i auditioned for a theatre production of little shop of horrors on thursday night. apparently i sang better than the people who said they were singers, so ner
this was my monologue

excerpts from been there licked that - or things i wish i had known at 25

nostalgia is that weird emotion which makes things seem 100 times more wonderful now than they actually were then.
at 25 we were so busy getting laid that we somehow mislaid the essential ingredients of romance, passion, adoration, devotion. and that it's loving emotion, not an all night performance with a well-read penis which makes sex sensational.
i wouldn't return to the genital dictatorship of those days for anything, hell, i'd rather remove my own iud with gardening shears.
but when i truthfully analyise my 25th year, my predominant wish is that i'd known that lycra hotpants give a whole new meaning to the expression 'read my lips'. coupled with a tie-dyed boob tube, it was a look which didn't quite come off, but gave the impression that it definatley would later. and probably for the whole band.

and the song i sang

labour of love, frente

am i fooling you?
do you fall for it all
or do you just see right through?
are you as cool as you believe?
are you playing hard?
are you waiting just to quietly clock my card?
are you waiting for a moment to leave?

i don't know how i bent what you said
to what i believe you meant
i don't know anything at all
i'm standing in the push and shove
and i'm just within the rescue
of the labour of your love
i can't do anything but fall
a-fall, a-fall-fall-fall
why do i feel like i can never find you?
why do i feel like i'm the only survivor?
why am i thinking of -
you and me and the labour of love?

one chance, one shot
that's all anybody ever got
newborn still warm
naked in the rush hour
dancing in my gutter
and if you want to find me
call me, i'll be far from
the cars and guitars and
everybody
why do i feel like i can never find you?
why do i feel like i'm the only survivor?
why am i thinking of -
you and me and the labour of love?

and i never knew before
but i feel like a child in a cold, cold war
so strong, so tough
sitting in suburbia, waiting for the wind up
and i don't want to dance
i just want to jump from the prison of circumstance
why am i thinking of -
you and me and the labour of love?
why do i feel like i can never find you?
why do i feel like i'm the only survivor?
why am i thinking of -
you and me and the labour of love?