for a while there i thought my keyboard had died. it didnt, it just didnt work for a bit. i wouldnt have been surprised you know, but it's working now, so, yeah, post means nothing.
although, you could read it and say, oh that poor girl and her ridiculous excuse for a computer, i'll buy her a new one. you could do that.

me : can you please check the letter box?
x : nup
me : but i thought that was your job?
xr : nup, it's your job
me : i thought my job was looking after you guys, cleaning the house, doing the washing, making the sandwhiches and all that
x : no, your job is to put e to bed and get the nintendo out
me : well who's job is it to check the letterbox then?
x : *shrugs* i dunno...maybe it's daddy's

saxon???
i didnt like saxon when he first went into the house, and it was entirely based on the fact that he was a 19 year old boy. but ever since the two houses were joined, i realised that as well as the 19 year old boyishness of him, he's actually quite sweet, and like chrissie said, he's like a big puppy with long legs bouncing everywhere.
so why, australia, did you vote him out of the house? he was there for entertainment value, and he was kinda cute in a 19 year old boy kind of way.
oh, im talking about big brother, but like you needed reminding

i dont get scat

as you may or may not know, there are many weird and wonderful things you can do that are sexual. and porn videos are a pretty good indicator of what these things are like, if you forget that the boobs are fake and that thesex is stop start so he can keep an erection and all those things.
anyway
so you've got 'normal' sex. i get that. bondage, i can understand that too. it's when you start getting into the really freaky stuff that i have a hard time. even then though, i can still see how they can be stimulating to some people.
for instance, plushie sex. ok, although i've never thought a stuffed toy was sexy, i have though that they are very very cute, so i can see the attraction of wanting to sleep with them, but sleep sleep, not sex. sex with a stuffed toy would still give the person stimulation, so i get that. it's like little girls riding their pillows and boys wiggling on their tummies, it makes them feel good, so i get it.
i get beastialtity. not how the girls moan and wriggle when they're sucking off a dog or rubbing a horse cock on their ass, but anything having actual intercourse with you has to produce some stimulation. i even understand sticking a mouse up your bum for the same reason.
there are lots of different sexual acts that i understand, scat is not one of them.
unless someone was pissing right on your clit for long enough for you to orgasm, i dont get it. i dont get how someone shitting in your mouth and then rubbing it all over you can make you feel so fucking hot.
you may wonder why im talking about this today. brett gave us a video to watch that he'd gotten off one of his friends. he dared us to watch the whole thing, because he almost vomited so he turned it off.
well brett, we accepted your challenge, and we also passed.
matt covered his eyes a little, and i did go to the toilet at one stage, wherein i was thinking, 'if i was pissing on someone rather than in the toilet, someone would have to pay me', but apart from that, we sat through the whole disgusting ordeal.
it was in german, i think, so we couldnt understand what they were saying, but i think that was better. first of all, a very unatractive naked man got ready. he put on a latex mask that only showed his eyes and mouth, then he put on stockings and a garter belt. he connected a chain to two little snappy pin things and connected those to his nipples. then, he tied a string of sueded leather around his balls, then around his dick and then hung two heavy weights from the string. next he walked around fingering his bum for a bit and then slipped a penis shaped butt plug up there. he put a collar and wrist bands on and then put a blindfold on. he was ready.
then this blonde woman, dressed in a corset thing and stockings and ultra high heels comes in. she is the Mistress, and she whips his bum a bit, inspects everything, tightens knots and so forth, and then clips his hands behind his neck. then starts the deluge of piss and shit.
i wont go into it in too much detail, but it involved one of those squeezy turkey baster things, lots of urine, an inflatable butt plug,three peoples shit, and a freaky cave man looking guy who couldnt get it up but looked to be having a good time anyway.
matt kept saying to me, 'they stick chocolate up their asses, its not all shit'. this may have been to make himself feel better as they were feeding each other hugs logs of the stuff and moaning about how good it was.
i dunno, call me old fashioned, but i just dont get turned on by having a piss and shit soaked pair of undies shoved in my mouth.
*shrugs* each to their own i guess

smile

ryan, thankyou for the offer of the x- box. where did you get it from? did you get it from an internet peadophile like penne taught you?
you dont have to send me an x-box, although the thought was very sweet. let me know your address and i'll send you out a cd. also, how long have you been visiting? and how come you havent made yourself known before?
i hope you'll keep visiting and invite all your friends, and maybe, if you do get me an x-box, your friends could send me some games :)

heeheeeee

the invasion has started again. kitchen mouse and his pals...or, girlfriends, have had babies.

sorry guys, once our money comes in, you're all going to die

*sigh*

well, my car is broken. fuel pump, apparently. it just keeps stopping. i tried to drive it to the mechanics and i had to start it again about 10 times to get it two houses up the street. f u c k e d. its getting fixed now, and hopefully it wont cost heaps because heaps of money is definatley what we dont have.
on other stupid and annoying news, my computer is acting like a spoiled brat. 'why should i work when you want me to?' it says, and i just stare at it in disbelief, knowing full well that i cant do anything about it..
so, anyone who'd like to donate money to the 'why the fuck should i have to put up with a dial up modem and 32MB RAM' fund, please go to paypal and enter my email address. i would be very appreciative and will send you a gift.
in other other news, hollys dad is a cunt
:)
what gives people the right to think that they can fuck up peoples lives will nilly. or, actually, not willy nilly, more premeditated nastiness with no remorse. if life was like tv, everything would be over in an hour, and it'd be all solved. as sean and i were talking about

carly - detective goran would have had him by now
sean - lol
sean - yeah
carly - he rules
sean - and jerry orbach would've busted his ass too, just for good measure
sean - yes he does
carly - and then the blonde chick would have sent him away fro life
carly - and then he'd get ass raped by some big dude, and he'd make him his bitch
sean - yep
carly - that'd rock

unfortunatley, life is not like a law and order episode, as much as i'd like it to be. and not for the obvious vincent donofrio reason.

~*~

happy 4th birthday x!!!!

~*~

at 4:22 on the 13th of june, 1999, my baby x was born. weighing a nice and healthy 8 pounds 10 ounces, he was all red and gross looking and didnt even look like a human for quite some time. now he's my big grown up 4 year old man that can count to 10 in french and knows more things about star wars and dinosaurs than i'll ever know.

have a good birthday sweetheart, mummy loves you

'so dad, you're brother is killing himself with alcohol and you're killing yourself with cigarettes, weird coincidence, huh'

hehehe, i make myself laugh sometimes

first of all, a little background. i like to collect....well, anything, as long as it's cute/pretty/80's, and i tend to lean towards strawberry shortcake and sylvanian families. sharyn, on the other hand, likes to collect the smurfs.
now, at the toyfair, sharyn found a mini figurine of strawberry shortcake for a dollar. this in itself is pretty fucking amazing since the going rate at the toyfair was at least 6 and i've seen them go for as much as 25US. if i had found a cool little smurf figure, i would have bought it and given it to her. did sharyn give me the strawberry shortcake? no, no she did not.

today, eli and i were driving down the road and i decided to pull into a new secondhand shop. its pretty crappy, i figured it would be, but i thought i may as well take a look. and what do you think i should find but 2 smurf videos.
am i going to give them to sharyn? no, no i am not. does that sound bitter, twisted, selfish and spiteful? yes, yes it does.

i am going to make copies for her though

a list of my favourite songs, in approximate order, from memory

mickey - toni basil
we built this city - starship
luka - suzanne vega
under the milkyway tonight - the church
metropolis - the church
if i could - 1927
thats when i think of you - 1927
various new kids on the block songs
wish you were here - pink floyd
polly - nirvana
jeremy - pearl jam
black - pearl jam
its a shame about ray - lemonheads
confetti - lemonheads
doll parts - hole
berlin chair - you am i
how much is enough - you am i
various you am i songs
you sound like louis burdett - the whitlams
various whitlams songs
captain - something for kate
end credits - career girls

stupid americans

"When they come out with a set of dolls called "Midge and her live-in lover and their new baby and her toddler from a previous relationship," then people will have something to complain about. LOL Or how about "Lesbian Barbie and Midge and their male friend who contributed sperm to get Midge pregnant"? "

i had a single mother barbie. i made her myself. what happened was that barbie and ken had a child just out of highschool, which explained why barbies daughter didnt look that much younger than her. ken was 'supporting' barbie by occasionally giving her useless gifts for the little girl, like scuba gear and stuff like that. then barbie finds out that ken is sleeping with her best friend, also, strangely enough, called barbie. now, since barbie #1 and #2 are ingenious girls, they came up with an idea to get the most out of ken. they blackmailed him, cant remember how, got lots of gear from him and went on a holiday, leaving the daughter with him, take that ken! start learning how to be a responsible father figure. i also had a mexican looking barbie with a broken leg who was the maid.

oh, also, if you can, check out life support on SBS. last episode, penne taught us how to use peadophiles to get a bit of extra cash. just make a webpage as if you were a 12 year old girl. make sure theres a photo of you, at 12, playing netball, and lots of gushing about various boybands and a lot of crying over how your parents dont understand you. then go into a chatroom, act like a precocious 12 year old, and wait. pretty soon there'll be guys talking to you. and if they dont believe you're 12, you can send them to your website to check you out. then, when they email you and tell you they love you, you can write back and say

my parents dont love me, they wont even buy me a playstation 2. how do i know you really love me?

sit back and wait for the playstation to arrive. it will usually come with a hardcore porn cdrom and some naked photos of a fat ugly balding man. sell the playstation, keep the photos incase you need to blackmail anyone and your porn colection will be the envy of all your friends

that penne, is a very helpful young lady

buffy fucking rocks

i am SO enjoying buffy this year. much more than other years, i think. i am actually stopping myself this time, from looking over the internet and finding out what happens because i want this year to be a surprise. i know it has something to do with spike and a necklace or something, but thats all im guessing.
so funny too. when fred rang, and andrews all, 'willow, theres someone called fred on the phone, he sounds pretty feminine' and then he makes this face like it could be someone he'd like to meet. heehee, andrew

on a non buffy note..... nope, nothing..... my feet are cold....thats about it

look at what sean made for me and holly and him. lovely :)

thankyou sean :)

the toy fair was on over the weekend. we did pretty well. we would have done better had we not bought a whole lotta stuff, but i do now have a sylvanian families house AND a pony. matt got a yakface and a millenium falcon. he also got battle poncho luke and romba, so now he's only got to get lando general pilot and barada and he's finished the collection. of course he still has to get all the variations. like a tusken raider with hollow face tubes, or a turtle neck leia, or a big headed han. actually, he has most of those, they're just the only ones i can think of.
all in all we had a pretty good weekend. at first i was a bit uncomfortable being surrounded by so many toy geeks, but i soon felt at home. i didnt so much feel like one of the remote control car geeks that were near the kitchen. they even had coke bottle glasses and one was called ian.
oh, how i needed to have a few spare hundred dollars. there was one guy from brisbane who had almost all the strawberry shortcake dolls, with their pets and combs. there was a berry bake house in its box. there was a cookie jar that was $50, and is worth up to $750 US, and that was a couple of years ago. i did get a cute little handbag though, so that made me happy. and matt found a mooseal for me, yay

it's my blog's one year anniversary tomorrow, presents are most welcome :)

thankyou to everyone who stops by here and reads about the meagre goings on in my life, i hope you'll all keep visiting and making me smile

thanks :)

also, this is the reason the internet was invented

he is a fuckhead

i dont think i'll ever say that enough

or asstwit....thanks for that one holly :)

care factor = zero

my uncle is currently on life support in intensive care, in a coma because he drank himself into it. my nanna and poppa found him collapsed on the laundry floor on friday. he is such a selfish bastard. he's like, 52 or something, and living with his parents because he and his ex were fighting over every single thing in their divorce settlement. therefore, all his assets had been frozen. the three houses, the 2 cars, his superannuation, all of it. so he's living with his parents, drinking himself into oblivion. they were having to clean him up when he shits and pisses himself cos he's too drunk to get up and go to the toilet. he's a 52 year old man, and he's fucking huge, my poppa has just had chemo every day for the last 7 weeks, they cant be expected to do that stuff...they shouldnt have to.
i have no good memories of my uncle. he is a loud, selfish bastard. no one apart from my nanna and poppa, cares about the fact he's dying. his kids are carrying on as usual. my dad said that if he has to do a eulogy at the funeral he'll just say that he was a mongrel.

must feel nice to be loved like that. i guess that was part of the reason he was a drunk, although he's so self absorbed that he probably didnt even know everyone hated him.

so he'll probably die by the end of the week.

love and other catastrophes

love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration

dh lawrence

love...is a quicksilver word; though you see plainly where it is, you have only to put your finger on it to find that it is not there but someplace else

morton hunt

love is the same as like except you feel sexier

judith viorst

happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length

robert frost

jealousy: that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive

havelock ellis

sometimes when one person is missing the whole world seems depopulated

lamartine

it is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations

kahill gibran