no!

they're reading old pig on play school today :(

at least noni isnt reading, then there would be a guarantee of tears

review - part one

track #1 opening: the muppet show theme. suddenly i'm 7 years old. i'm sitting cross legged on my nanna's loungeroom floor and i'm eating only the pink and white from the neopolitan icecream, covered in milo. the muppets have started and im bobbing my head to the music as i eat

track #2 bevis' life motto : dumb things - paul kelly. i fucking love this song. i fucking love paul kelly. so far, fucking excellent cd and i'm only 2 songs in!

track #3 BTTF: back to the future theme. i love this movie. i love this movie. can i say it again? i love this movie. i want to learn to dance how they do at the under the sea ball

track #4 mahna: mahna mahna do doo dododo
i dont think i need to say anymore. except that miss piggy is scary 'kermit...make time

track #5 ode to all us bloggers: we got us - the muppets Why sing a melody as a soliloquy When its more fun to be Harmonizing? *nods and smiles* i love this movie

track #6 take a stand: i am what i am who is this sung by? it sounds like its from a musical? i should get more musicals on cd. yes i should

track #7 wifey: she's so fine - john farnham apart from the fact that its john farnham, its a great song. i was actually singing beatles songs with xans the other day. he sang me golden slumbers before he went to bed. could my son be any cooler? no, i dont think so

track #8 philosophy 101: rainbow connection - kermit aaaaw....i used to have this on record and i have no idea where it got to. im so glas i have it on cd now. 'somebody thought of it, and someone believed it, look what its done so far'

track #9 katrina: walking on sunshine - katrina and the waves heehee, ok, so this probably isnt the memory this song *should* be bringing back, but it makes me think of young talent time. rad. i love it

track #10 bevis' best stage role: mister cellophane - chicago the musical rad.
rad

track #11 hey, a movie! starring everybody, and me! i already yayed about this song, but i can happily yay again. yay! 'its ok, i landed on my head' 'gee, i wish i were you guys seeing this for the first time'

track #12 quincy: feeling pretty funky

track #13 life: movin right along - the muppets i had this on record too! yaaay!

i walked outside and the sun was warm, the breeze cool. the man across the road walked out at the same time as me. what does that mean? does it mean anything? maybe i'll just ignore him. i wont look at him. i dont look at him and he goes away. i cant see him anymore.
as i reach the end of the street there is a man pushing a stroller across the other side of the road. he is talking. i cant understand him. i dont look at him. if i dont look at him he wont see me. i turn and walk past the gym. i practice in my head over and over. a pastie with sauce please a pastie with sauce please a pastie with sauce please. i contemplate just going to the servo. no. i can do this. there are cars everywhere. they're looking at me, right? dont look at them. dont meet their glances.
the horizon catches my eye and for a moment i forget everything and sink into the colours. the sky, the clouds, the sea. the colours so vivid they're almost unreal. and then im at the shops.
a pastie with sauce please
and im gone. the breeze is blowing my hair off of my face as i walk back up the road. the sun is warm and the breeze is comforting. i decide at the last minute to go to the servo and buy bread. i practice 'i already bought these at the deli' and i only need to practice once.
i turn onto my street and i am alone. there are no voices and no cars. and i am home

the mariners revenge

over the last few weeks of school, x's class have been bringing in various things for show and tell. there was a favourite toy, something you got while on holiday, a photograph, that sort of thing.
so far x has forgotten about all of these until the last minute and then not been able to find anything he wanted to take

until this week

this week is the one he's been waiting for all along

this week is 'your favourite cd'

no, gentle readers, please sit back and read the lyrics to the song x will be playing his classmates. from the decemberists album, picaresque, i give you

the mariners revenge song

We are two mariners
Our ships' sole survivors
In this belly of a whale

Its ribs are ceiling beams
Its guts are carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill

You may not remember me
I was a child of three
And you, a lad of eighteen

But I remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories interweave

At the time you were
A rake and a roustabout
Spending all your money
On the whores and hounds
Oh Ohhhhh

You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet

And so she took you in
Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease

As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother
A poor consumptive wretch
Oh Ohhhhh

And then you disappeared
Your gambling arrears
The only thing you left behind

And then the magistrate
Reclaimed our small estate
And my poor mother lost her mind

Then one day, in spring
My dear sweet mother died
But before she did
I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
*sigh*"

It took me fifteen years
To swallow all my tears
Among the urchins in the street

Until a priory
Took pity and hired me
To keep their vestry nice and neat

But never once in the employ
Of these holy men
Did I ever, once, turn my mind
From the thought of revenge
Oh Ohhhhh

One night I overheard
The prior exchanging words
With a penitent whaler from the sea

The captain of his ship
Who matched you toe to tip
Was known for a wanton cruelty

The following day
I shipped to sea
With a privateer

And in the whistle
Of the wind
I could almost hear...
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

"There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"

[haunting, sailor-esque musical interlude lead by mandolin, accordion and tuba]

And then that fateful night
We had you in our sight
After twenty months at sea

Your starboard flank abeam
I was getting my muskets clean
When came this rumbling from beneath

The ocean shook
The sky went black
And the captain quailed

And before us grew
The angry jaws
Of a giant whale

[instrumental noise]
oh ohhhhhhhhhh
[screaming]
ohhhhh
[screaming]

Don't know how I survived
The crew all was chewed alive
I must have slipped between his teeth

But, oh! What providence!
What divine intelligence!
That you should survive
As well as me

It gives my heart
Great joy
To see your eyes fill with fear

So lean in close
And I will whisper
The last words you'll hear
Ohh Ohhhhh

1/3

well, i'm a third of the way through my 3 week busy time. this week i managed to squeeze in a qaf night, some storytime training, a doctors appointment, babysitting, 3 days of work, looking after a sick person, a day in the botanical gardens, a visit with my mum, a gig, participating in an almost break up, and cleaning half my house and watching HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

week two will start with a qaf night/going away for vicki, a tupperware party (?!), police and dpp meetings, seeing HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, reviewing bevis' cd, cleaning the rest of my house, visiting new babies and school and kindy bizzo plus anything else that happens to pop up in the course of the week.
i know there will be a lot of going over of things, and a lot of psyching myself up for the following week, but right now im feeling pretty good about it all. perhaps not 100% positive, but at least more positive than i have been lately.

just an insect, remember?

i'm going to be stupidly insanely busy over the next few weeks, so instead of a proper post, you get a linky post full of things i've seen recently and even not so recently that have made me laugh or smile or whatever.

here they are

without further achoo*

~ i want this baby to play with my kids
~ i am currently listening to a cd made by this lovely man. i will be reviewing soon. so far, all smiles
~ current post by above lovely man, i actually laughed like i commented
~ i want to be friends with ms fits. i cant help myself. i want to be part of the cool gang. i cant believe amanda vanstone said this. actually, yes i can
~ ha! i just went to the music sa site to find info on the gig i was going to tell you all about and look who is the featured band. be there!
~ i get to pash ben! theres no link for that...hang on, yes there is...oh, no there isnt....but ben!!!!
~ i bought a typewriter last week for $5. im hoping it will be the star of the show
~ in a fit of sookiness i spent $100 on t shirts from here. you can guess which ones i got, and i'll post pics when they get here. merry christmas me! (also, merry christmas other people these shirts are for too)
~ 12 months of chuckles. this rules
~ starring everybody, and me! heehee, cd review soon

* achoo, aaahahahahahahaaaa, im so funny

you + me

you shouldnt assume

it just makes you a cunt

trust

deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to cllimb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch. or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter

lemony snicket - the penultimate peril

work vs school

are you aware that your library subscribes to databases from all over australia, and around the world? ask us to show you how to access this new world of information!

actually dont, because we havent finished our homework yet. we've been given a workbook which we are to go through and answer using the databases.

the first question

who is robert zimmerman better known as? print a picture of this person

i immediatley go to write down 'bob dylan' but then think, no, i should do this properly. so i log on. (new window opens)what? oh, i need a library card number. k (new window opens)...and...what? oh, click here? k...(new window opens)....click here? ok....(new window opens)library card number again? i just put it in..stupid computer...(new window opens)...click where? (new window opens) this is fucked

my answer:

i tried to use the databases but they were very user UNfriendly so i typed 'robert zimmerman' into google and it came up with 'bob dylan'. then i did a google image search and printed him out

i hope i pass

hungry

smiling and shaking my head

man...i really wish i could share these blocked comments with you all...if only i didnt delete them, silly me. they're so full of insightful glimpses into my life and other peoples lives that i am so sure you all need to read about, but unfortunately, i just cant do it anymore. apparently, according to the people i've spoken to, im not allowed to insight the comments. i just have to keep them all filed away and pass them on, which is what im doing.

so, to "all" of you who are commenting....and commenting...and commenting, dont despair. i do read your comments. then i copy them and send them away, and then i delete them. and i do feel all warm and fuzzy inside that you keep coming back...and coming back...and coming back. i must be such a huge part of your life

its 2am and im still awake and my eyes burn from crying

depression is fun!

dear enetation,
i'm just writing to you to let you know how much i appreciate your services.
i particularly enjoy your 'block' feature, which enables me to block peoples IP addresses so their comments arent seen unless i sign in.
and funnily enough, im only signing in occasionally and, gee, you know, it makes me laugh how many people have the same ip address, and how they keep trying to comment, even though it isnt chowing up. and how they'll comment the smae thing, but different names, and then get pissy and comment on my tagboard, and i can just delete it.
its so much fun, and its so satisfying.

so thankyou for your commenting system. it has made me smile quite a bit lately. very entertaining

love carly

i think lee might win australian idol

open

"i think it's a reason i should love you"
"what is?"
"the fact that you're trying hard to be honest and good, and you're doing it"
.....
"do you love me?"
"yes, i do"

tag! you are the one


surly gregory tagged me, so here are 20 things you may or may not know about me.

pleasant reading

1. when i was younger i was obsessed with young talent time. i'd video episodes and replay them in the loungeroom where we had one wall entirely covered with mirror tiles (yeah! 80's decor!), and copy all the moves. i would also make my brother and the kids over the fence learn the dances as well. when i thought we were good enough, i rang a hospital...i cant remember now whether it was ashford or flinders...and told them that i was part of a dance group that would like to come and perform for sick kids. they sent me out a letter to confirm us coming in. i never wrote back

2. most photos of me which are taken outside, will result in my having one eye scrunched closed because of the sun being too bright. someone told me the reason i could see perfectly well with one eye closed in the sun was because by closing one eye, i had limited the sunlight going into my eyes my 50%. i still dont know if i believe that.

3. more often than not i feel as though my life should be a movie. a very boring movie, yeah, but there's always some sort of voiceover in my head that just seems too scripted to be anything else. when my "mentalness" was at its "craziest" i was pretty much convinced i was being interviewed by today tonight at most times of the day, and that they were terribly interested in me hanging out the washing and so forth

4. my dad doesnt drink beer. im still not sure of the reason, but when i was little i thought it was because he would turn into a werewolf if he did. i would have a recurring dream that mum, brett and i would be sitting at the traffic lights on wheatsheaf road, facing flaxmill road, and my dad would be at the lights on south road heading towards the city. its night time and he has the interior light on in his car. he's had beer. he's a wolf. and im so scared he will turn and see us. i wake up before the lights change.

5. i steal. all the time. mostly small things i dont need. i've done it ever since i can remember. i remember walking into the deli when i was younger, looking the shopkeeper in the eye, dipping my hand into what, in my memories, seems to be the biggest bucket of small chocolate easter eggs in the entire universe, taking a handful and walking out. i never got in trouble for it and he would even let us choose a packet of hubba bubba on halloween.

6. it makes me sad that i will never be able to send the kids up the shop with $2 to buy a loaf of bread and a litre of milk and say 'keep the change'. i cant do this for a couple of reasons. one, because there is no way thing will ever be that cheap again, and 2, because the world is such a shitty place now that you cant even trust that your kids will be safe playing in the front yard.

7. at the first house i lived in, we had a mandarin tree out the back. the fuit that it grew wasnt very nice, but it would do if you couldnt be bothered walking inside for food. one day i got the bright idea to sell these amazing mandarins. i got an empty icecream container, wrote 'coorara primary school' on the front in crayon, and filled it with tiny mandarins.
i think i sold a few, but then i made my mistake. i knocked on the door of a house nearby, and two little twin boys answered the door.

shit

it wasnt the fact that these kids were only 6 and had they already had the school wary of them, it just happened to be that the boys mum was the deputy principal of my school. she took my mandarins, and my earnings and told me she would donate my takings to the school for me. all up, about 70 cents

8. i am addictive. not me, as in, my actual self, i mean, i get addicted to things very easily. for this reason im really scared of taking any drugs again, or drinking much alcohol.
here is a list of things i've been addicted to so far.

green grapes
green and orange iceblocks
watermelon
tomato and onion tuna
fairy bread
mint chocolate areo bars
feel good iced coffee
fruit and spice muffins

9. i love to give and recieve mixed tapes/cds. it takes a lot of thought to make a good compilation. the songs, the order, the meaning behind everything. is it just a group of songs to introduce them to a genre of music? is there a special meaning behind each song that you're trying to convey? or is there a meaning behind the whole cd?

10. high fidelity is one of my all time top 5 favourite movies. probably has a lot to do with number 9 up there. right at this moment as im typing, with the words coming out quick, no stopping to really really think about it, my top 5 favourite movies are amelie, high fidelity, the breakfast club, charlie and the chocolate factory and to kill a mocking bird.

11.i have never, to my knowledge, broken a bone. i think i may have broken my litle toe once. i remember walking around a corner and catching it on the doorway. it really really really...i dont think i can write enough really's....hurt and its a bit of a funny shape now, compared to my other toes. i think the reason ive not broken anything is because i drink so much milk. i cant put it down to being amazingly coordinated or graceful since i am neither of these. i was once told i had my own awkward grace.

12. after young talent time was taken off air, i still held my dream of being part of a singing and dancing tv show. after school everyday i would take my stereo outside, plug it into the laundry, press play on my tape and something like summer 87 would start. this tape had such gems as a mater of trust, by billy joel, missionary man by the eurythmics, true colours by cyndii lauper and dancing on the ceiling by lionel ritchie (any of these songs could very easily have been on my choose 1985 tape, both were played...and played...and played). i would burst out of the laundry and do my dance to the song, performing to my imaginary audience. it was great.

13. its very likely i will be going to france next year

this scares me immensly

14. i've done a wee under the sydney harbour bridge. a couple of years ago, personwhosnameimustnevermention and i went to sydney to see the star wars exhibition.

heres a photo of me playing beatie bow around the backstreets of the rocks, where it was filmed.



we'd been walking around all day with our entire luggage and i was very tired. we'd sat down under the bridge and i realised i needed to wee. i looked around. surrounding me were little hills and lots of stairs. no toilets in close proximity. my back, neck and shoulders were aching. there was no one around. i sat on a low wall, slipped my knickers off, wriggled my bum to the edge of the ledge and wee'd.

much better

15. i wear sunglasses quite a lot. its very handy for me to wear sunglasses as i quite often will stare at people and frown with...i dont know...disbelief. the problem is that i also quite often forget, and will do this without sunglasses

16. i own more pyjamas and skirts than anything else and i cant help buying more

17.lets get international and a lil bit naughty... i have had "romantic feelings/interludes" with boys from australia, england, norway, france, america and denmark

18. i once stole a kitten. it died. i feel very very bad about this

19. dan just got voted out of australian idol by 27 votes??? what the fuck?? ok, this isnt exactly about me, but even people who cant stand the show must see the injustice of the only person on there who can actually sing and play an instrument, being voted off. this just reitterates my belief that people are stupid and ignorant. at least he wont have to record some crap album now. you know what this is like? its like novelty songs winning the hottest 100.
to make this about me...i watch these shows, dont vote, and then get pissy when the person i wanted to win, doesnt....ie i am lazy

20. my favourite things are my babies, sleeping, reading, cups of tea with milk and hunny

yay! it only took me 3 days, but i've done it. and i tag..............andy, ross and...well, it was going to be sherriff matty but it seems he's on hiatus, so its gonna have to be, ooh, marla

one more thing

i think dangermouse was at colonnades today, sitting outside wendys

you're it!

so the sexy surlyboy tagged me, and i'll be completing my list soon. i just got back from fish and chips and cricket on the beach with the boys, was really nice.
felt like real summer today, the kind that i like. apparently it'll be raining for the next couple of days and then sunny again.

tom keeps asking where this 'stupidly hot summer' he keeps hearing about, is. well, isnt he going to be pissed off when it gets here. it was 35 today and that was way hot enough for me. i told him to wait until next weekend. it should rain the morning of the christmas pageant, and then not rain again until about april.

i ate twisties today, with the complete knowledge i would have a headache afterwards

i have a headache

bedtime for me, i'll post my 20 things soon

realisations

*my bike has still not been returned
*nor has it turned up at a cash converters
*im really glad im not left handed cos my left wrist is really sore from work today
*changing names doesnt automatically change your ip address
*the biggest worry in e's life at the moment, called out in the middle of a dream the other night 'x! let me play with it!'
*court is a month away

funny

so, i called the police about my bike and i happened to mention the crappy week i'd been having. like how my brake fluid kept leaking, among other things. for some reason they found this interesting and asked if anything else had happened recently. actually, yeah, someone keeps pulling my lights out of the ground out the front, and there's a new scratch on my car.

they asked me if i could think of anyone who could want to cause me harm in anyway.

was there anything else going on that they should know about?

was there anything strange happening lately?

anything out of the ordinary...perhaps i hadnt thought so at the time, but thinking back...?

and i thought....you know, i really had to think....

i mean, they'd need some proof that anything was happening to me, but, where would i get proof that people were acting in any way untoward against me? i mean, would anyone just leave that sort of thing laying around for anyone to see?

i told them i'd get back to them if i could think of anything

public announcement

whoever stole my bike from the adelaide train station last night or early this morning, can you please put it back?
no doubt by now you will have realised its a girly gike with back pedal brakes and one of the gears doesnt work, so i'm sure its not actually what you were expecting when you saw it.
i'd really appreciate it if you just put it back where it was.

thanks

an apology



translated

dear mrs k's children,
i accidentallly broke your toy horse. i'm sorry
i'll wait a week until i am at dad's house then I will tell him to please glue it together

from x

i read on the adelaide index that sparrow had written about school photos.
x had his school photos on monday. he said they went well. he got to stand up the back because he is nice and tall, and he said he smiled nice for his solo photo and his class photo.
then came the whole school photo
how did that go?
'i stuck my tongue out and no one even saw me do it!'

by all means

i've been writing on his blog since 2002 and ive never deleted any comments. the comment button is there for you all to leave your opinions. most of you do, and most are well recieved by everyone. some people have differing opinions and that is fine too. i usually write back to these people, to try and suss out the actual reasons for the differences and sometimes this leads to interesting discussions. other times it just leads to people dodging questions and putting words into my mouth.

and so, ive decided that i'll be deleting the last lot of comments on my latest entries.

wendy, if you would like to continue our discussion, my email address is readily available on my blog. i'll be happy to keep talking abou this issue, which was a few lines in a whole entry, but only if you answer all the questions i ask, just like i answer yours.

i'll look forward to hearing from you

message from personwhosnameimustnevermention:

the internet is full of fuckheads. i dont know that l knows anyone called wendy, but i cant see how you've written anything bad

if he and i can be happy with the way things are going in our lives, why cant the rest of you?