i walked outside and the sun was warm, the breeze cool. the man across the road walked out at the same time as me. what does that mean? does it mean anything? maybe i'll just ignore him. i wont look at him. i dont look at him and he goes away. i cant see him anymore.
as i reach the end of the street there is a man pushing a stroller across the other side of the road. he is talking. i cant understand him. i dont look at him. if i dont look at him he wont see me. i turn and walk past the gym. i practice in my head over and over. a pastie with sauce please a pastie with sauce please a pastie with sauce please. i contemplate just going to the servo. no. i can do this. there are cars everywhere. they're looking at me, right? dont look at them. dont meet their glances.
the horizon catches my eye and for a moment i forget everything and sink into the colours. the sky, the clouds, the sea. the colours so vivid they're almost unreal. and then im at the shops.
a pastie with sauce please
and im gone. the breeze is blowing my hair off of my face as i walk back up the road. the sun is warm and the breeze is comforting. i decide at the last minute to go to the servo and buy bread. i practice 'i already bought these at the deli' and i only need to practice once.
i turn onto my street and i am alone. there are no voices and no cars. and i am home