buffy fucking rocks

i am SO enjoying buffy this year. much more than other years, i think. i am actually stopping myself this time, from looking over the internet and finding out what happens because i want this year to be a surprise. i know it has something to do with spike and a necklace or something, but thats all im guessing.
so funny too. when fred rang, and andrews all, 'willow, theres someone called fred on the phone, he sounds pretty feminine' and then he makes this face like it could be someone he'd like to meet. heehee, andrew

on a non buffy note..... nope, nothing..... my feet are cold....thats about it

look at what sean made for me and holly and him. lovely :)

thankyou sean :)

the toy fair was on over the weekend. we did pretty well. we would have done better had we not bought a whole lotta stuff, but i do now have a sylvanian families house AND a pony. matt got a yakface and a millenium falcon. he also got battle poncho luke and romba, so now he's only got to get lando general pilot and barada and he's finished the collection. of course he still has to get all the variations. like a tusken raider with hollow face tubes, or a turtle neck leia, or a big headed han. actually, he has most of those, they're just the only ones i can think of.
all in all we had a pretty good weekend. at first i was a bit uncomfortable being surrounded by so many toy geeks, but i soon felt at home. i didnt so much feel like one of the remote control car geeks that were near the kitchen. they even had coke bottle glasses and one was called ian.
oh, how i needed to have a few spare hundred dollars. there was one guy from brisbane who had almost all the strawberry shortcake dolls, with their pets and combs. there was a berry bake house in its box. there was a cookie jar that was $50, and is worth up to $750 US, and that was a couple of years ago. i did get a cute little handbag though, so that made me happy. and matt found a mooseal for me, yay

it's my blog's one year anniversary tomorrow, presents are most welcome :)

thankyou to everyone who stops by here and reads about the meagre goings on in my life, i hope you'll all keep visiting and making me smile

thanks :)

also, this is the reason the internet was invented

he is a fuckhead

i dont think i'll ever say that enough

or asstwit....thanks for that one holly :)

care factor = zero

my uncle is currently on life support in intensive care, in a coma because he drank himself into it. my nanna and poppa found him collapsed on the laundry floor on friday. he is such a selfish bastard. he's like, 52 or something, and living with his parents because he and his ex were fighting over every single thing in their divorce settlement. therefore, all his assets had been frozen. the three houses, the 2 cars, his superannuation, all of it. so he's living with his parents, drinking himself into oblivion. they were having to clean him up when he shits and pisses himself cos he's too drunk to get up and go to the toilet. he's a 52 year old man, and he's fucking huge, my poppa has just had chemo every day for the last 7 weeks, they cant be expected to do that stuff...they shouldnt have to.
i have no good memories of my uncle. he is a loud, selfish bastard. no one apart from my nanna and poppa, cares about the fact he's dying. his kids are carrying on as usual. my dad said that if he has to do a eulogy at the funeral he'll just say that he was a mongrel.

must feel nice to be loved like that. i guess that was part of the reason he was a drunk, although he's so self absorbed that he probably didnt even know everyone hated him.

so he'll probably die by the end of the week.

love and other catastrophes

love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration

dh lawrence

love...is a quicksilver word; though you see plainly where it is, you have only to put your finger on it to find that it is not there but someplace else

morton hunt

love is the same as like except you feel sexier

judith viorst

happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length

robert frost

jealousy: that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive

havelock ellis

sometimes when one person is missing the whole world seems depopulated

lamartine

it is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations

kahill gibran

on another note, x is playing his first game of soccor tonight....cute

boys are just....

i think that guys have a different set of...i dont know, like, what matters and, time frames, and a whole lot of things.
if you email someone, you kinda expect them to write back, dont you? well, i do. especially if there are questions in the email, or, well, it's just common courtesy to write back to people who you suppose are your friends. even if they arent friends, a little 'i got your mail, thanks' is always nice.

i know of someone in particular who is waiting for an email from someone in particular. and it's shitting me that he hasnt written back. well, it's not really, because i had a feeling he wouldnt. its just the sort of lame-ass thing he'd do. but enough abou that, i am choosing not to comment about said someone on here.

i am also waiting for emails. something going on with cam. i dont know what. i tried to email him but they keep coming back saying that the email doesnt exist anymore. i know he's alive cos his band is playing gigs, but it would be nice to be able to talk to him again.

half an hour?

Last night, matt and i tried some stuff. i know i switched off almost immediatly, but i was conscious of everything happening for a while. probably until the sex started. i remember looking at the clock at 11:40 .next thing i remember, im crying and its ten past 12. i dont remember the rest.

apparently i really freaked out. didnt look like me. i didnt look like i was even there, which i guess, i wasnt. i was wherever i go when i dont like the thing that happening. that place that seems safe to me, even though i come out of it feeling even more scared than when i go in.
I dont know what happens to me while i'm in there, but i spent half an hour in limbo last night while matt had sex with me.

i dont know what to do

dusty blonde two year old in blue ghost pyjamas that are covering his feet, walking around the backyard pushing a plastic wheelbarrow = the happiest thing ive seen

who the hell sells a 10 year old kid a balaclava and a ball bearing gun?

thanks darcie :)

i was going to put a 'rate my blog' thing on like holly has....cos i copied her....but i clicked on the the template thing and there's nothing there...hmmm...maybe next time. or maybe tomorrow morning i can ask my lovely computer boy to give me a hand. *smiles and winks* you know who you are.

*sigh*

marc and lyndell broke up again. i reckon it might be for good this time. as far as i can see, it's because marc has been being a bit shitty and moody lately and taking it out on lyndell and she's tried to work things out with him but he doesnt want to. i dont know. lyndell's gonna call me tomorrow or the next day, i guess i'll find out more then.

on another note, words look really funny sometimes when you either press the space bar too soon or too late. like, i wrote 'copiedher' before and i thought that looked funny. but the one that still makes me laugh is when you forget to press the space bar typing 'pen is'.

yes, childish mind, but i'm happy with it.

it was eli's 2nd birthday and my cousin christopher's 11th birthday yesterday. it was aaron's 18th today, and in about 3 weeks it'll be xander's 4th and alisons 18th. all these people are growing up. it's weird. i saw a boy today that i babysat as a baby, and he's taller than me with this deep deep voice and funky clothes.
sharyn saw a guy that we used to hang out with years ago. years as in 10 or so. she said she didnt recognise him at frist until she remembered that other people grow up too, not just us, and that they're bound to look, older, fatter, thinner, balder, etc.

i dont like change

my baby is 2 tomorrow....baby eli.....2....*sigh*....