father christmas in the south of adelaide

eli and i had a breakfast date with kirsty this morning. apart from dripping with snot, he was very well behaved, and kirsty even played with him when he attacked her with his giant lizard

looking something like this, and at almost a metre long, this is the gift eli has chosen to get personimustnevermention for christmas.

things about elis gift for personimustnevermention that are great

• its totally an eli gift. no one else would think of a giant lizard
• he thought of it all by himself
• he will never guess what it is
• its a giant lizard and its not going to be at my house
• he will have to find somewhere appropriate to house said lizard
• did i mention the giant lizard isnt going to be at my house?

after breakfast we decided to visit father christmas, just to show him the lizard. this turned out to be a fantastic idea, one that father christmas was delighted with. as i stood there and frowned a little at the silver sheen of snot on eli's cheeks, father christmas was looking over the lizard with great intrest, proclaiming how amazing it was, the stuff that you could get at cheap as chips. and the price! you cant beat it. why, he buys all his tools there, for any odd jobs he needs to do. and if they break, he just throws them away and buys another one.
"been to darwin mate?"
(eli stares silently)
"plenty of crocs up in darwin. you'll be in your pool and look up, suddenly theres a croc in there. i tell ya, you get out of there quick smart. been to california? "
im confused, but then i notice it says california on eli's shirt, 'no, its just a tshirt'
"good surf in california. how old are you?"
'five'
"play footy?"
'yes'
"and what about when you're bigger? who will you play for?"
'the crows'
"good lad, here, have a cd. thats a great lizard. i might have to go up there when im finished here today. its amazing what they can make for the price"

its about now that i start to thank father christmas, wrestle the lizard from his hands, and back away slowly. we've had enough santa for today, thanks