update

found the carrot - on the other side of the yard

broke up with adam

ate a block of chocolate

am on the third level of beatles rock band

not even kidding

just went out the back to nibble on the carrot e left for the reindeer, and its gone

seriously

and when i came back to my computer after the kids had been on it earlier, e had googled 'is e on the nice list?' fucking love that kid. shame i cant take photos of him, or the other lovely wide awake fellow, since my camera doesnt work :(

now i have to go make a cup of tea for father christmas to drink. people who do a tough job like delivering presents to every single house in the world deserve a cup of tea, apparently. and apparently he does it street by street with some sort of rocket launcher, not alphabetically, as this wouldnt be very good time management. he also employs some parents to to the gift delivering for him, by calling them on the phone to ask them

not everyone gets presents tho. stupid cats are on the naughty list this year for all the starlings and pigeons they've eaten, and for the fact that i'll no doubt have to take banjo to emergency some time over the next couple of days due to the fact that she has one eye closed and some sort of puncture wound in her leg, and squeaky meows when i pick her up. naughty list, indeed!

well, thats it then, i guess

i am not impressed by your news that you caught a goat and are now cooking it

although, i could catch a monkey - if i was starving i could. different frogs, different days.

lies

e asked me what honesty meant. i said 'not telling lies'.
'im not honesty then'
'why not? did you tell a lie?'
nods
'what did you say?'
'i told everyone i was the penguin from happy feet'

things my child did to annoy me in a 10 minute period

forgot how to make a cup of tea : this involved not boiling the water, filling the cup full of milk, realising what he'd done and attempting to tip the milk back into the carton, giving up and getting another cup in which he poured boiling water into without first adding the tea bag, then using milk from the carton rather than the milk he'd previously used to fill the other cup.

then spilled it as he walked into the lounge

then spilled it again as he put it on the coffee table

then spilled it again as he was mopping up the other spills.