what? do i have to hose them off the porch or something???

i saw them standing outside my house, down the bottom of the driveway. four of them in a huddle. i know they saw me through the loungeroom window, i know they saw how i was standing, and i know that i was putting forward a 'dont fuck with me' kind of attitude. i watched them for a while and then continued with my business.
there was a knock at the door. i sighed and eli and walked into the loungeroom. i could tell what they were. without having to look at their little newsletters and pamphlets and magazines. i didnt open the screen door.
'hello, i'm a minister from the local chursh up on beach road. and as we're neighbours i thought i'd come along and say hello..'
'hello'
'aaah, yes :) hello. i was thinking the other day about the state of the world and what bad shape it's in. and i was thinking about how it's great that i have something that i believe in, that can see me through'
'yeah, thats great for you, and im happy for you that you have that in your life' (turning to leave)
'yes, but, wouldnt it be great if we all had this to believe in? if we all had something stable in our lives, something true and good'
at this point i'd like to point out that elijah had no pants on and the other minister was looking at him. i had a t shirt on that had ' ask me about my beautiful babacos, the champagne fruit' written across my boobs and he was staring right at them. btw, dont ask me about my beautifil babacos cos all i can tell you is that they are the champagne fruit.
anyway
'yep, and it's great that you believe in that. and if it happens for you...'
'when it happens'
'if it happens for you then i'm happy for you and thats great'
'you dont believe?'
'no, i dont believe'
'well what do you believe? evolution? the big bang? do you believe in 'some thing'?'
and i can see him getting ready to spurt off all his pre prepaired answers for saying you believe in any of those things, but he's not ready for me
'i believe in faeries'
and he laughs
now, did i laugh at him when i saw him and knew that he believed in god? no, no i didnt. but he laughs at me, and my beliefs. thats not very nice, is it?
'i believe in faeries, and i dont push my beliefs onto anyone. and thats the way i think things should be. be good to each other, believe what you want to believe, and dont push your beliefs onto other people'
'yes, but.'
'no, i dont think you should push your beliefs on other people'
'but dont you wish you could know for sure that your family, your little ones, would be looked after, will be taken care of, have something truthful to belive in...'
'my kids can believe whatever they want to believe. if they want to believe in god, then thats fine with me, if they want to believe in faeries, then thats fine with me to. they can make up their own minds when they're older'
'but,'
'no, i dont want to hear buts from you. i dont think you should push your beliefs on other people. you can believe what you like and i have no problem with that as long as you keep it to yourself.'
'yes, but i believe i am saving people by telling them. if i saw someone swimming and i saw a shark coming at them, id need to tell them, to help them. i know i can help by telling people about the...'
here is where i interrupt, for the last time
'look, i wish you well, i hope you have a really good day, thanks, bye'
turn around, shut the door

i am surprised i lasted that long. im also surprised at my composure. i didnt yell, i didnt get rude or angry at them. i spoke calmy the whole time.

damn christians, get off my porch