its very cold, very rainy, very windy

and i miss him

he would come home from work, hands freezing from an hour on his scooter. wearing a black coat, my scarf, probably my socks

freezing

we would make a cuffatea, and start to chop potatoes for dinner

resting my head against his shoulder was a good feeling

i am awesome

post secret

put on your dancing shoes



clockwise from sneaker

kate
ellyn
porscha
georgia
me

quoting from miffy...


i want a boy who...

is smart
is funny
is good looking
is a good kisser
likes my kind of music
is like me but different
likes me.. hehe
has glasses
has nice hair of the darker colour
has good taste in clothes
drives
is smart
slightly nerdy
not toooo nerdy
can make things
is creative
likes art, photography and music lots
owns some form of gaming console
will let me play on said gaming console
is fun

happy mothers day

And she closed her eyes and said
No I'm not in love
I'm not in much
For real
And the hood fell off her head
And her face got wet
I held my part
Of the deal
I've been growing older he thought
And he smiled and said
You've got the saddest face
I've seen
And when she didn't seem to listen at all
He said I'm getting wet
You held your part
Of the deal

dilly dallying, procrastinating, lollygagging, putting it off and putting it off....

there are two things in front of me that are wanting/needing to be done. one has a reward at the end, one just has tears. both require work by me.

the first one is a free mars bar wrapper that i have in front of me. i want this mars bar. well, i want chocolate. but it requires me to go out of my house and to a shop to get it. getting out of my house requires me to get dressed. unless i go to the servo, which is a place where it seems you can wear your pyjamas and it doesnt matter.

the second one...i need to answer an email. i need to put into it all that i have. it will end in tears, mine, but i need to try one more time.

instead

i will share with you a lovely poem/song that sharyn and i wrote.....well, years ago. its in a book that my mum found, with lyrics to other songs, and judging by those songs i would say we were about 14 or 15.

amongst the lyrics to pink floyd, the lemonheads, nirvana, ugly kid joe, blind melon, pearl jam, the cure, smashing pumpkins, and also some lyrics from ren and stimpy songs, there is this shining pearl, this gem of a song. and ben? feel free to use these lyrics and turn them into something...just a little more special

i can see

standing on a roof
i can see the ground,
some trees, birds
and kids playing footy

on the roof
in the shed
on a swing
in bed

in the shed i can see
a lawn mower,
a hammer, a saw
and a spanner

on the roof
in the shed
on a swing
in bed

on a swing
i can see
the sky and the ground
the sky and the ground

on the roof
in the shed
on a swing
in bed

in bed i cant see anything
my eyes are closed
but i dream
of rainbows and unicorns

HAS ANYONE EVER DREAMED OF RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS???

no, no i didnt think so

now i will make a cup of tea and put off writing that email for a little while longer

check it out

this sunday, happy mothers day, me!

who's coming with me?

copied straight from a spazmail

so guess what just happened at my house. my cats wear bells around their necks, and i could tell from the tinkling that there wasnt normal cat behaviour going on so i went to investigate. (because i am clearly some sort of brilliant detective)
a picture that i had leaning against the wall had fallen over, and clancy was near it. i figured that must have been the problem, but she was just sitting there, looking at the wall. hmm. thats odd. i pick up the picture and look under the table for dead/dying rats as is sometimes the case when i have a cat who wont move under the kitchen table, but no, no rats.
i put the kettle on, turn back around and realise shes not looking at the wall, she's quite intent on the guitar case i have there. so i wander over there, all casual like, and gently move the guitar case away from the wall a little. and lo and behold, theres a nice big rat hiding behind it. lovely. so away it scampers, past clancy, behind the curtains and picture, into the laundry, and i see it flatten itself to virtually nothing and squeeze under the back door.
not only did i have a rat in my house, it also knew the way out.

clancy is stupid and is still looking at the guitar case

i dont particularly want a rat in my kitchen


and you know what? my kitchen is actually clean. it must be the rain that has forced the poor fat ratty into my house. i cant think of any other reason.

thanks to defamer for bringing this back to my attention

another dream

i am looking at my old lounge, in my old house. there is a spider web next to me and i think that i should do something about it, but there is something i need to do first. whatever that is, i go and do it and when i come back the couch is covered with a huge thick spider web and 5 or 6 large (size of my hand), fleshy red/light brown spiders.

i dont like them, and i spray them with tonnes of fly spray and they die.

i've looked up a dream interpretation site, and this is what ive found, coupled with the snake dream from the other night

To see a spider in your dream, indicates that you are feeling like an outsider in some situation. Or that you may want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. The spider is also symbolic of feminine power. Alternatively, a spider may refer to a powerful force protecting you against your self-destructive behavior. If you kill a spider, it symbolizes misfortune and general bad luck.
To see a spider spinning a web in your dream, signifies that you will be rewarded for your hard work. You will soon find yourself promoted in your job or recognized for your achievement in a difficult task. Spiders are a symbol of creativity due to the intricate webs they spin. On a negative note, spiders may indicate a feeling of being entangled or trapped in a sticky or clingy relationship. It represents some ensnaring and controlling force. You may feel that someone or some situation is sucking the life right out of you.

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. The snake may also be seen as phallic and thus symbolize dangerous and forbidden sexuality. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted. As a positive symbol, snakes represent transformation, knowledge and wisdom. It is indicative of self-renewal and positive changes.

To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within.
To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed.
To see your son in your dream, signifies your ideal, hopes, potential, and the youthful part of yourself. On the other hand, to see your son in your dream might not have any significance and is simply mirroring your waking life.

To dream that you are calling or signaling for help, suggests that you are feeling lost, overwhelmed, and/or inadequate.