Thursday, August 31, 2006

hold the phones

i watch australian idol. shut up, so do you. i dont watch it for the talent, i watch it for the laughs, and the comforting fact that i know its not just me yelling at my tv, hundreds of thousands of people are screaming at the same time.
i dont think its a place to nuture talent. i dont think its a place to find the 'next big thing' because you will only come out of it 'the next big theing they want you to be. and its not very often i'll stick up for someone on idol either. but i dont think its necessary for the 'judges' to say quite such nasty things about the contestants.

for instance

rebecca pearce

i am not an animal!

im paraphrasing, but holden said something about her being beautiful so he expected to hear a hummingbird but instead heard a budgie.
you can watch some video here

yeah, she wasnt great, and i certainly wont be voting for her (because i dont vote for anyone and then i complain when the one i like doesnt get in, just like the rest of australia) but just because you're pretty, doesnt mean you can sing.and just because you're ugly, doesnt mean you cant
aaahahahahaha, see what i did there! i am hilarious

i, for instance, believe that tim rogers is just about sex on legs and would i marry him and have his babies? why yes i would.

here he is with his ex wife roccia

and here he is sporting a ridiculous beard

i happen to believe he is pretty bloody spunky and one of the best australian singers of our time if not forever and ever australia, the world, the universe, infinity

aaw, look at him. isnt he cute! wouldnt hurt a fly, he wouldnt

anyway, me and tim rogers, not the point of this post although it would be nice if it was. the point is, i would prefer to watch the australian idol contestants do their thing, whether it be their own song, accompanied by themselves on guitar, or singing with kermie and his band, and then at the end they do a big choreographed dance number just like young talent time.

and then they call marcia hines babygirlfriendsisteryougogirl until her brain starts bleeding out of her ears and then they use her corpse to smash mark holden to a bloody mess. sandilands can just stare blankly with his pointy face until somebody stabs him, i dont really care who. and then they can do another song and dance, celebrating their kill while it roasts slowly over an open fire.

its really not that hard, people

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