I’ve been waiting for a moment like that for a long time

Me too. And I got it on Saturday night. Since everyone else is lame*, I went to crank at the crown and anchor by myself on Saturday night. I knew craig and ross would be there anyway, so I wouldn’t be all alone, but I still felt like a bit of a loser going in there by myself. I shouldn’t have though, because I was wearing my new amazing dress which has magical powers.

I got there about midnight after hanging at matts for a little while, coming home and watching you am I on studio 22. I love you am i. they really are brilliant. Anyway, there weren’t many people there at 12, so it was easy to find ross and his friend who I’ve forgotten his name…tim? Maybe? Maybe I just think it was tim because he looked a little like the gnome tim that Adrian and I both know….oh well, I met tim, ross’ girlfriend kiarra and their friend Olivia. There was another girl there who I’ve forgotten her name as well. Bad carly. She had a girly, old fashioned name. hmm.

So we danced. Ross and kiarra fought, again. Poor ross. His sad little face. He really loves her, you can see that. Its unfortunate that they fight because you can see that she loves him too. Maybe she just needs to realise that he *does* love her, and relax and enjoy it. Maybe I should shut up because I’ve met them twice and don’t really even know them. Whatever.

There was some really good music. Ratcat, the cure, 99 luft balloons and two other bands which I seem to have forgotten, all in the same block of songs. It was so good. I felt old and young at the same time.
Strangely enough, doorbell by the white stripes was played and no one in my group of people knew it. I felt all kinds of special and knowlegable. I would have thought they’d know that song. Perhaps they spend too much time listening to Interpol** :P

Craig got there a little later and we all hung out and danced for a couple of hours.
It was then that dj ian started playing crap. Stupid current pop crap; gwen stafani and that milkshake song, ugh. He mashed two songs together first, which was annoying, but passable, then he just started on with the crap so we went out the front for a little while.
It was about 2am by this stage. I had an invitation to sleep at daniels ***which I was considering taking up cos I was kinda sleepy by this stage and it was cold out there. Also, some cuddles would have been really nice…

But then we were saved by some more dancey good tunes, and upon heading back into the disco arena**** we say ian was handing out show bags. Show bags! Yay! Lolly pops and hair ties and bangles and a cd and Charlie and the chocolate factory posters and yay!
Very exciting.

So, we’re wandering back to the table where we were before and this girl looks at me and whispers something to a boy. I kind of stare and frown a little, as I am want to do on occasion, and keep walking.
Then I hear the girl say ‘her! Her!’ and this is when I stop, turn around and stare at them both and say ‘hi….what?’
The girl, (who is very cute, by the way, all pixie hair and a school uniform. Very cute), puts her arm around the boy and says ‘this is tom. He’s looking for love in all the wrong places so I’m helping him….and he’s german’
‘no im not, im french’, says the boy
‘he’s French! Even better. Look at those cheekbones!’ says the girl
and as the two of us look over the boy who we now all know as tom, we both agree that yes, he is very cute. He has lovely brown eyes, very cute hair, and yes, rather nice cheekbones.
‘he’s all young though, isn’t he?’ I ask, ‘how old are you?’
‘he’s 22*****’ she says
tom just smiles

so we dance. And its really cute. And I gave him a lolly pop and somehow it got stuck on a passing man and that was just hilarious and we dance some more (rock and roll dancing, I’m told), and out of the corner of my eye I see the cute pixie girl coming over with another girl who seems younger than me, so I stepped away, back with ross and everyone else. Then I feel arms around my waist and I turn around to see a nice French boy, whispering in my ear that the cute girls first choice was much better.
And we kiss
And its really nice
And we kiss again
And this repeats for about the next couple of hours

I honestly cannot remember a time when I kissed non stop for that long since I was 15, and laying on my bad in the dark with phillip reid listening to tubular bells.

Its amazing what a good kiss can do for you. A really good kiss, you know. Like, hands on your face, cradling it while you kiss slowly, working up to a deeper, more intense kiss that makes you press against the other person, makes you forget everyone else in the room. I encourage all of you to go out and get a few of them right now. Go. Now. What are you waiting for?

The cranker was closing and we were asked to move along. The bouncerette said ‘I hate to ruin the moment guys but we are closing’ hehehe. I laughed.

While we were outside we took part in a discussion about whether or not guys could hold hands without people thinking they were gay. To prove a point, a girl, amy, and I were asked to hold hands. Did we look gay? No. we were asked to kiss. Did we look gay? No. tom and his Indian friend whos name im not even going to attempt to spell, held hands. Did they look gay? Amy and I said no, but Indian guy said ‘yes! Yes we look gay! They’re all faggots in India!’ he also looked at girls and asked them if he was going to get sex tonight. Oh yeah, he is so gonna get lucky with the chicks. Maybe with the guys…

And I went to shotz! Ive never been to shotz and it was as gross and dingy as I thought it would be so I wasn’t disappointed. The floor was sticker than the termi, but as it was tiled it didn’t have the squishy factor that the termi does that definitely adds to its charm.
We kissed there too, and when we stopped, he pulled away slowly, looked me in the eye and said 'ive been waiting for a moment like that for a long time...thankyou'

So I got home at 6:30 am after a night of kissing, kissing and more kissing. And a lovely French boy told me (in French) that he had a lovely evening, and accents never really did it for me before but that really did

*had other plans that did not involve me
**which was played using *my* mind power, thankyou very much
***I get a message the next day saying that maybe I’ve missed my chance. Feh, do you really think I thought I had a chance to begin with? You never kissed me before, why should I think you’d do it now?
****it really isn’t called this, but I think it should be
*****he’s actually only 20. do I feel old and like some creepy old cradle snatching woman? Yes, yes I do. But only when I thought about it. Most of the time I was kissing and thinking about how nice it was

well, i had an interesting night

and i'll tell you all about it when i get the time*. right now, however, i am sitting in the toy library at work so i cant go into too much detail.
i have no phone line at home, so that means no internet. after 2 nights in a row of being on hold for half an hour, it has been decided that my phone will be working by 7pm tuesday.

yeah, we'll see.

so in the meantime you'll have to make do with this boring lame postm and come back for more when its ready.

*so ross, you'll just have to wait ;)

*sigh*

i'll be getting picked up in an hour and driven to the airport for my flight home to lovely lovely adelaide.
i've been walking around the fair city of melbourne for a few days now, mostly by myself too, and i've come to feel quite at home. i still dont think i could live anywhere but adelaide, but i found my way around without to much hassle and i didnt get freaked out by the amount of people around, so its all looking good.
i havent been to ikea this time, despite staying 5 minutes down the road from it, but i have been to many nice places, had many a good coffee and a couple of lovely breakfasts.

i'm on my way back to theresa's now, to pack up my stuff and wait for adrian

i'll be home in 4 hours.

leave the light on for me?

he's just not that into you

i have been having such a wonderfully fantastic time. i havent laughed as much as i did on saturday night ina very long time.
theresa invited adrian and i to a housewarming party in kew. i cant remeber the guys name...dave? maybe? but he was a a chef and he made the most amazing tuna salad thing that was so incredibly tasty. go boys who can cook!
we went back to theresas house and had some vodka slammers. at this stage i had already had 2 vodka...somethings...black label somethings...i dont know, but these slamming things were hardcore. its about an inch of vodka, a dash of lemonade, you swirl the glass around a few times and then bang it on the table. then you have to drink it down fast but its easy because the bubbles make it taste just like lemonade, and the bubbles also make you insanely drunk in about 2 seconds.
we wandered down to the terminus (bottom left) .
there is a photo of hannah, theresa and i after out tequila body shots that i will post when i get home. yep. body shots. yep tequila. but carly, you say, dont you end up crawling on the floor after tequila? yes, yes i do. and did you? yes, yes i did.
i also was so drunk that when i looked down and saw mica's hand down my shirt, i just shrugged and went on with the conversation.
i ended up sleeping in theresas bed with theresa, adrian and brian. it was hot, sweaty and tight but we were all asleep so nothing could be enjoyed except for my snoring.
we slept a lot of sunday, and then went out for breakfast/brunch/lunch at idibidis where poor hannah had to work. i had a yummy yummy breakfast, and then bought a dress, which, as i was buying it, i proclaimed would 'get me some'

i am yet to 'get some'

some of you, one of you in particular, may think, 'hang on a sec, you got some. in fact, i was *there* when you got some' but when someone is just not that into you, it kinda doesnt count, no matter how nice it was.

when i posted sunday i barely had the energy to lift my arms to the keys. in fact, i had one arm resting on the mouse and the other was one finger typing.
so
insanely
tired

its all good though. hanz invited theresa and i over for stirfry last night and it was very yummy. we had an earlyish night despite talking till one, and now today i am about to embark on an expedition of my own.

i am yet to meet up woth clem, or sherriff or ms fitts or any of those lovely people, despite the emails we're writing. it'll happen, maybe.

she said 'hey boy are you just in love with the idea of me?'

it was also suggested that perhaps i wasnt in love with a certain someone. perhaps i was in love with the idea of him. whatever it is, i am still not over him. that is blatantly obvious. and no amount of alcohol, pashing or sex with other people is going to change that.

incapable of posting

that pretty much sums it right up

sunny melbourne

here i am, posting from sunny melbourne. at least i will be when i get home and download all the pictures from my camera.
so far i have taken photos of the two guys i sat with on the plane (the matthew barker band), adrian, me in adrians room, our mega breakfast, a cripple pigeon, closely followed by a cripple lady with red pants, a cool home made cubby house playground and me and adrian blogging.

i got in at about quarter to ten last night and so far i've had a really nice time. i'll be catching up with theresa later on tonight. i informed her of my plans; to shop, kiss boys and get drunk, and she informed me that she can tick all those boxes. so yay me! sherriff is readying his lap for me but i have a sneaking suspicion that i wont get to visit it. i dunno, just a feeling.

adrians bed is really comfortable but the sunlight is really bright. it seems to be a bit of a pattern around here. every place where i crash on the bed/floor in melbourne has a sky light right above where i sleep. i did manage to sleep in until about 10 this morning hough which was nice for a change.

the guys who i met on the plane teased me about visiting libraries while i was here. asked me if it was my job to visit libraries in other states. i jokingly said that it was but here i am, in a library, typing away on the computer. im such a blogging nerd.

speaking of blogging nerds, hi vicki!! *waves* how are my kitties? behaving i hope. i know i have already said it, but again, i apologise for the state of my house. really tho, you know how messy i am so there is no excuse if you were expecting it to be clean.

adrians room is probably on par with mine in the messiness stakes, although mine is just more spread out since you could probably fit 2 and a bit of his bedroom inside mine. his place is really nice though.

im having a little bit of trouble thinking of things to write, but i dont want to give up my free internet time. oh free internet, how i love thee. i love the internetness and the freeness of you. will you marry me?

i just saw a little lost boy who was standing by the desk, calling out in a small voice 'mum, i cant find you. mum, where are you?' she answered him, but he still couldnt find her
'mum! come towards me. mum, i cant see you, please come towards me'
it was very cute and sweet, and then when i actually saw hin close up, we discovered that he was just a taller, slightly older version of eli. same hair, same style of clothes, same lovely little face. i miss my babies.

ok, well, we're off to enjoy he sunshine. im not not sure what we're gonna do but im sure it'll be fun. i'll update you on my three goals as soon as i can *wink*


*please visit adrians blog for updates on what i am good at*

melbournemelbournenmelbourne

im going to melbourne tomorrow, did i tell you that already? oh, sorry :P

im a bit worried that my ride from scary melbourne airport in the dark has disappeared. i think its been about a week now since i spoke to him. last i heard he was heading off to a party with tim rogers and we all know that tim is known to say 'boy, i'm gonna fuck you like you wouldnt believe'*

here are some things for you to read and think about while i am gone. please miss me, you know you will

matt writes about the new jesus ads:

Get lost. Christians like nerds should have no confidence and should hide away with their little groups and not try to force it upon us. Just like the nerds have their Dungeons and Dragons games. You dont see nerds making ads saying 'i dont really dig dungeons and dragons but the orcs do make some good points'

i totally agree. that mum shits me so much, she says something along the lines of 'when i stopped to think about it, all those things i believe in are what jesus teaches us'. and i think to myself, good for you, good for jesus, you both agree on some things. but just because you both agree on some things, does not mean you have to turn into a preaching christian television ad.

you are not cool. king missile was wrong

lucy rules. she's rad. her comic blog is rad too. she's only 8 years old and she's amazing, i mean look at this picture entitled "Humpty dumpty sat on the wall, Jemima killed him before he had a great big fall"

and lastly a quote from the last book i read, lemony snickets, the slippery slope

"Taking one's chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."

*in dreams

did you know?

this weekend i am zipping off to sunny melbourne. i'll be landing on friday night and hopefully i'll be spending the majority of the weekend pashing.
that is pretty much my plan for the entire weekend. pashing, shopping and drinking. who knows what order those things will occur, as long as they do, i'll be happy.

while i am out of my favourite state, vicki will be living in the paisley palace, caring for the psycho kitties. you know they're psycho, right? they're psycho. all three of us have scratches on our faces from them. on our faces. x and i have matching upper lip scratches, and im pretty sure they're both from banjo. we were both asleep at the time of the attacks, so we're unsure.

anyway, melbourne!

here are my key wishes for my trip

*pashing
*shopping
*drinking

now, lets delve into the first one, pashing. i'd really like to pash someone famous. i was watching a bit of last man standing last night in between flicking back and forth to rove so i could see johnny depp (siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh swooooooooooooooooon), coincidentally writen by this sexy lady. and i was looking in the background at all the hot people. im going where these hot people are, you know. and i think id like to pash a few of them. and im thinking that since i'll be like a whirlwind, being thought of a slutty whore isnt that bad. pashing people for the weekend will not make me smutslut, it will just make me a better kisser what with all that practice.

yep, go me

shopping - i will of course be spending a great deal of time on bridge road while the lovely theresa works. i might buy something from her shop, but there isnt much on sale there. instead i will try and buy things i actually need....bwwaaaahahahahahaha, im so funny. i have been instructed to buy something for sharyn, and maybe if i buy something for vicki, this time i wont lose it. also, sexyclem's credit card groaned at the mention of shopping, but i know that it secretly loves the feeling of rushing through the eftpos slot and transferring its magnetically encrypted goodness through the electronic realm, not unlike mike tv.

drinking - that one pretty much speaks for itself, dont you think?

so if im quiet for the next few days, you'll all know why. but, i have a shiny new memory card for my camera and i will return with many a photo to show you all.

have a good week

the secret house

this is the secret house
its where x and his friends, all boys, go to discuss important secret business. like keeping the water in the river murray

that is honestly what he just said to me

oh yeah

transmission

on friday night i had planned to go dancing and get drunk. so when friday night came along and the people i was going to dance and get drunk with decided to go bowling instead i was a lil bit shitty.
so i had some tea, and then i messaged them and said 'lets get pancakes and go dancing'. so we did

i had yummy apple pancakes. oh! but parking first. while driving around looking for a carpark, we came up with the name of our band. 'parking is fun'. kirsty drove down a one way street where the only way out was through a pay carpark. instead of just driving the wrong way back down the street, she drove through the carpark, confused the man in the box, and then drove back around again until we found a suitable reverse parallel parking spot. parking is fun.

watching kirsty reverse parallel park is fun

when any of us get some talent and songs or album will be called 'selfish with paint' and it shall rule.

so we went and got pancakes and there was an interesting american accent that we wanted to look at but vicki said it wasnt as good as it sounded, so we sang tainted love instead and tried not to laugh too loudly while listening to the boys at the next table.

boy: so, how about your relationship with god. directly i mean, not through the church

we wandered down to the duke of york, all the while poking vicki until she cheered up. it didnt work. so we just kept poking her. i saw josh and roasty and found out that simon is coming back soon, and josh made me promise to call him, so i will.

i will call you joshy, soon

transmission was fun, i'll go there again. i saw dj craig and revealed myself as the anonymous commenter on hs livejournal. i was also introduced to modest mod and found that he wasnt so nasty after all. poor dear looked as tho he was fighting with his girlfriend which didnt look at all like fun. i hope everything sorts itself out.
we made talky with a group of underaged boys who were quite taken with our vibrator talk. i think we taught them a thing or two. the little blonde one even followed us home. cute. he'll grow up to be a nice boy, im sure.
since i have the boys whenever gosh! is on it'll be good to have a place to go on saturday nights. not that i could go to gosh! next saturday night anyway, because i will be in melbourne, yay!

theresa and adrian and hannah and clem and yay, i cant wait.

im sorry about the last post, i wasnt in the best of moods, im still not i guess, but i'm trying. work was good. they let me stay in returns and then do the holds list so i didnt have to fake my cheery at anyone. i seem to have frightened off james who is tending to favour the woodcroft library now. great. am i really that bad?

ok, i have to go, im freezing and im working tomorrow.

i hope the sun is shining, wherever you are

i couldnt decide on just one title for this post, so you, you lucky reader, get two

its more than a little pathetic and i'm sure i'll live to regret it the lucksmiths

and i've written pages upon pages, trying to rid you from my thoughts the decemberists

im not a bad person. its taken me a long time to believe that when i say it, but im not. i think thats why its hits me so hard when people make me feel like i am.
i have a really hard time understanding and respecting the fact that people dont want to talk to me. its not that i think i am so wonderful, i just think that nothing that i have done could be so bad that i am banned from someone, and isnt life too short to be worried about things like that?
and i think thats why i am still at least on speaking terms with the majority of ex boyfriends/girlfriends. we had something, and for one reason or another it ended, but that doesnt mean its the end of the world, the friendship or in any way negates all the times that we had before the end.
just because the relationship has ended that doesnt automatically erase everything that happened between the two of you. sometimes i think it would be great if that did happen, but there arent a lot of instances that i want to forget.
maybe that comes from the fact that i dont have an awful lot of memories from before a certain age, maybe i try and hold tight to everything that happened afterwards to make up for it. i dont know.
one thing that would be nice right now would be the ability to listen to whatever song i wanted without the inevitable tears or blank stares that last for hours as some part of me disappears to wherever it is it has to go. perhaps i need to go for a while. maybe denying the listening and the disappearing is making it worse.
and do you know what is the stupidist part? the thing that im pining for, the thing that im missing and crying over, it wasnt even mine to begin with and it never could be. that was clear from the start. but i suppose there is some ever sparkling pollyanna inside of me that will keep on thinking that everything will turn out fine in the end. i hate pollyanna right now.
last night the thing i wanted to do most was go out, get drunk and kiss people until it didnt hurt anymore.
instead i stayed home, watched a dvd, made necklaces, ate cheese and managed to stop drinking before i got drunk. part of me wishes that i had kept on drinking. that now i would have a headache to think about instead of 'conversations' that were 'had' last night.
he is right though. he has tried every way possible. he's been nice, he's been rude, he's ignored me. but its that fucking pollyanna that cant see how it couldnt end up happy, that keeps a speck of hope shining up there. maybe he'll realise that im not so bad. maybe he'll call me one day to see how im going. maybe i'll be allowed to see him one day without either of us feeling bad, without either of us thinking the 'wrong' thing to do. because in the end thats what i want.
yeah, i want his lips on mine again, his hands on my skin, the feel of him against me. but more than anything i want to hear the friendship in his voice as he asks me about my day. i want to see his name on my phone when i get a message. i want to see him playing with my kids again and not have to lie to them when they ask about him. i dont want to wipe away tears when they ask me if he's coming over to play again.
is it unreasonable to want to be friends with people? perhaps it is in some situations.

why is it so hard to let go?
when you left, you took all my favourite songs with you

and, as adrian says*...

what can i do tonight? i feel like going out and finding someone to kiss but anyone i could go ou with tonight is either not answering their phone or i dont think they would appreciate my wishes for the night.
i could stay home, eat cheese, watch movies and get drunk by myself which is also what i feel like doing, but aas* idle hands are the devils workshop. apparently it doesnt matter to him that he didnt say it first, it just counts that he said it and that i quote him, so there you go, i have fulfilled my duty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
dear adrian,
im sorry you had to listen to me sulking over things i cant control. i know i am better than that and deserve better than that but i cant help sulking over it occasionally.
thankyou for making me laugh

i'll see you soon

love carly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

did you all just read that note? how nosy do you want to be? sheesh. surely you would have seen by the first two words that it was intended for adrian. oh, your name is adrian? well then, by all means, read away.

ugh. this still hasnt solved my problem. why wont anyone write back to my messages dog dammit!

ding!

last night kirtsy took me to marion for icecream. it was very romantic. when we were in jb hifi, there was a lady there trying to sell sony digital cameras and she stopped half way through her sentance to say

'oh my god! you look like kate from big brother' to which kirsty replied with a hearty laugh 'im so gonna call you bird cunt!'

this has been said to me before...looking like kate, not bird cunt...when i walked in to my mums birthday lunch everyone said 'yeah she does!' and as i frowned puzzled at everyone, my cousin said 'she does not look like kate from big brother, cos i'd fuck kate from big brother and i wouldnt fuck carly'

nice

but anyway, an idea hit me last night, if i look so much like kate, maybe i could get into the 'cool' places for free by impersonating her. it was also suggested that i try to get into tims pants

maybe

waiting and wondering

im currently sitting at home waiting for personwhosnameimustnevermention and marc to come pick me up. they were supposed to be here at 9am to take me to their grandpas funeral.
i waited until 10 past and then called their house. i could have waited longer, given them the benefit of the doubt, but you should all know now that i hate being late and that personwhosnameimustnevermention is always late, so i thought a friendly reminder call to get their arses into gear may be in order. and hey, the dead wait for no one.
no answer
i call at 20 past
still no answer
personwhosnameimustnevermention left his phone at my house last night so i cant call that, so i call that, so i call marcs phone.
'yeah, we're at colonnades getting suited up. you know, buying shirts and ties'
at 20 past nine on the morning of your grandpas funeral when we have to be at 10:30 which is an hours drive away
and i've already told you, the dead wait for no one
'yeah, i guess we'd better get a move on'
it is now 9:47 and they're still not here
and you know, all i can think of is that while im at the funeral, my cat may be losing its fur because it rubbed up against me while my legs were covered in hair removal creme