dear windows media player, how are you? good i hope. i must say, you're looking quite nice in your updated state. very swish. i wiondered when that would happen. your old self was looking a little...dated? anyway, nice job sprucing yourself up. so the reason im writing is firstly to thank you for finding some great music that i havent listened to in a long time. there are various reasons for this. thinking i didnt feel like listening to that band, forgetting i had that cd, and the main one, knowing that if i listened to that album i would fall back in time and get sad/mad/sulky, etc (please see convenience, kings of).
so far, i have managed to listen to a lot of songs and simply sing along, thats all. its been great. but, as you may have noticed, there are some songs which see me diving for the 'next' button. im wondering if you will learn this over time, or should i go through and rate them as only one star so you wont play them as often? i dont want to get rid of them totally, as in truth, they are good songs, and one day i hope to listen to them again with no feelings but 'this is a good song to sing along to'. perhaps i'll just go do the star idea, see how that works.
anyway, just thought i'd send you a catch up letter, let you know how im going, see how you're going, that sort of thing. see what you can do about that song thing? thanks mate
Give my love to you, oh, baby, gonna make you feel so right...oooh sugar
Gonna make you make you happy
Spend some time with you, do the things you want me to
Gonna make love
Gonna make some sweet sweet love, sugar
So get ready
Oh get ready get ready
Ready for loving tonight
Baby
Before we get down to love
Before we get down
I just gotta finish this level
I gotta high score tonight
I just gotta save my game
I'll be with you in a minute sweet baby
I love how you dance for me
(But could you) move a little to the left baby
I can't see the TV
Baby I can't wait till we start, oooh
It's just that the save points are so far apart...in this game baby
But I do love you
Baby this bit's got multiplayer
Maybe you can operate a turret with me baby, would you like that?
It's good cause games five you hand eye coordination
And spacial intelligence together with map reading skills
Ahhh, sugar
Turn the lights down low
Lower, lower
Turn the lights down low
Just a little bit lower
Turn the lights down low
It's just that it helps me feel like I'm in a spaceship
Then we can make some
Sweet sweet love honey
Sugar
Baby
Ooo you look so great to me, baby
Have you brushed your teeth yet?
Take your time
No hurry
It's just that I'm not tired. Are you tired?
I'll see you in the bed then
You might want to take a book
Oooh, you so fine baby
Doo doo doo doo
I can't stop thinking about you...and all the coins I have to collect
I just gotta find one secret area
Get one more ability point
And I'll make sweet love to you baby
I think this xbox
Is the best present I ever bought for you...
Baby
Thursday, December 14, 2006
you were right
And I Was busy finding answers while you just got on with real life Always hoped you'd be my wife But I never found the time For the question to arrive I just disguised it in a song
And songs are never quite the answer Just a soundtrack to a life That is over all too soon Helps to turn the days to night While I was wrong and you were right
'what if you go away?' 'what do you mean?' 'i mean what if you go away?' 'what if you go away?' 'thats what i mean' 'well we just wont. we wont because they're our kids and they're not bargaining chips or leverage. we cant barter days and fight about who has them longer. they're not an inconvenience, they're children'
and when i said it, i meant it. but immediately afterwards i burst into tears.
i've never wanted to be further away in my whole life
really im just substituting one made up person for another
there are some things you have to lie about as a mother. im sure quite a few of you know that, most especially since about half way through last year, i am trying very very hard not to lie anymore. and i'm succeeding...mostly. the thing is, its christmas, isnt it? and earlier on there was easter, and inbetween those the tooth fairy came to visit a few times.
so you can see that there are some situations where a lie is the right answer, at least for a little while.
one thing i'm being very honest about with my kids is religion. leading up to easter there was a lot of jesus talk at school. i didnt say it was true, i didnt say it was lies, but i did start most sentences with 'some people believe' and i also told them 'i dont believe'. so when eli and i were at colonades and he stopped to look at the nativity scene, i didnt pull him away, but i didnt explain anything either. i just waited. if he had questions, he'd ask them
and he did.
'whats that baby doing in there?' 'thats baby jesus' 'why is he in there?' 'some people believe that jesus was born on christmas day, so christmas is his birthday' 'oh'
i reach down and take his hand. we start to walk away.
if i still had my old computer, and it didnt fuck itself in the eye with its giant penis, i could show you a photo of the first boy who stole my heart online.
many years ago, i started chatting in an irc client called mirc. i met quite a few lovely people there. quite a few freaks too, that goes without saying, but some nice people as well. among the list of names down the side of the screen, was rancor. its not an attractive name...i guess the main thing it has going for it is that its not 'hotstud69', but there was something that attracted me to this boy. quiet and polite, we started talking
his name was jonas. he was from copenhagen. he worked in a zoo.
we spoke lots. lots and lots. chatting turned to emails which turned to letters and parcels and phone calls. one night i broke the payphone trying to make sure i had enough coins to talk to him. that night, i later found out, he was going to tell me he loved me.
time went on. i came into a few thousand dollars. i contemplated leaving thepersonwhoimustnevermention and flying to denmark.
then i got pregnant.
jonas and i spoke less frequently. he got a girlfriend. we spoke even less. i emailed him once a year on his birthday. then that stopped. and then there was nothing.
then the other day i was playing in youtube. im not sure if you know how retarded i am at computers. oh you do? then what im about to say will come as no surprise to you, especially those of you who were recipients. i clicked a button in youtube which i thought would show me who in my address book had a youtube account. instead, it emailed everyone and told them i had videos to share. this is a lie. i have no videos. the replies started rolling in. there were many 'this email cannot be sent's, which was great. a whole lot of people i havent embarressed myself infront of. then there were messages from people i dont know, trying to work out how they got in my address book. for a little while, my favourite response was
What??????????
Ciao.......Audrey
and then this came through
Hi Carly Hope YOU don't get nervous breakdowns hearing from ME :) Didn't get nervous or anything about the link... mainly because I had no idea who sent it :) Hope everything is fine down there in "under"? :) Jonas
and my heart skipped a beat and i smiled bigger than i have in a long time.
my jonas :)
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
im just going to say that we should all be very proud of sandi right now
eli and i had a breakfast date with kirsty this morning. apart from dripping with snot, he was very well behaved, and kirsty even played with him when he attacked her with his giant lizard looking something like this, and at almost a metre long, this is the gift eli has chosen to get personimustnevermention for christmas.
things about elis gift for personimustnevermention that are great
its totally an eli gift. no one else would think of a giant lizard
he thought of it all by himself
he will never guess what it is
its a giant lizard and its not going to be at my house
he will have to find somewhere appropriate to house said lizard
did i mention the giant lizard isnt going to be at my house?
after breakfast we decided to visit father christmas, just to show him the lizard. this turned out to be a fantastic idea, one that father christmas was delighted with. as i stood there and frowned a little at the silver sheen of snot on eli's cheeks, father christmas was looking over the lizard with great intrest, proclaiming how amazing it was, the stuff that you could get at cheap as chips. and the price! you cant beat it. why, he buys all his tools there, for any odd jobs he needs to do. and if they break, he just throws them away and buys another one. "been to darwin mate?" (eli stares silently) "plenty of crocs up in darwin. you'll be in your pool and look up, suddenly theres a croc in there. i tell ya, you get out of there quick smart. been to california? " im confused, but then i notice it says california on eli's shirt, 'no, its just a tshirt' "good surf in california. how old are you?" 'five' "play footy?" 'yes' "and what about when you're bigger? who will you play for?" 'the crows' "good lad, here, have a cd. thats a great lizard. i might have to go up there when im finished here today. its amazing what they can make for the price"
its about now that i start to thank father christmas, wrestle the lizard from his hands, and back away slowly. we've had enough santa for today, thanks
Monday, December 04, 2006
what else to say, but 'hello adelaide'
mark says: ok mark says: woah mark says: um mark says: does personyoumustnevermention have a beard? carly says: ...yeah mark says: oh my god mark says: i was just about to type when i got back from europe the girl i was with for the 2 and a bit years before that was with a guy who has two kids mark says: his name is personimustnevermention mark says: he has a beard mark says: our ex's are together carly says: spiffle mark says: yep carly says: fuck carly says: of course they are carly says: hello adelaide mark says: yeah
so when eli and i were at colonades and he stopped to look at the nativity scene, i didnt pull him away, but i didnt explain anything either. i just waited. if he had questions, he'd ask them
