tonight!



last night!


(video from last year, but you get the picture)

friday night

sometimes people make decisions that you know are completely wrong. most of the time theres nothing that you can do about it. and sometimes you're the one making the decision

sometimes you have to let the person make the mistake, even though its killing you to watch it happen. and sometimes you know that you have to make the mistake, to learn from it, and try not to do it again

history repeats. the 90s are in fashion again, which im happy about. smudge are playing in adelaide in a few weeks. im going to buy a pair of lace up boots tomorrow, and hopefully a cute floral dress to wear with tights. if only id kept all my clothes. if only id kept the same sized body.

"12/3/1996 i asked him why and he said he doesnt have the time. he wants to surf and hang out with his friends. he's not ready to grow up yet or have a serious relationship. (i told him i already knew that). he's been thinking about it for a while. i know he has. he said 'all i can say is im sorry' "

"Play Dead"

darling stop confusing me
with your wishful thinking
hopeful embraces
don't you understand?
i have to go through this
i belong to here where
no-one cares and no-one loves
no light no air to live in
a place called hate
the city of fear

i play dead
it stops the hurting
i play dead
and hurting stops

it's sometimes just like sleeping
curling up inside my private tortures
i nestle into pain
hug suffering
caress every ache

i play dead
it stops the hurting

"6/8/2010 i would love to chat again, we have heaps to catch up on"

what i want to say today to someone, but i wont, as its none of my business:

you are a fucking idiot

yes simba, its the circle of life, and it moves us all. what ive been wanting to talk about for a long time, and havent, i will be talking about tonight. im unsure how much detail i'll go into... i guess we'll see when it happens

i think my band has finished. or at least has been paused. i only have one definite member left, three maybes, and 2 definitely nots. so now im wondering what i do. do i just stop altogether? do i enlist new band members and continue? do i enlist new band members and start again?

right now, im pressing the pause button and hoping the tape doesnt break

blogging should return to normal* shortly

*and by normal, yes, i mean actual writing