earlier tonight, if you had said there was a a hippopotamus on my roof eating cake i would have called you a liar. because, it most certainly wasnt eating cake. or, if it was, it was doing many other noisy things at the same time. possibly tap dancing. with a heard of elephants

but we would both have been wrong, wouldnt we?

because it wasnt a hippo, nor was it an elephant or a heard of elephants

it was ridiculous clancy, coming inside with some ridiculous squealing animal in her mouth

i cornered the ridiculous squealing animal in the bathroom and hid it in a pillowcase while clancy kept digging in the shower cubicle BECAUSE SHE IS RETARDED.

it was really really loud. and strong. it actually got its little hands and pushed them against my fingers to try and squeeze out of them. it was such a person thing to do, i almost let it go. instead, i said 'oi, stop' stared at it. it stopped. its stopped wriggling, its heart stopped beating stupidly fast and it winked at me. did you read that, internet? weird mouse/rat/marsupial thing winked at me! first it used its person hands to try and escape, and then it winked at me




if it does happen to be a person, transformed into a mouse/rat/marsupial thing for some reason, i hope it remembers the good deed i did by rescuing it from the stupid mouth of my stupid cat, and releasing it back into the world (full of other cats, i do realise this) and comes back and gives me a present