i should know by now

it doesnt seem to matter how many times i learn this lesson, i just musnt learn it well enough. why do i always fall for the ones i cant have?
over and over again, i'll meet someone, find out it could never work out, but my heart decides to try anyway. and i just end up getting hurt, time and time again, i dont understand. i should see the signs by now...i guess it helps when the signs are clear from the beginning, but i knew all along it could never work...why do i put myself through it, knowing what will happen in the end? is a little bit of nice worth all the hurt in the long run? i know i say yes at the time, but now when i lay there and remember...it hurts all the more because i cant have it again.

i tried. i really tried. everytime we said goodbye, i meant it. until i turned away and realised that goodbye meant i couldnt see you anymore.
you hugged me goodbye and all i wanted to do was hold on so tight you couldnt possibly go away again

but you did

and you're so far away now i cant see you or hear you, not for a long time.

when you do come back, i will be trying. i'll be trying so hard not to call you, not to message you, not to look like some sad lame stalker girl. i dont know how well i'll go though.

i miss you so much, it stupifies me. i really thought it was just a crush...then i thought i met you for a reason...then you went away and it feels like you've been gone forever and you're never coming back

that last bit is true in part. you're never coming back to me