Ate the muffins
Drank the Kilkenny cream
Chewed off all my nails
...I think that's pretty much all I did

Please show some respect for your neighbours and control your dog.We were woken up at 6 am this morning (again) by the constant barking. If its not 6-630am its 10-11pm or 7am on the weekend!?!You’re surrounded by families, babies, elderly, terminally ill, mothers, students, kids etc all being woken at ungodly hours by you.My dog know that barking gets a slap on the nose which is why it doesn’t happen, you can also get shock collars which soon breaks the habit. Simply locking it out to bark the neighbourhood down is not acceptable especially at the times you do it.It is your responsibility to control. Please consider the quality of life for your neighbours as they would yours.Thank you,On behalf of everybody

well then

we typed up a letter and delivered it to every letterbox in the street

Dear Everybody, While we appreciate your concern in regards to the constant early morning barking of dogs, we believe you are mistaken in assuming it is solely the fault of (my address was here, im not that sharey that i'll give it to you ;) ). I actually got home at 6am this morning (Sunday) and our dogs were both fast asleep, not disrespecting anybody in the neighbourhood.We know we are surrounded by families, as we see them every day. We are one ourselves. Our family includes primary school students, a uni student, and people with mental and physical disabilities. When our dogs do bark, as all dogs occasionally do, they are told off by all members of the household. There has not been a case yet where they have had to be slapped to stop them barking, and we would never resort to putting a shock collar on our dogs as firstly, they are not ‘problem barkers’ and secondly, they are loved members of our family. They spend the majority of their time in the house with us. It is only when we are out of the house or asleep that we lock them outside. If you would like to discuss this further, please feel free to knock on our door and introduce yourself. We have tea and coffee and sometimes even homemade muffins. With kind regards, Carly and Nick
 PS: as this is being typed there are 2 dogs asleep on the floor next to me and a rather loud dog barking somewhere in the distance.

this letter took a few drafts. there were some things that just didnt make the cut

*thanks so much for your letter!!!
*my dogs look up at me, as if to say, 'who is that dog barking? its not us!' 
* come and say that to our face, jerkbags!
*go eat a dick
*go eat a bag of dicks
*you are some sort of jerk, right?

that night, a man from up the street came to our door with a bottle of champagne, congratulating us for our letter, welcoming us to the street, and telling us he hadnt heard kailey or russell bark, and was more annoyed by the kids next door crying constantly. FREE ALCOHOL FTW!

since then we've spoken to two families and had a note from one, saying they had no problem with our dogs, and that basically, we rule

except, now the dogs are barking.... i guess they feel they may as well get a few barks in since they're being blamed for it anyway

i received a letter

the basic gist of it was 'slap/electrocute your dog'

would you like to read it? and my response?