tell me...what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

awake again. i'll be at work in just under 8 hours. i dont see myself sleeping for more than 4 of them. so far, i've thought about finishing my dishes. perhaps clearing off the kitchen table, or hanging out the washing thats still in the machine. but all of those things are cold, so instead i made myself a cup of hot chocolate, i emailed people i shouldnt, and i wrote songs

a little out of luck

and its bang and you're all there, staring and smiling
fake smiles that dont quite hide all that you're thinking
she doesnt belong here
she cheats and she lies
she shouldnt be here
pretending not to hide
its all a front and its crumbling down
she's trying to have fun while they're swarming around
ready to pounce and they do and shes gone
she can only fight for so long
sooner or later she wont even know
the reason for crying, wanting to be home
instead its fake smiles for a different crowd
till blankets and memory hold her down

trusting me with maths

i was never good at remembering the rules
you and me and then theres three
and ive forgotten how to use the tools

i failed the first test
then one week later
trusting me with maths to be the money taker
i dont know if i can do this
ticking you all off that list

i was never good at those thinking lessons
always better in pretending sessions
should i use it as a practice piece?
you can be the princess and i'll be the beast
trying her hardest to fit in

do the job right
add it all up
dont start a fight
dont spill that cup

i dont wish for things to get heated
but i dont think i was the only one who cheated

when your memory plays tricks on you

wishing that the words i spoke came out in invisible ink
or even that before i spoke i took some time to think

remember that you loved me once

imagine how hard this must be
heart and words are trapped tween my teeth
looking up from down here you seem so far away
then i remember its been more than yesterday

remember that you loved me once

third times a charm
but i see nothing but harm
from putting us back together
there used to be a time when i would bet that we
would weather all kinds of weather

remember that you loved me once
remember it was longer than just one day
remember that you loved me once
and i'll try and remember you that way

ben, hop to it