read into this whatever you would like



banjo is a lovely little cat. but you wanna know something? stuff has happened to her in her past that isnt very nice, that you wouldnt wish on another cat.
there has been a mean black cat hanging around her. he preys on her, jumps her when she isnt looking. waits for her. sprays all his cat sperm all over her. not nice? no, not nice at all. she doesnt like it, and i can see that she tries to fight him off but he's bigger and stronger than she is and in the end she just gives up and lets him. she's afraid to go outside sometimes. she's afraid he'll get her.

she has done a few things in her life that arent all that good. she's caught animals and eaten them. she's broken the screens on windows. she's scratched people and her sister. she's also run away a couple of times and when she gets back, she acts like she hasnt done anything wrong.

you know what though? that doesnt excuse the black cat for what he has done to her. it doesnt give him the right to hurt her, to impose himself on her.

as an older cat, he should know better, and the wider community should know that just because banjo has done things in her life that others may not agree with, it does not mean that its a lie that the black cat has hurt her.

make me smile

have i told you lately how much i love matthew baldwin? i havent? well, i do. (p.s, mark, if you're reading this, even though i said i love matthew baldwin, that doesnt mean you shouldnt contact me cos, he's married and has a kid and is in america, and i think you're a spunk and want to pash you)

Cacophony

Three musical instruments are sitting in a bar and, after a few drinks, they begin boasting.

"I don't want to brag," says the first, "but I'm a drum. And drums, as I'm sure you know, were the first instruments in the history of the world, used not only for music but also for long range communication and even to motivate soldiers in a time of war. Just about every style of music uses drums of some sort -- hell, there probably wouldn't even be music it if wasn't for us."

"Drums are great, if you only want to play one note," the second instrument cuts in. "But as piano, I have 88 keys to choose from. Most of the great classical music was written with me in mind, and even today my cousin, the keyboard, is central to the creation of modern music."

"Don't talk to me about modern music," scoffs the third instrument. "I'm a guitar, and while you old-timers may have been big in your day, it's the 21st century now. And it's guitars like me that have made rock & roll the most popular music in the world today."

The second instrument sizes up the third skeptically, and then says "What are you talking about? You're not a guitar, you're nothing but a small harp."

And the third instrument leaps off of his stool and shouts, "Are you calling me a lyre?!"

post secret


when i saw this, i almost cried and my thought was 'me too'

and then i thought no. fuck you. this is not how i feel. it is not my fault, it never has been and never will be.

it is your fault

and everyone knows that, even you

ch ch ch changes

so many things have changed, and are changing. i've moved into a new house, my baby is about to start school, im on holidays as of tomorrow afternoon, soon i'll be flying out of the country. people are moving in and out, there are new people i want to meet and old people i never want to see again. its strange how things can be so different.

star in the making
aka
you can say you knew me back then

soon i will be an internet star. no, i have not released a porn video ALTHOUGH i cant find the one ther eis of me...hmm...must look into that. anyway, soon-internet star
yes, will be a star somewhere between the shining lights of the internet and big brother. oh yeah, im going places.

tv is my life will be starting its first series of big blogger and i am a housemate....netmate? blogmate? im gonna say housemate. its all a big secret what will happen in the house and none of us know what will happen. oh how exciting. i just hope i get to be onneighbours afterwards, and release my own single and makeup

dreams

for quite a while now my sleeping hours have been quite similar to my waking hours. my mind has been full of the same subjects and i cant seem to get away from them, even by retreating into sleep which is my usual way of coping. books are helping, but they only keep me awake all night to find myself asleep during the day where i still dream the same things.

dont dream its over?

i'd love to dream it was over

there are two stars of my dreams that i never really want to dream about again, and i was lucky enough to get rid of one of them last night, to start dreaming about my upcoming trip.

rushing, always rushing. worrying i'll be late, and i was, but they made an exception and they let me on the plane but then he wasnt there. he called to say he was meeting me. then i realised i didnt have my ticket for the next plane. i ran to the taxi stand, jumped in a taxi, cried the whole way thinking i'll never make it.

flash to a grey set of flats, staying with m and x. its raining. we're running late. m is staling and stuffing around. wants to put a letter f on his guitar even though we need to leave and he's packed it away on its case up on top of a bookshelf. we leave. we're driving in japan on roads that looks like the hills and paddocks towards victor. we miss a street. we get out. there is mud. there are baddies. back in the car. drive again. something to do with a frog.

flash to my house. baby cat that looks like banjo. being told to squash her. suffocate her and watch her lungs deflate. its a science class. biology lesson. i dont feel anything till its over.

and then the shining moment, the part where my brain comes through for me and saves me from a night of not great.
harrison ford wants to do it with me, and my mum knows and shes encouraging it. its not everyday you get to have sex with harrison ford. he comes over, bringing his baby son who is holding a cigarette between his tiny baby fingers. its burning down really low and i worry it will burn him so i try to take it away but he moves and it does burn him. harrison is a bit upset, but he understands. he's wearing a bathrobe. its a weekend, you see, he doesnt like to rush around in the morning. he sits me down on the floor, leaning against the couch. i think to myself that i wish i wasnt wearing jeans.

and we kiss

the hardest part is looking at you now, looking like you did all those years ago, except im not the one making you happy

Dear person who came here using anonym

it didnt work. you better look into finding a different way of hiding yourself

love from carly

forever in search of the alternative to love

Whenever you feel me slipping away
Then that's when you should hold me tight
If you sense that there's something wrong
Then why not make it right?
Make it right
Maybe we'll get it together
Maybe it will last forever

brendan benson

a hot tip

hungry jacks at hallett cove. play 80's songs on the jukebox.ask for james. get him to say icecream.

it was only a matter of time

so, the truth fairy and andrew bolt got together and had a sweet little love child called amanda williams. how lovely.

*insert leave me alone, its my space to say what i want blah blah blah crap here*

but honestly, write what you like. i dont care what you think of me. you say im a...hang on, i have to look..oooh! you wish i would curl up and die! thats a bit harsh...let me find a nicer one...um, ok.

loser

yeah, you're right actually. i dont win an awful lot. but then again i dont often enter any competitions or have races with people so thats not exactly losing is it? its more like not participating. there you go, you non-participator!

but you amanda, no one could call you a non participator. why, you've come out of nowhere to call me names so well done, you're a winner in your books.

hypothetical

your best friend has a problem with your boyfriend. its really hard to explain, and he tries all the time, but it never comes out right. its gotten really bad too, hyperventillating when he's around, getting blood noses, panic attacks; its not good. but because he is your best friend, and really, he doesnt make up the rules of your life and he knows that, he doesnt ask you to break up with this guy. he just asks to be given a little warning if the bf is going to be there when he comes over, that sort of thing.
you say sure, thats fine, thats reasonable.
life happens.
then one night you're best friend is on his way to your place (he knows you're coming btw) to pick something up. when he gets there, your boyfriends car is parked out the front. this comes as a complete shock to your best friend and he starts to have a panic attack in the car. he calls you as he's speeding off and says he cant go in there, can you bring the things over to his place.
no, you say. you're doing him a favour by looking after the things, get back here and pick them up.
no, you dont understand, says the best friend. you cant, you just cant. you cannot physically bring yourself there.
there is an arguement with a lot of yelling.
the things get brought over, but its not over.
your best friend tells you he's never speaking to you again.

hypothetically

its ok, you can stop looking now

im not playing hide and seek! its ok, you can stop looking, everyone....everyone? oh. you werent looking? hello? what? you mean there isnt anyone here? oh, ok then. well, i...um...i guess i'll just go then? maybe? yeah....ok

well

if any of you out there were wondering, i moved house and i have no internet or phone till next week

extrapolate

i think i should make myself a little bit clearer in terms of my last post.

he's not my ex. he's been my boyfriend since september. we're going overseas in july.

last week i asked him if he still liked me as much. he sighed, paused....the pause turned into stalling....and he said 'i will still take you around france if we're just friends'

anyone?

see, i think it might be ok. i think the walking around and showing me of things might take up the majority of the time, therefore there shouldnt be much time for sulking and sooking about people not liking people.
i also doubt i'll have another chance to go there. moneywise and timewise.

but i dont want to be stuck over there upset and wanting to go home, fighting and arguing, and thinking of all the things i could have been doing with the money i sent on a ticket.

i still have some time to decide...

missing

last saturday night in a drunken stumble i lost a letter at the governer hindmarsh hotel. if anyone found it, could i get it back? im going to try and rewrite it tonight, it'll never be the same though.

quiz

would you fly overseas with a recent ex?

circle yes/no