if you're not pissed off at the world, then you're not paying attention - kasey chambers

fneh

i really wish that everything that was in my head would just work its way down my neck, to my shoulders and start pouring out of my fingers onto the keyboard and somehow end up in here in some semblance of order

yes, that is what i wish

YEAH!!!



merry christmas everyone. i hope you had a lovely day. mine was busy busy busy, and i got very full

and would you have a look at what matty got me. thankyou pinaroo!!! thankyou for not liking original milo bars so much that matt could get a whole box full for me for christmas. pinaroo, you rule.

a lot of people have been blogging lately about how crappy this year has been, and yeah, it has been. but i think i'd like to focus on any good things that might happen.

yep, a lot of things have ended this year, and in their place i am going to start some new things

start sticking up for myself
start doing better for myself as a person, not just a mum
stop eating so much crap...she says, munching on a milo bar, hey, its still 2003
learn to accept that as much as it has been drummed into me, i am not selfish
be braver
go for better roles in plays
do a live performance with humblebee

i hope your 2004 is all you hope it will be...just dont get your hopes up too high, ok?

love between species



look at his face, he's just got some....look at her face, all shy and coy...we know what she's been up to...

ok, i admit it

the main reason i bought detroit rock city was because i am still teenagerly in love with edward furlong. look at that pic...is he not shaggy and spunky and hot??? yes, yes he is

i fell in love in 1991 when i saw him in terminator 2. i didnt hear the whiney little boy voice then, all i saw was a beautiful beautiful boy who i knew would love me. i then saw what i at the time, voted as the best movie ever, pet semetary 2. and yes, i was even more in love.

after growing up a bit, and harbouring my secret crush, i let it out and admitted to watching terminator 2 on tv purely for the eddie involvement. i also thoroughly enjoyed pecker, which i watched first out of the three john waters movies sean and holly sent for us, because he was in it.

so theres really no surprise that i bought detroit rock city. it was only $12 as well, so that makes it even better.

and, its a really funny movie

yeah, im a still a teenager, rock!

i know i ask for a lot...

my car broke on saturday night :(

i really dont have much luck with cars. i had a beautiful 1970 morris 1300. it was tamarisk green....so cute. it started to break and started to cost lots to repair so we sold it. i was so sad. we bought me a 1990 hyundai excel. i've never liked it, maybe it knows that.

saturday night it overheated on the way to the city. we left it, went out for a bit, came back, put water in it and started driving home.

it overheated again.

then made some very VERY loud knocking noises that didnt sound great at all.

we called the RAA and the guy said there was no way in hell we'd be driving it home, especially all that way. we ended up getting towed.

we waited 2 hours for that, from 2:30 - 4:30 am. yes, we were tired. so much so that we wondered out loud about how we were glad it wasnt hot/raining/cold/snowing/flowing with lava/flooding/tornadoing etc.

the funniest comment of the night:

sharyn : that guy across the road has a big wet patch on his back
carly : maybe his mate was doing him and pulled out to cum on his back

favourite...well, one of

whenever it's on tv, i *have* to watch it, and i will laugh and laugh and laugh, no matter how many times i've seen it

parenthood

how much do i love this movie???

i used to love it because of keanu reeves and joaquin phoenix, but then i grew up, and now i love it because of how much i relate to it. my kids butt things with their heads, overreact to everything and cry, stick up for each other, are generally bizarre.

some things i love....

"You know, Mrs. Buchman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car -- hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

uh huh

Julie: I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!

Karen: He likes to butt things... with his head.
Nathan: How proud you must be.

Karen: Do you really have to go?
Gil: My whole life is "have to."

Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.

i should be in advertising

new slogan for a tv campaign advertising laxatives...

i thought i was just feeling shitty, till i realised i needed to do one

sean says:

i like hearing about your dreams... they're usually disturbing
in some fashion
and always interesting
much like you as a whole
why that's your very ethos, i'd say

disturbing in some fashion but always interesting

not my forte

well, i got my letter about forum today.

i'm in

i get to be the vaccuous one

Philia: Still a virginal girl, the beautiful and young, yet dumb, Philia none the less belongs to Lycus and is a courtesan-in-training, already contracted to be sold to Miles Gloriosus. She and Hero, however, are in love; and Hero has enlisted Pseudolus to get her for him. In the end the day is saved by the revelation that she is the sister of Miles Gloriosus who then nullifies his contract and allows her to go to Hero.



apparently i get a tad grumpy when im doing a production. well, all of you shitheads who think i get grumpy can just fuck off and make like a tree and leave.

mehehe

make like a tree and leave, i love back to the future

so yeah. i have to sing, *and* i get to kiss a gay boy. how many of you out there are jealous of me now??? all of you, thats how many. you all know how much you wann kiss a gay boy and i get to do it, ner to all of you, ner ner ner!

Congratulations! You're Pippin!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


wooohoo, i always liked pippin

a proper thankyou

over the last few weeks some pretty heavy stuff has been going down in my life.
it's stuff i should have dealt with a long time ago, but im only strong enough now.

in 1991 my mums boyfriend moved in. i don't remember a lot about him. he worked at a tyre place. he once drove me and my brothers around and around a round about for fun. i remember him filleting fish on our back porch. they are really the only normal memories i have of him.

i have more.

these aren't normal memories. these are memories that people shouldn't have to have. people should be able to look back at being 13 and think about having fun with their friends, hanging out looking at boys, writing in your diary and singing to your favourite songs. i did all that too, but there was always that other part, the secret part, that tainted everything, and still does now.

mums boyfriend molested me

although there was no *actual* sex, ie penis in vagina, there was enough of everything else.
when it was happening i never told anyone. i often thought, for some reason, about running up the road to the fire station, or perhaps to the ambulance, never once did i think about the police. i don't know why. maybe if i told the police then it was really happening to me.
i managed to get on with my life and do all the normal 13 year old things, and 14, and 15, until at 15 my boyfriend wanted to have sex with me.
it brought it all back up, and i had to tell him about it. he'd be the first person that i told.

once i told phillip, it was easier to tell other people. it opened the flood gates i suppose, and i told sharyn, my best friend, and my other close friends. everyone was really supportive, and we formed a small army that vowed to kill him if it was needed.

since then, i think i've told almost all of my boyfriends who i had sex with. everyone has reacted the same way. upset that it happened, but there for me, and that has been great. but i've never felt the powerful urge to go to the police as much as i have this last year.

after i had my boys, i started to freak out in public places, thinking that i had seen him. i'd only ever had this once before. i'd freeze and my legs would go weak and i would feel as if i would fall to the floor in a puddle.

i needed to be strong for them. i didn't want them to have to see that someone could hurt their mummy so much. they needed me to be brave, and fun.

so i called the police, i told them what he did to me. not what i did, or what happened, what he did to me, because that's what it was. none of this is mine, its all his, and i need to give the blame back to him and start to live my own life without this shit hanging around me. cos its not my shit. it's his shit. no matter how many prettily wrapped parcels he gave me, they were always full of black shit that i kept having to wear, to carry around on my 13 year old shoulders.

now i am giving it back

the police are looking for him, they're looking all over south australia, and they've been really great about it

i feel taller and cleaner already

so i wanted to say thankyou to everyone for being there for me and for encouraging me, and giving me strength. *someone* wrote a thankyou over there in my tagboard, but this one is the one really from me.

thankyou

new story idea

she eyed her target up and down one last time before approaching him.
'you wanna do it?'
he was taller than she was, darker too. olive skin to her vanilla and he smelled like dessert.
she took his hand and lead him to the back, to the smaller room where couples and triples writhed and kissed. she sat him down and nestled her way onto him.
it was over in less than 5 minutes and she remembered him as cake...

dear diary
had some cake. nice taste. may go back for seconds.

little miss organized

matt : you only have one tea bag left
carly : that'd never happen
matt : well, there only one left in the tin?
carly opens the cupboard
carly : 350 tea bags in storage....i'll never run out

more things for me

or you could buy them for yourself or someone you like.....sean has the list of ones i want...you can get them off him, or i can email them to you :P

btw, no one has emailed saying they want a cd. this is your last chance. well, today and tomorrow, cos im going to the post office on thursday