this is why i cant wait for my kids to do projects

from ampersand duck

tagged by threads of gold who i still havent linked to even though she linked to me aaaaaages ago

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

What does next year have in store for me?
doorbell - the whitestripes

What's my love life like?
nothing better - the postal service

What do I say when life gets hard?
driveway to driveway - superchunk

What do u think of on waking up?
ready to die - no through road

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
north - phoenix

What do you want as a career?
pink bullets - the shins

Your favourite saying?
lapdog - rail

Favourite place?
tasmanian devils - simon skrodal

What do you think of your parents?
pas si simple - amelie soundtrack

What's your Pornstar name?
middle of the hill - josh pyke

Where would you go on a first date?
gone for good - the shins

Drug of choice?
sundress - ben kweller

Describe yourself
showstopper - sarah blasko

What is the thing i like doing most?
another sunny day - belle and sebastian

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
punks not dead - darren hanlon

How will I die?
my bloody valentine - ratcat

and i tag all my new myspace friends; crevu, miss k, candy lad, james, nicko, and black dog

saturday night

my saturday night started at about 6 when i went to bed and had a nap. when i woke up at around 10, i had a shower, got dressed, fed the cats, by this stage it was 11 and i needed music. i put on the pipettes at the usual volume, then remembered the time, and turned it down.

i got lost in ebay

at 11:30 or so i got a message and headed into the city

i wore my new $5 dress and got lots of comments.

i met ben who likes drum and bass. both brett and mark pretended to be my boyfriends, and joanne shook her head and said no. he still managed to dance up and down me.

then this happened



and this



and then this



and it was fantastic

people who should play at the big day out and arent

the shins
brendan benson
belle and sebastian
the pipettes
ben kweller
deathcab for cutie
jose gonzales

also, lily allen should be playing adelaide

oh...thankyou...i guess

i got an email on myspace

	sergio http://www.myspace.com/36428077
Date:	Nov 26 2006 2:44 AM Flag spam/abuse [ ? ]
Subject:	i guess
Body:	u really have a pretty cute face.. so when are u comin to milano? i guess we should meet:) let me have ur MSN adress.. hope to hear from u soon ciao

dinau dinau dinaudinau aaaaAAAAAAA

its the australian idol theme song, der!

and so it begins. here are my notes from 730 this evening. i wont be explaining them. i made them up to 3 hours ago. i'll just be typing them.

young divas - paulini: skinny
scary diva: has new boobs
kate: cant dance. also made a good financial decision to join the group rather than go it alone
impulse diva: still exactly the same

pretty monkey has lost his mo and other monkey said a whole long spiel without blinking

callea: shorter, uglier, boringer, balder

deni and marcia: is deni dressing like her mother in an attempt to get her to like her more than jess?
'the boys are all jealous' says x.
'of what?'
'they just are'
i wonder if its because marcia is more manly that them and consider asking him, but decide not to as i already teased him enough about not being able to see the new harry potter cos its rated m.
boys go to bed

guy sebastian: what the fuck is that poor excuse for a guitar he is playing? where are the pickups? ooh, rock voice. guys grown some balls. must have got some sex. he should have a chat to dean. then send him my way. pfft, pointy shiny shoes. bored now. teehee, my cat just noticed my new lights. cute. ooh, he's rising up into the air like a god. god, hehe. looks a bit like a spaceship. perhaps hes a scientologist now.

shannon noll, huh. well, i have cheese and crackers here at the moment, so i'll tell you about those. i bought some mainland vintage the other day. it has a nice bitey tang to it, and also i like the little fridge men on the ad. the biscuits are saladas. i tried buying the better for you saladas with less fat and less salt etc, but they dont break on the line so ive gone back to the originals.
shannon is on the spaceship now. if he goes up in the air it wont be exciting cos guys already done it. he has shiny pointy shoes too. wtf is with that?

oh good, its over

DONT TALK TO HIM!!!

ads: season final of tripping over already? that didnt last long. i still think abe forsythe is better looking that the other one, daniel something. that would be because he's younger, probably.

an ad for colonnades. spun out. its not gonna bring anyone down here tho.

back to idol: THEYRE RIDING HORSES! oh, no they're not. its just plebs riding horses. jess and damo are in a cart. boring. your boobs are squished, klanie keough.

that bow is bad, jess. your dress would have looked much prettier without it. ditto damians hood. much prettier without.

aw, my cat is playing with a sock

ok, here we go...

yay its chris! i miss chris. lisa! and scared loser from way back.
mutto...meh. reigan, i quite liked her.
BOBBY!
they actually sound really nice together

now its the little aussie battler in a vest, NOT GAY. klancie...old diva...
DEAN! fuck he is a nice looking boy

jess is crying already, beautiful little thing

reigan: stupid gloves
mutto: stupid hair
klancie: stupid twang
joseph: cant think of anything to say about him
old diva: wtf is that around her shoulders?
ooh, nice arms, dean. not even his turn to sing yet
welcome back lisa...you really cant dance, but you're happy, so thats good
BOBBY!!!
well hello dean!
yeah chris! go chris
ricky...you really try hard...well done, good boy. def not gay...
damien is singing and all i can think is that klancies boobs look so much more comfortable in that top than before...pants tho? bad pants, klanc

is anyone elses set top box tv cutting out a lot tonight? its really shitting me.

ok, i got a bit waylaid watching jess. didnt take any notes, just watched. she is such a beautiful, happy girl. its so nice to see smiles. her cheeks must really hurt

ooh, ben kweller is coming. oh. john mayer. ben better be doing sideshows

you know, damien looks a lil bit spunky in some of those shots. there was one little irish kid that was cute, and damos sister is pretty, but really, the irish arent all that attractive, are they. i am totally basing that assumption on a two minute clip produced by australian idol btw. if you are irish, spunky, and most importantly single, cos im sick of boys with girlfriends, feel fre eto make yourself known. go on. feel free. please? i'll even look away while you type your number in

....

g: and the winner of australian idol, 2006, is mr damien leith
text from me to kirsty: damien
text from kirsty to me: lame
text from me to kirsty: actually ist quite lovely. jess is still smiling and laughing the entire time, she;s hilarious. damien is making lots of irish noises that make no sense

....

then i fed my cats, contemplated watching almost famous, but decided that you would be hanging to read my idol wrap up, so here i am typing it out for you.

oh, kirsty. auditions for next years big brother are december 8. i reckon you should go for it

now im gonna go check petstarr and see if their idolblog is done...

i am hot




apparently

i snorted

Slim Pickings

In 2003, Guy Sebastian beat Shannon Noll.
In 2004, Casey Donovan beat Anthony Callea.
In 2005, Kate Farnham-DeRouge beat Emily Williams.
Things aren't looking good for Damien, who seems destined to become the fourth consecutive skinny man to lose the Australian Idol final.

scott, to be certain

reading

im reading moby dick.

well, i'm not actually reading it. im reading 'the art of kissing' by hugh morris. printed in 1936, is a rolliking book of fact finding fun! meanwhile im reading moby dick vicariously through matthew baldwin, who we all know my undying unrequited un-word that means he doesnt love me back, nor does he even know i exist...love for.

not only do i get to read selected paragraphs from the actual book, i get a summary of 50 or so of the pages, a list of words and their meanings, and wonderful little gems of his own thoughts, like this one

Likewise with the edutainment chapters. Ishmael knew nothing about whaling before he joined the Pequod; now that they are at sea, though, he suddenly breaks the narrative with entire chapters devoted to the taxonomy of oceanic mammals and the migratory patterns of whales. Apparently he can access Wikipedia via the Pequod wireless network.

tom: And you are mistaking... Zack braff want's to marry me...Unfortunatly I'm not gay so I just said:"Let's just be friends instead!"

i need to share with you the radness that is my son

all saints!

!!!!!!!!

in my dream i was pashing mark priestley til the cows came home

which they didnt

because there were no cows

blow out the candles



after 12 years, chris crouch is closing down candle records, the most amazing record company ever to walk the face of this earth, if record companies could walk.

i saw darren hanlon last night at the jade monkey. crouchy was there, as always. it was such a great night. i hope he still travels around a bit with some of the bands. of course the batteries in my camera died just as i went to take the first photo, but i have a couple of snaps on my phone.
eli even had the class bear, gummy, to stay over night with him last night so gummy had a bit of an adventure. he got to go to a soundcheck and meet a famous musician.

darren and his tour manager, nat were really lovely with the boys. talking to them and asking them questions. dazz asked the boys what their fav band was. e said darren hanlon, x said the decemberists and shirley bassey. i think they made a good impression. x helped bree set up her drums, and then had a song writing moment in the toilets where he composed a new hit.

i was walking along the road
i fell over and hurt my knee
i was feeling miserable
then i saw my best friend
and then i felt alright

something like that

anyway, thankyou to everyone for a wonderful wonderful night

and thankyou to chris crouch, for the music

tomorrow eli is meeting darren hanlon

they're going to sing 'eli wallach' together




it shall be the battle of the guitars

still undecided as to whether or not im big day outting next year. i knowif i dont i'll be pissed that i missed it, but its $115 for bands ive already seen, or dont care about. it'll be the day itself that i'll miss. the walking around and seeing everyone, the laying on the grass looking up at everyone, the stumbling home in the dark afterwards...

something i am looking forward to is my birthday. im not too sure why im so excited this time round. its not a 'big' birthday, like a 16th, 18th or 21st. its not even a 30th. but i've already made the invitations. im wondering now if i should theme it...maybe 80's formal...i've never been to one of those...

will let you know

but you're all invited

in march

so theres heaps of time

dont worry

in the hope of ending this ridiculousness, i am going to publish all my crushes. hopefully one or more of these people will get back to me, and we can make out

ive divided them up into categories for you

baby boys

tom

dean


older guys
vincent d'onofrio

mmm, detective goran

harrison ford


han solo or indiana jones, i wont say no

people i've 'met' online

sighmon

daniel boud


people i know in real life

brett


jb hi fi guy

ok, i dont really know him as such, but we talked and he was cute and sweet and even though i dont know his name it is so totally love and meant to be and stuff. except when i googled 'hot jb hifi guy' nothing came up. weird

i think thats enough for now. surely someone from that list would read my blog and come round

ben kweller write some pretty songs

thirteen

We've been in the rain
We've been on the mountain
We've been round the fire

In fancy hotels
Drank water from farm wells

We sang with the choir

I kissed your dry lips
We jumped off the high cliffs
And splashed down below

Skin to skin
In the salty river
Made love in the shadow
Woooah ooh

Read books to each other
Read the mind of the other
Flew one thousand jets

We laughed and we cried
At movies and real life
At our ridiculous bets

We danced in the moonlight at midnight
We pressed against back doors and wooden floors
And you never faked it

And infrequently
We ignored our love
But we could never mistake it
Oooh ooh

We met on the front porch
Fell in love on the phone
Without the physical wreck

You gave me the necklace
That used to hang
Around your mothers neck

We questioned religions
Fed bread to the pigeons
We learned how to pray

We stood by the ocean
Turned our hearts in to one
We laid in bed all day
Heeey

We skipped on the sidewalk
Skipped stones on the water
We skipped town

We've seen the sunrise with new eyes
We've seen the damage of gossip and true lies
We've seen the sun go down

Had passionate makeouts
And passionate freakouts
We built this world of our own

It was in the back of a taxi
When you told me you loved me
And that I wasn't alone.

until i die

I'm so sorry I'm so paranoid
It's something in my head
That I can't avoid
And I want to be with you
And always will
Until I die
Until I die
Until I die

I'm so sorry that I've been like this
You're the one thing in this world
I don't want to miss
And I want to be with you
And always will
Until I die
Until I die
Until I die

Frost on the window
I'm in for the night
You've got a phone
Keep me in mind
Just give me a try

I'm so sorry that I've been so sad
But you are the best friend that I've ever had
And I love you
And always will
Until I die

Frost on the window
I'm in for the night
You've got a phone
Give me a try
It's still on my mind

So sorry I'm so paranoid
I'm so sorry I'm so paranoid
I'm so sorry I'm so paranoid
I'm so sorry I'm so paranoid
And I want to be with you
And always will
Until I die

its been over a week since i texted him

and right now im going to bed early instead of waiting up, just in case

more ow

i have a bruise

• on my foot
• on the right side of my right knee
• on the left side of my right knee
• on my arm near my left shoulder
• below that, another one
• and another small one on the inside of my right arm

i had a good night saturday

getting things straight

carly says:
you wanna know what else is funny? i had a dream that i had sex with brett
carly says:
but im not gonna tell sandi that
MedusA says:
brett who?
MedusA says:
your brother?
carly says:
oh, brett in the photo
carly says:
thats his name
MedusA says:
good, because that's gross
carly says:
yes
carly says:
sex with your brother is never a good idea unless your brother is johnny depp
MedusA says:
HAHA

ow

ebay changed its colour scheme for christmas and it hurts my eyes

i miss you so fucking much

distraction

so i was sent a distraction. it was pretty. then i travelled the intermaweb and found something that i once thought pretty, and now? in the words of kirsty

FWOARH



but my heart will always belong to mark

i need a distraction

a message

i cant get in to see my doctor until the 20th of december

so those of you who insist on fucking with me, had better expect something psycho coming back at you

spammers, the whole lot of you!

i'll take you back to tuesday to start off with. i was looking after the boys for personwhosnameimustnevermention who had band practice*. it was halloween. there was a knock at my door and a voice called out, 'trick or treat!'. it was e, e potter. complete with cape, wand, glasses and a scar. x followed in a camo vest, knife belt and scooter helmet. i dont think anyone, including x, was quite sure what he was, but they were happy.
so we set off down the road, 'just like hermione' says e. im about to ask him why walking down the road with your mum, dressed as a wizard and an armycop, makes us anything at all like hermione granger when i look down and at his feet is banjo. seems the wizard got himself a trick or treating cat. banjo followed us to each house, occassionally making her way up to the porch with the boys.

first house, woman already standing at her front door, 'we dont do that'
second house, through the closed screen door, 'we dont do that here'
third house, tv sounds clearly heard, 'no ones home, mum'
fourth house, and excited young man of about 25 opens door 'wow, you two look great! let me see what i can find for you' he comes back with $2 each for the boys 'now you can get whatever you like. you guys look great!'

aaaah, things are looking up.

fifth house, calling from somewhere inside 'no, doesnt happen here!'
sixth house, calling from somewhere inside 'we dont do that stuff here!'
seventh house, calling from somewhere inside 'we dont do that!'

me: guys, i think its time to give up
e: why are people on our street so mean?
x: yeah, and rude!

so we went home and we watched the simpsons and ate our dinner and there was a knock on the door.
two 10 year old girls and a boy were standing there with bags of goodies. as i handed them some jelly beans i wished them good luck with my street as the boys hadnt gotten anything

girl dressed as a witch with black wings: your boys got nothing? nothing at all?
gdaawwbw: i have so much...i dont need all of this. your boys can have some of mine

and all three of the kids grabbed lollies out of their own bags and handed them over to the boys.

theres the halloween spirit!



that night there was much wriggling in my chair as dan had quite a lot of screen time on all saints. yay






a couple of weeks ago, as you may recall, sandi and i were approached at the cranka and asked if we were eligible. after he turned out to be gay, i commented on the request list

I seriously think you should set upsome sort of match making thing. There are people looking for someone special, they just need a kick start. Love Carly. PS AGAIN a guy I thought was hot was gay. SEE WHY WE NEED THIS!!?

and guess who makes it to the email list again? oh yes, that would be me. and the response?

Carly maybe on to something here. CRANK DATE - bringing the love lorn and the looking for love together through badly mixed pop music. But I¹m a bit worried about the tone of Carly¹s plea. She sounds a little...antsy. So let¹s be pro-active. THE LET¹S FIND CARLY A MAN CONTEST starts today. Got a friend who is hot and not gay? Are in fact you hot and not gay? Send a picture and details of your potential suitor for Carly to your humble DJ host and I¹ll pass them onto Carly discretely. Any other people loving for a CRANK ASSISTED LOVE MATCH, GET IN TOUCH.

im rather worried about going tonight. although im rather intrigued as well. im not actually looking for a boyfriend really, i was asking more for the blonde guy looking for 'a nice girl, not a blonde slutty skank' so it will be an interesting night
sandi thinks the problem would be solved with a sticker on the forehead. if you have a sticker, you're single and looking. she could be on to something there.

last night i had a dinner date with some wonderful wonderful girls. kirsty, chronicles, rebessac and snadi. we went to the seacliff and had lovely meal. after dinner, kirsty went home and the rest of us trip trapped upstairs for drinks and dancing. first of all, i must tell you that the seacliff does not play music i am accustomed to. for instance, i was serenaded (with actions) by my friends, as 'my hump' played. there was also a rousing rendition of 'hollaback girl'. it was amusing, to say the least. i am so glad i dont know the words. although i do remember reading them somewhere....aaah, here they are. jessculture, you never let me down**

then the lights came on and the dj packed up his stuff, and all of a sudden the police are there and they've grabbed a big fat man and they're wrestling him to the ground and a glass is thrown at a police man and then some bouncers run for the glass thrower and all of a sudden, my eyes are fuzzing up, and its harder to see and i realise people are coughing and i think, actually, yeah, i need to cough too, and people are running for the balcony doors and throwing them open. that, my friends, was capsicum spray, and it hurts like fuck. i cant imagine what it would be like to catch it straight in the face. no thankyou. im a good girl.

also, it has come to my attention that people attempting to leave comments are being met with the massage that they are spammers. im sorry. i know you're not spammers. i have written the comment people and we'll see what happens.

which brings us to now. im about to go get ready and search through my floor for appropriate clothing for tonight. who knows, i may meet my prince (although im still pining for my brave and fierce knight)

*stupid boys and their stupid band, but it inspired me to write some lyrics for the band. its a sea shanty!

carly, i am massively, massively sorry

i should have thought about how she would feel
when i started this band, it didnt seem a big deal
but now ive thought about it, yes she is right
and i'll stay up writing songs for the rest ofthe night
just to make it up to her

into every song i'll slip a small message
only she'll understand
that only she'll notice
and maybe, one day
i'll make it up to her

and perhaps in the long run its better this way
we'd never be able to get up there and play
cos the girlfriends of band members make her freak out
and want to punch people and yell scream and shout

and im sorry, im sorry i started this band
im sorry its come out just like we planned
except you're not involved
and you're not invited
and i clearly see how you'd be less than delighted

but maybe, one day, i'll make it up to her

**except for when you dont post for ages. that makes me a sad panda :(

palmer cash tees

words of wisdom

carly says:
well i dont know what his stupid problem is
carly says:
other than he's a fucktard
MedusA says:
but I don't want him to be a fuck tard
carly says:
unfortunately you'll find that most boys are
MedusA says:
godamnit

me me me!

ok, anyone out there struggling for something to get me this christmas? im sure there'd be a few of you. how about this then? or this one? or even this one?

many options there.