parallelograms of sunshine fell across the room

You know I'm thinking of you
In the bookstore, in the laundromat
Guess how much I love you
Much more, more than that
Guess how much I love you
More than that

Here's me
Here's you
Draw a line between the two
This is cartography for beginners
On a map the gap's three fingers
But it's more than that
It's more than that

guess how much i love you - the lucksmiths

im feeling better today. im sorry about the last few posts. you can all relate, i suppose, to the down days. i just happen to have been getting them quite a lot lately.
friday was not a good day. so when i remembered that i had tickets to the lucksmiths that night i almost called matt and got him to organise someone else to have my ticket. i really wasnt up to it. i talked myself into it tho. figuring that i'd be mad at myself if i didnt go since i love them so much, and that i could just find a seat, sit down and listen and maybe for a couple of hours i wouldnt think about how crappy everything seemed to be at that moment.

matt wasnt helping. we dropped the boys off at his parents house and they went off to see a movie. we hopped back in the car and drove off and he wouldnt tell me where he was going. when we pulled up at the lakes hotel i sighed and thought to myself, 'oh, dinner...maybe eating will make me feel better' since i've not been eating very well lately. i also thought that that was nice, him taking me out for tea. but then we walked into the bottle-o and he grabbed a pack of baileys glides for me. i didnt want them, but i really really did. he opened one up for me as soon as we got back into the car and i had finished them all before we left for the gig. it scares me but at the same time i want to give in just to feel something different for a change.

it helped, it must have, because i was actually talking and laughing before we left.

fred astereo played first. here's an excerpt from his bio

Ever wished someone were making music that you could slowdance to with a broom, like in some old black and white film? Guess what ? the swoonworthy melodies on Fred Astereo?s debut album I Love You may well hold the key to mystery worlds of forbidden fantasy... ?Just say the word and I will gladly do most anything ? release the demons from my soul, hit my head with a chair? croons Fred Astereo (aka Stanley Paulzen) on track one ?Sleepytown?, and it?s soon apparent I Love You is an album for lovers, dreamers, fools.

then ladybug transistor who were good aswell. we didnt actually see much of them, as we were out in the beer garden plotting our world domination of the adelaide music scene and discussion metal compounds, but they sounded really good and had a cute key board player and cute accents

the jade monkey is a really cool place to play and to see bands. it even has comfy lounges and a beer garden, and its no smoking which rules. on the way to or from the beer garden is usually pretty cramped though. i was going to say crowded but the place only holds 180 people, so cramped it is. and as i walked inside on my way to the loos i had to squeeze past some people at a table and a boy. the "boy" happened to be simon from paper tiger who i've already gushed about because hes lovely, writes beautiful songs and has a cute accent. we smiled at each other and were on out way. then the same thing happened on the way back, another squeeze past each other, another smile.

when the lucksmiths started i charmed my way into a good spot by smiling at a boy and asking nicely to stand in front of him since i was shorter and he said yes. there were three very special people having a dance in the front so i didnt join them since they were all in a special place of their own and taking up quite a bit of space with their dancing. i bopped away behind a very short girl and danced and danced till i realised i could feel someone against my left arm. i kind of moved away a little but then realised that i could feel it again.

remember that?

remember being at bands, seeing someone you thought looked nice and dancing next to them. so close that sooner or later you just hold hands and it all feels right?

well that was what was happening to me last night, all except for the hand holding anyway



it was so nice to feel like that again. it was just so nice to feel. i've been reminded that its not like people dont want me or pay attention to me, but this was that feeling. that new feeling. that 'i'll bottle you and take you out when i need a smile' feeling

so the band ended. i had a bit of a whinge, 'no no! come back! play more!' and simon suggested i go outside and ask them nicely, making sure to say 'please please'. his friend had been accosted by the crazy dancing lady so we attended to his broken chinese burned arm. crazy dancing lady.

funniest part of the night? telling simon and his friend that i'm in a band called humblebee and getting an 'oh yeah, i recognise that name' and then saying 'we've never played anywhere or released anything'. either that or giving our eps to mark monnone and when he asked if we gig much, just laughing as an answer.

hello, we're humblebee and we are the worlds laziest band

when i told simon i had to go he seemed a tad disappointed. i told him i had to work the next day, and that im a librarian. oh yeah, that got him. now he knows im sexy instead of just sensing it. is it only me who knows i live in a world of make believe or do you all know that?

despite telling him where i worked, when and that he should come and visit me, he didnt, so of course i have a broken heart but oh well. there's a lindt gold bunny sitting in the fridge with xander's name on it and then my name written over the top of it, so im going to grab that, retire to bed and read

again, im really sorry everyone. i havent been well lately and im sure it will return, but im just enjoying the good feeling while it lasts