augie march...augie fucking march

despite the fact that i think some part of me broke on saturday night, the music was brilliant. i still havent realised that it doesnt matter how many times it tries to tell me that it is, alcohol is NOT my friend, and six vodkas for a girl who only needs one is 6 too many.

cracks started to appear earlier in the week. each time the phone made its 'you have a message' sound, the cracks widened.

i...just...cant....

i wrote it all out, wrote out why. i brought it with me, just incase. incase i had the courage to look at you with my eyes closed and hand it over. i didnt even get the chance to blink.

kissing out the front

i can yell incoherently at people in the distance half way through a sentance

talking at the bar

turning away to breathe

in my way when i tried to hide in the toilet

run the other way smack bang into the others

the ground moved. the cracks moved apart some more

run
run
run
run

there are only so many places to go in the gov when its full. i chose to stand in the middle and cry.

there was some more yelling, more running, more cracking

i'll be posting the letter tomorrow and i'll be booking myself in with the intake worker. i think its time they moved me up the list. stabbing is not a healthy passtime to be daydreaming about.

in other fun news, please have a read of part of a phone call i recieved tonight:

hello carly its "owner of your house" here, your lease runs out next week, when will you be moving out?

see, as of friday i wasnt aware i was moving out. as of friday, all that i had heard was that she had no money to any maintenance to the property whatsoever, and wanted to raise my rent by $35 a week. nosiree. i think the reason she has no money is because she keeps getting in trouble and has to pay fines like 136X$1000 for something, and $46,467.12 for something else. the internet is a funny place...


c r a c k e d? yes i think so