oh hai. my week? you want to know about my week? um, well, sure, but...do you really want to know? ok then. feel free to stop listening whenever you like

when i got the kids back from voldemorts on sunday night, the first thing i said when i saw x was 'he's sick'. no he's not, he's fine, is the response. actually no, he's sick. they're both sick. x has spots all over his face, his eyes are glassy and he has a temperature. he had called me the day before (at 6am, grrr kids) to tell me he had a rash on his tummy, i told him to show his dad. i call my mum, she says 'german measles'. x says 'its just puberty mum, its ok, i can handle it, it only lasts for a few years and it was bound to happen some time'. i say, no x, you are 9 years old.
then e crashes out on the couch, his whole body hot, his eyes are glassy, his throat hurts, i give him panadol, he vomits everywhere.

bed time

monday - kids still sick and spend the day on the couch watching dvds. by the end of the day they are worse and i decide to call the doctor and make an appointment for tuesday morning. they say bring them in now, its not busy. i call their dad to ask for help as i cant carry two boys. he says he having dinner (with his girlfriend) but will 'come later'. i get angry and hang up. stupid girlfriend. he calls later and asks where i am. im home, waiting for you. why arent you at the doctor? because you said you would come here and help me. no i didnt. fuck you. i hang up, take the kids to the doctor, make x walk as i cant carry him, we get put in an isolation room, and then go in to see the doctor.

they dont have german measles. i didnt think they would, they've been immunised, they have a virus which has turned into an infection, coming out as spots all over his face in x case, and e has a virus and strep throat. take them home, fluids, panadol, etc, usual sick kid things. dad knocks on the door and is automatically a hero for turning up with showbags, stupid girlfriend is in the waiting room with her stupid face on. i have to go to the chemist and buy medicines while he gets to be the good parent and give treats.

we go home

then i remember, im supposed to go on a date tomorrow. im supposed to be meeting this boy for coffee. i cant go. i message him and tell him im sorry, that im not ditching him, but i cant see him tomorrow and will have kids home all week, more than likely. his response is short. i figure hes a lost cause now

tuesday. damn kids get up at 6 am and run around the back yard with the bow and arrow set that came from the show. they dont show a single sign of being sick, apart from x spots which already look better after one dose of medicine. original coffee time ticks over and i have a cup of tea, by myself. its not the same.

i message him and say, based on the behaviour of my children, that coffee tomorrow would be good. he says yes, that would be good. its all set.

tomorrow comes. i take x to school, and take e to the dentist for the last little part of his teeth fixing. when we get there, some kid is screaming its head off so they suggest we go for a walk for ten minutes. we walk to the playground, maybe 30-40 metres away? we talk and he plays, i put my hand in my pocket to check the time, and my phone isnt there. my brand new phone. as in only got it last week brand new. my phone that i actually like and can use and holds actual songs and can picture message and isnt shit. we retrace our steps. 3 times. no phone. e goes into the dentist and we find out that he's actually having two teeth ripped out today, and wont be going back to school after this. date? what date?

we go home. i call my phone. its unavailable. of course it is, its currently being used as a swap to buy drugs in christie downs. i call miffy. she says she'll come over and look after e so i can go tell sam i cant make the date, because i cant call him or message him because his number is in my phone. then she decides that she'll do her uni work at my house with luke and watch e, and i can get a coffee. so its maybe going to be alright

so we talk, and we drink coffee, and we walk back to our cars, and its nice. and im seeing him again.

and i go home, and i call optus who say 'oh my god! you really did only get your brand new phone last week! i feel so bad for you! here, i've credited $120 to your account. that should cover a few of your bills so you can buy a new phone.'

wow

then i go to the optus shop for a new sim card which they give me instead of charging $39 for

again, wow

i go home, activate my new sim and find out that all my old numbers and messages are there and i have the same phone number.

sams messages that he sent wednesday morning come through, so i have his number again. we organise to see each other thursday night. except thursday night shows and he doesnt.

e cries and whimpers and talks and moans and wriggles and calls out from approximatley 10 until 4 in the morning. i go in there time and time again, whats wrong, whats the matter? i finally get out of him that he thinks he might be frightened. he doesnt know what he's frightened of tho. i ask him what is the best thing ever. fishing with dad? i suggest. bugs and dinosaurs? gardening, he says. think of gardening, i say. and think how you are brave and happy and the strongest loveliest sweetest boy in the whole world and i love you.

he ends up kicking me for the rest of the morning in my bed.

so now im back where i was two weeks ago. no sleep, sore back, broken phone, grring about boys. my life will never go forwards