prostitutes, smurfs, a gay housemate with the same name, floor buffer, and a bit of Shaggy somewhere in there, and it's kind of in a Pogue style - you're familiar with the Pogue's body of work?
Yon: So what we've written is, basically, a love story that takes place in Smurfland.
Scod: Yeah, baby! Let's do it!
Gatesy: Thanks for sticking around for an hour, guys.

Tripod: It's a happy old life, being a Smurf,
We don't have a worry or care on the Earth.
We love all the sights and the sounds and the smells,
Except for that dirty old Gargamel.

Gatesy: Now the only inbalance I see in Smurf-Land,
Is there's only one female from west to the east.
Gatesy: - Lady Smurf.
Gatesy: Everyone's had her, except Papa Smurf,
Tripod: 'Cause he's training to be a Catholic Priest.

But Lady Smurf has decided to charge.
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy fuckin', there's no time for me.

Scod: Now I buff the floors of Smurf-Land, you see,
And they never made a figurine out of me.
I'm just Floor Buffer Smurf, I'm no-one in her eyes,
So she's been hanging out with the...
Tripod: ... popular guys.

Gatesy: And there's so many smurfs that they sell at BP,
She loves all the others, so why not me?
There's King Smurf and Skate Smurf and Massive Cock Smurf.
Gatesy: But strangely they never made a figure out of that one but I can understand why she would hang out with him...
Scod: Yeah...

Tripod: But Lady Smurf has decided to charge.
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy smurfin', there's no time for me.

Gatesy: 'Scuse me, how much for a smurf job?
Scod: (High-pitched) That'll be eight smurfs. Do you want me to smurf you, while I smurf you?
Gatesy: Actually, no, I just want you to smurf me off.

Scod: Well, my name finally made it to the top of her list,
But I was out buffin' some floors that day.
My house-mate's name matched with the one in her book,
So she went to smurf him...
Tripod: ... but he was gay!

Scod: Shaggy!
Gatesy: Shaggy!

Yon: (Shaggy) But Lady Smurf has decided to charge,
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy shaggin'...
Gatesy and Scod: ... there's no time for me!

Yon: (Shaggy) Woh, woh, woh...

Gatesy: Goodnight! Thanks so much!
Scod: Thank you!

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