Friday, October 18, 2002

Correspondance With Frosted Flakes

Mr. Zaruba,

Here at Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, we appreciate the time you've taken to write our public relations depertment. Interest in our company and our products is always appreciated. You inquiry was entertaining and included are answers to your questions.

Tony the Tiger is a cartoon character and we haven't delved very deep into his character. So it is undetermined whether or not Tony the Tiger has been neutered.

As for your inquiry into "who would win in a fight between Tony the Tiger and Dig 'Em the Honey Smack frog", we unfortunately cannot determine who would the the victor. However, in real life, a tiger would eat the frog.

Tony the Tiger is not "booted out of his melon on double-rich black tar heroin."

We have no plans now to have Tony the Tiger contract Mad Cow disease, attack a child in an insane, hallucinagenic rage and rape an unopened box of Honey Combs.

Again, we thank you for your inquiry.

Harold Mitchelscott,
PR Agent/Kelloggs Cereal
12:52 AM

he he he he

what green tastes like

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