sometimes i drink a cup of tea that is so familiar that i need to look around to see if she's there. and then i say hello, and i smile, because i know she's there. she cant be here all the time because of everyone else she needs to visit, but she visits me sometimes, and its usually while im drinking tea.

last night i got my first visit from someone new. laying in bed, kind of on my back, knees up a little and to the left. i feel a gentle pressure in the curve from my tummy to my thighs. and its so real that i patted and stroked the air for a minute or so. then i called kailey and she jumped up and snuggled on my other side, laying on her back with her head on my arm, and i got to cuddle with both my puppies